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Αυθυποβολή: Αυτή η άγνωστη δύναμη

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Μεταμορφώνοντας το υποσυνείδητο

Υποβολή είναι η σκέψη, η ιδέα, η εντύπωση ή κατάσταση που υποδόρια, ασυναίσθητα και αποτελεσματικά επιβάλλεται στον άνθρωπο από μια εξωτερική ή εσωτερική πηγή. Όλα γύρω μας δουλεύουν με την υποβολή, συνειδητά ή ασυνείδητα, για καλό ή κακό σκοπό. Οι γονείς, το σχολείο, οι φίλοι, τα πολιτικά κόμματα, οι αγαπημένοι και οι εχθροί μας, οι διαφημιστές, η κοινωνία στο σύνολό της είναι σε ένα διαρκές αλισβερίσι προβαλλόμενων προτύπων και ιδεών και αντίστοιχων ανταποκρίσεων. Πανίσχυρο εργαλείο η υποβολή γίνεται μηχανισμός ελέγχου, χειραγώγησης αλλά και βελτίωσης ή απελευθέρωσης αν χρησιμοποιηθεί με τον κατάλληλο τρόπο. Σε αυτή την τελευταία διάσταση επιμένουν για χρόνια συγγραφείς, ψυχοθεραπευτές και ένας ολόκληρος στρατός ανθρώπων που υποστηρίζει το κίνημα της θετικής σκέψης. Στην ουσία, όλη η φιλοσοφία του “positive thinking” βασίζεται πάνω στην μετατροπή και αλλαγή της ψυχοσυναισθηματικής και διανοητικής κατάστασης του ατόμου μέσω των διαρκών, κατευθυνόμενων υποβολών. Αυτό είναι το κλειδί πίσω από τον ενεργητικό διαλογισμό της μεθόδου Silva, την επιτυχία των απλοϊκών αλλά αποτελεσματικών βιβλίων τύπου «το Μυστικό», τη δύναμη των χαπιών placebo.

Εδώ, οφείλεται μνεία και εύφημος αναφορά στον Emile Coué, τον γάλλο ψυχοθεραπευτή που κυριολεκτικά εφηύρε συστηματοποιημένα την διαδικασία του placebo effect με την ανάπτυξη της αισιόδοξης, θεραπευτικής αυθυποβολής του. Ο Coué στις αρχές του προηγούμενου αιώνα γιάτρεψε εκατοντάδες ασθενείς από διάφορες, ήπιες και βαριές ασθένειες με έναν συνδυασμό ύπνωσης, φαντασιακής επιρροής και επανάληψης ενός θετικού μάντρα-φράσης. Η φράση του ήταν το απλούστατο «Κάθε μέρα, με κάθε τρόπο, γίνομαι καλύτερα, όλο και καλύτερα» που αφού την υπέβαλε στου ασθενείς τους, τους έβαζε να την λένε καθημερινά, σε τακτά διαστήματα επαναλήψεων. Το βιβλίο του «Αυτοκυριαρχία Μέσω της Ενσυνείδητης Αυθυποβολής» (Self Mastery Through Conscious Autosuggestion) είναι πλέον κλασσικό και ίσως ένα από τα καλύτερα, συγκροτημένα εγχειρίδια που μπορεί να χρησιμοποιήσει κάποιος για την αυτοβελτίωσή του.

Που έγκειται η δύναμη των αυθυποβολών

Μιλώντας για υποβολή, στην συγκεκριμένη φάση, μιλάμε αποκλειστικά για αυθυποβολή, ιδίως την αυθυποβολή που επιχειρεί συνειδητά ένα άτομο στον εαυτό του για να πετύχει ένα ορισμένο θετικό αποτέλεσμα ή να διακόψει την δράση ενός αρνητικού. Αφήνουμε εντελώς απέξω, προς το παρόν, το θέμα της υποβολής άλλου προσώπου, με όσα ηθικά ζητήματα εγείρει.

Οι τρόποι και τα τρυκ για να πετύχει κάποιος μια επιθυμητή μεταστροφή της σκέψης και της συναισθηματικής του κατάστασης είναι πολλοί –στο τέλος αυτού του κειμένου θα σας δώσουμε έναν από τους πιο απλούς και αποτελεσματικούς- αλλά οι αρχές με τις οποίες λειτουργεί η αυθυποβολή είναι σταθερά οι ίδιες. Σε αυτές τις αρχές λειτουργούν τα μάντρα και οι προσευχές, οι τελετουργίες και το NLP (Neuro-Llinguistic Programming).

Η αρχή της επανάληψης

Όχι απλά μήτηρ μαθήσεως αλλά και δυναμικός μετατροπέας των σκέψεων, των συνηθειών και των στάσεών μας, η επανάληψη μπορεί να προκαλέσει βαθιά αλλαγή. Η επανάληψη εστιάζει το μυαλό προς τον επιδιωκόμενο στόχο, μετατρέπει το συναίσθημα, εμψυχώνει. Μια σειρά απλών θετικών προτάσεων/καταφάσεων που επαναλαμβάνεται, αυτόματα ή με αίσθημα, μπορεί κυριολεκτικά να αλλάξει τη διάθεση κάποιου μετατοπίζοντας το συναίσθημά του από τον αρνητικό στον θετικό πόλο. Η επανάληψη έχει αθροιστικό αποτέλεσμα.

Η γεωμετρική αύξηση της επενέργειας των αυθυποβολών

Έχει να κάνει με την μαγικής φύσεως ιδέα του «ενεργοποιημένου ενθουσιασμού», την οποία μπορεί να προκαλέσει ο άνθρωπος ανυψώνοντας συναισθηματικά κυρίως αλλά και διανοητικά και ενεργειακά τον εαυτό του. Οι επαναλαμβανόμενες ταυτόσημες σκέψεις αυξάνουν το αναμενόμενο ψυχικό αποτέλεσμα. Οι παραδόσεις όλων των θρησκειών επιβεβαιώνουν πως εξακολουθητικές προσευχές εισακούγονται καλύτερα από μία μόνο, ακριβώς γιατί τείνουν με την επανάληψη να ενισχύουν την προσμονή και την πίστη.

Η μεταβολή των κυρίαρχων σκέψεων

Το επιδιωκόμενο είναι να μεταβληθούν οι κυρίαρχες σκέψεις. Η αυθυποβολή όταν γίνεται για μακρό διάστημα και με σταθερότητα μπορεί να σπάσει τα όρια της προσωπικότητας μετατοπίζοντας την σκέψη – και κυρίως αυτό που επηρεάζει η σκέψη, το συναίσθημα- στην σωστή πλευρά, την πιο αποδοτική για τον άνθρωπο. Ο Charles Haanel έχει γράψει πως «η σκέψη χτίζει οργανικές δομές τόσο στους ανθρώπους όσο και στα ζώα» και πως «ορισμένες ενσυνείδητες διαδικασίες» όπως αυτή της αυθυποβολής, «θα παράγουν συγκεκριμένα φαινόμενα που τα αποτελέσματά τους θα είναι αδιακρίτως τα ίδια». Οι έρευνες του εγκεφάλου σήμερα από τις νευροεπιστήμες επιβεβαιώνουν αυτό που έλεγε ο Haanel σχεδόν έναν αιώνα νωρίτερα χωρίς μαγνητικές τομογραφίες και εγκεφαλογραφήματα στα χέρια του. Οι περισσότερες αρνητικές εγγραφές που υπάρχουν στον καθένα μας έχουν δημιουργηθεί ακριβώς μέσα από μια ατέλειωτη σειρά «αρνητικών εγγραφών». Με την υποκατάσταση μέσω «θετικών εγγραφών» τα δεδομένα μπορεί να αντιστραφούν.

Η δύναμη των καταφάσεων. Επαναπρογραμματισμός και αύξηση του ψυχικού δυναμικού

«Μια θετική σκέψη είναι χίλιες φορές ισχυρότερη από μια αρνητική.» Αυτή η στερεότυπη, new age φράση έχει αλήθεια μέσα της. Γνωρίζουμε όλοι εκ πείρας πως ένα ασήμαντο θετικό επεισόδιο ή μια μεταστροφή της σκέψης μας στη φωτεινή πλευρά της ζωής μπορεί να αλλάζει αλυσιδωτά την διάθεσή μας και τη μέρα μας. Η διαρκής αυθυποβολή λειτουργεί ως πολλαπλασιαστής προσδοκίας μέσα από τις αντίστοιχα διαρκείς κρούσεις που κάνει στη φαντασία. Συστηματικά μπορεί να επαναπρογραμματίσει προδιάθεση, επιθυμία και προσδοκία εκεί που θέλουμε. «Πες το μέχρι να το πιστέψεις.» Ή όπως υποστηρίζει μια διάσημη ξένη φράση “Fake it until you make it!”, “Προσποιήσου μέχρι να το κάνεις αληθινό!” Στην πραγματικότητα αυτό που επηρεάζεται είναι το συναίσθημα αυξάνοντας το απόθεμα του ενδιάθετου ψυχικού δυναμικού. Η αυθυποβολή γίνεται έτσι ένα εργαλείο επίκλησης γι’αυτό που μια σειρά από ψυχικούς ερευνητές ονομάζουν «ανώτερο εαυτό» του ανθρώπου. Ακόμα και η Τύχη, αυτή η τυφλή θεότητα δεν φαίνεται να είναι καθόλου κουφή. Ακούει τις επικλήσεις και ανταποκρίνεται. Η έννοια της τύχης ενσωματώνει την θετική εικόνα του εαυτού. Η υποβολή κάνει αυτή τη δουλειά.

Μια απλή, εύκολα εφαρμόσιμη μέθοδος

Ανάμεσα στις άπειρες μεθόδους που έχουν δουλευτεί από πολλούς ανθρώπους θα παρουσιάσουμε το απλό και αποτελεσματικό «τρυκ» που προτείνει ο Max Freedom Long στο βιβλίο του “Self-Suggestion and the new huna theory of Mesmerism and hypnotism”. Μελετητής και κύριος εισηγητής στη Δύση της φιλοσοφίας Huna, ο Long δείχνει πώς να επηρεάσεις τον υποσυνείδητο, κατώτερο εαυτό (αυτόν που μπλοκάρει με τις αναχαιτίσεις και τους φόβους του την υλοποίηση των επιθυμιών του ανθρώπου) με την απλή μέθοδο του «κομποσκοινιού». Το «σκοινί της προσευχής», εργαλείο για την συγκέντρωση του νου μέσα από την επανάληψη των προσευχών βρίσκεται σχεδόν σε όλο τον κόσμο. Ο ορθόδοξος χριστιανισμός χρησιμοποιεί το κομποσκοίνι (με 33 συνήθως κόμπους), οι καθολικοί το ροζάριο, οι ινδουϊστές και βουδιστές το τζάπα μάλα (με 108 κόμπους), οι μουσουλμάνοι το tasbih και το κομπολόι.

Η προσευχή είναι επίκληση. Μια αυθυποβολή είναι επίσης επίκληση, σε αυτή την περίπτωση όμως στην καλύτερη όψη του δικού μας εαυτού. Η κατασκευή και η χρήση ενός «σκοινιού με κόμπους» είναι ένας τρόπος συνομιλίας –και πειθούς- του υποσυνείδητου εαυτού μας μέσω των επαναλήψεων μιας εστιασμένης φράσης-επίκλησης.

Καλό είναι να μην χρησιμοποιήσετε ένα έτοιμο «σκοινί προσευχών» αλλά να κατασκευάσετε το δικό σας, από όποιο υλικό προτιμάτε (δέρμα- μεταξωτή κορδέλα- σκοινί) γιατί όπως υποστηρίζει σωστά και η Dion Fortune, «ο μύστης πρέπει να κατασκευάζει μόνος του τα εργαλεία του». Έτσι τα εμψυχώνει με την δική του πρόθεση και ενέργεια. Από μόνη της η κατασκευή είναι μια δήλωση ότι δουλεύετε προς μια συγκεκριμένη κατεύθυνση. Διαλέξτε ένα γερό υλικό και κάντε κόμπους στον αριθμό που εσείς θέλετε (στο τυχερό σας νούμερο ή σε κάποιο αριθμό που για σας σημαίνει κάτι). Αφήστε το σκοινί ανοιχτό ή κάντε το βραχιόλι και ακολουθήστε μια μικρή τελετουργία επίκλησης προς την κατεύθυνση που θέλετε. Αφού σκεφτείτε σοβαρά για κάποιο χρόνο τι θα θέλατε να αλλάξετε ή να βελτιώσετε στη ζωή σας, συντάξτε μια σύντομη, θετική, γενική φράση που θα δηλώνει το σκοπό σας. Ορίστε 2-3 χρονικά διαστήματα κάθε μέρα, πρωί-βράδυ ή όποτε έχετε την καλύτερη διάθεση και επαναλαμβάνετε τη φράση περνώντας τα χέρια σας στους κόμπους. Για όσο καιρό αυτή η φράση σας εκφράζει μπορείτε να τη χρησιμοποιείται και κατόπιν να την αλλάξετε με μια επόμενη.

Κάποιοι υποστηρίζουν πως ο καλύτερος τρόπος να εκφέρεις ένα προσωπικό μάντρα είναι με ένταση και συναίσθημα. Άλλοι λένε πως η γρήγορη, υπνωτιστική επανάληψη όπου ακόμα κι αυτός που την εκφέρει δεν την αντιλαμβάνεται λειτουργεί καλύτερα σε υποσυνείδητο επίπεδο. Διαλέξτε όποια μέθοδο σας ταιριάζει.

Αυτό το πανάρχαιο και απλούστατο εργαλείο είναι πραγματικά ισχυρό. Δοκιμάστε το κάποια στιγμή που αισθάνεστε καταβεβλημένος ή απαισιόδοξος. Ακόμα και η απλή επανάληψη 2-3 φορές μπορεί να έχει σπουδαία αποτελέσματα.

Γράφει ο Άρης Χανδρής

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    Piątka możesz mi mówić Mieszko. Adwokat Rzeszów ze mnną to banał. W tym momencie moim miejscem przebywania jest piękne miasto Rypin. Adwokat Rzeszów w Polsce- czyli jak w nieskomplikowany sposób poradzić sobie z zadłużeniem.

  227. Adwokat Rzeszów

    23 December 2022 at 4:22 pm

    Cześć i czołem zwą mnie Mateusz. Adwokat Rzeszów- duże ułatwienie dla zadłużonych, wiem coś o tym. W tym momencie moim miejscem zamieszkania jest znane miasto Kościan. Adwokat Rzeszów w Polsce- opisanie statystyczne rodzimych kredytobiorców.

  228. Adwokat Rzeszów

    25 December 2022 at 1:32 am

    Halo noszę genialne imię Fabian. Razem ze mną pozyskaj Adwokat Rzeszów i pożegnaj się komornika. Na czas dzisiejszy moim miejscem bytowania jest bogate miasto Piastów. Adwokat Rzeszów w Polsce- nie będziesz musiał mieć de facto żadnych pieniędzy.

  229. marwhal

    26 December 2022 at 5:03 pm

  230. devgled

    26 December 2022 at 6:57 pm

  231. raychri

    26 December 2022 at 7:47 pm

  232. azacher

    26 December 2022 at 9:15 pm

  233. einhcarl

    26 December 2022 at 10:51 pm

  234. criverd

    26 December 2022 at 11:40 pm

  235. kaytel

    27 December 2022 at 1:19 am

  236. philvank

    27 December 2022 at 3:56 am

  237. kagauld

    27 December 2022 at 6:41 am

  238. favjua

    27 December 2022 at 7:37 am

  239. annshan

    28 December 2022 at 12:45 am

  240. hermree

    28 December 2022 at 1:17 am

  241. uldner

    28 December 2022 at 1:26 am

  242. Josephrig

    30 December 2022 at 3:26 am

    hej co slychac

  243. konsolidacja chwilówek dla zadłużonych

    3 January 2023 at 10:25 pm

    Halo według dowodu osobistego moje imię to Julek. padłość konsumencka to przychylne rozstrzygnięcie dla Twojego osobistego budżetu. W tym momencie moim miejscem zamieszkania jest bogate miasto Ełk. provident konsolidacja chwilowek w Polsce- najnowsze wyroki sądów konsolidacja chwilowek bez zdolnosci w Polsce- lista ofert kosztowych adwokatów.

  244. konsolidacja chwilówek gdzie

    4 January 2023 at 3:19 am

    Sie macie moje imię to Jeremiasz. W mojej pracy konsolidacja chwilówek dla zadłużonych to fundament do rozwiązania finansowych problemów. Na czas dzisiejszy moim miejscem zamieszkania jest prężnie rozwijające się miasto KarpaczKartuzy. najtańsza konsolidacja chwilówek w Polsce a pensja syndyka.

  245. Siemuchno jestem znany pod imieniem Leszek. konsolidacja chwilówek z windykacją z mną dostanie także osoba zadłużona. W tym momencie moim miejscem zamieszkiwania jest zabytkowe miasto Złocieniec. konsolidacja chwilówek z windykacją w Polsce, kiedy sąd przychyli się do naszego wniosku.

  246. konsolidacja chwilówek gdzie

    4 January 2023 at 7:19 am

    Witaj tatuś wybrał dla mnie imię Bronisław. konsolidacja chwilówek warszawa to mój konik w pracy. W tym momencie moim miejscem egzystencji jest urokliwe miasto Przemyśl. konsolidacja chwilówek bez zdolności kredytowej online w Polsce a uznanie czynności prawnej za nieważną względem pożyczkodawców.

  247. online konsolidacja chwilówek

    4 January 2023 at 12:37 pm

    Hej moje pierwsze imię to Michał. Upadłość konsumencka- pomogę Ci ją biegle zrealizować. W chwili obecnej moim miejscem przebywania jest wielowyznaniowe miasto Legnica. konsolidacja chwilówek dla zadłużonych w Polsce- nie trzeba mieć właściwie jakichkolwiek środków finansowych.

  248. konsolidacja chwilowek przez internet

    4 January 2023 at 5:19 pm

    Ave nadano mi imię Jacek. pozabankowa konsolidacja chwilówek jeszcze przenigdy nie był tak prosty w przydzieleniu. W tym momencie moim miejscem zamieszkiwania jest nowoczesne miasto Ełk. konsolidacja chwilówek gdzie w Polsce to okazja na wydostanie się z pętli chwilówek.

  249. konsolidacja chwilówek

    4 January 2023 at 7:49 pm

    Siemaneczko możecie mi mówić Ferdynand. konsolidacja chwilówek przez internet to najfajniejsze rozstrzygnięcie dla osób zadłużonych. W tym momencie moim miejscem przebywania jest urokliwe miasto Malbork. konsolidacja chwilowek gdzie w Polsce- jak dużoekosztuje złożenie wniosku.

  250. konsolidacja chwilowek gdzie

    4 January 2023 at 10:58 pm

    Yo nazywam się Zyga. konsolidacja chwilowek online odmieni Twoje życie. Aktualnie moim miejscem przebywania jest przepiękne miasto Legnica. konsolidacja chwilowek bez zdolnosci w Polsce nie w każdym przypadku oznacza pożegnanie zadłużeń.

  251. konsolidacja chwilowek gdzie

    5 January 2023 at 4:14 am

    Hej możecie mi mówić Hieronim. konsolidacja chwilówek- spytaj jak Ci mogę ulżyć. W tej chwili moim miejscem egzystencji jest postępowe miasto Murowana Goślina. konsolidacja chwilowek gdzie w Polsce- pomoc pełnomocnika dla mało zarabiających.

  252. online konsolidacja chwilówek

    5 January 2023 at 5:46 am

    Yo zwą mnie Remik. szybka konsolidacja chwilówek- tak napisz do mnie we wiadomości. Aktualnie moim miejscem przebywania jest kapitalne miasto Wyrzysk. konsolidacja chwilówek przez internet w Polsce- ekspert radzi jak ukończyć.

  253. Dżem dobry zwą mnie Seweryn. konsolidacja chwilówek dla zadłużonych przeobrazi Twoje życie. W tym momencie moim miejscem zamieszkania jest innowacyjne miasto Czeladź. konsolidacja chwilówek przez internet w Polsce to szansa dla tysięcy przekredytowanych rodzin.

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    10 January 2023 at 5:53 pm

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    10 January 2023 at 8:40 pm

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    10 January 2023 at 9:27 pm

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    10 January 2023 at 10:21 pm

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    10 January 2023 at 11:04 pm

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  262. channay

    10 January 2023 at 11:57 pm

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  263. nelygly

    11 January 2023 at 12:45 am

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    11 January 2023 at 1:32 am

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    11 January 2023 at 3:10 am

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    11 January 2023 at 3:57 am

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    11 January 2023 at 5:37 am

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  291. queeelys

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Ψυχολογία

Δεν ακούει κανέναν το παιδί σας; Χρησιμοποιείστε τη μέθοδο «Γκάντι»

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Το μικρό σας σας χτυπάει, αρνείται να σας υπακούσει… Με λίγα λόγια, μπροστά σας έχετε έναν μικρό… αντάρτη.

Με τη συμπεριφορά του πραγματικά σας φέρνει στα όριά σας. Τι κάνουμε λοιπόν; Σε αυτές τις δύσκολες περιπτώσεις μπορεί να βοηθήσει μια νέα μέθοδος. Το όνομά της; Ειρηνική αντίσταση! Πρότυπό της; Ο Μαχάτμα Γκάντι.

Ακόμη και τα πιο ήρεμα και υπάκουα πιτσιρίκια κάποια στιγμή αναστατώνουν τους γονείς τους. Γι’ αυτό και οι μικροεντάσεις δεν λείπουν σχεδόν από καμία οικογένεια. Είτε γιατί ο μικρός δεν μάζεψε τα παιχνίδια του από το καθιστικό είτε γιατί τα αδελφάκια τσακώνονται μεταξύ τους για το τελευταίο ποτήρι χυμό, με αποτέλεσμα ο μπαμπάς ή η μαμά να αναγκάζεται να βάζει τις φωνές. Όλα αυτά είναι απολύτως φυσιολογικά και συμβαίνουν και στις… καλύτερες οικογένειες.

Αν όμως το τρίχρονο πιτσιρίκι σας σας χτυπάει, αν το πεντάχρονο αγοράκι σας προσβάλλει και κοροϊδεύει τη νηπιαγωγό του, αν σας πιέζει ζητώντας διάφορα πράγματα με επίμονο και άσχημο τρόπο (π.χ. λειχουδιές, χρήματα, περισσότερη τηλεόραση), αν πρέπει να το παρακαλάτε με τις ώρες για να πάει στο κρεβάτι ή να φάει όλο το φαγητό του ή αν σας απειλεί ότι θα «αυτοκτονήσει», τότε τα πράγματα αλλάζουν.

Εδώ δεν πρόκειται για συνηθισμένες σκανδαλιές και γκρίνιες, αλλά για προβληματική συμπεριφορά. Ανεξάρτητα από τις αιτίες της, αυτή η συμπεριφορά διαταράσσει την οικογενειακή ισορροπία και φέρνει τα… πάνω κάτω στο σπίτι. Οι γονείς ταλαντεύονται ανάμεσα στην οργή και την απελπισία, τα πιτσιρίκια δοκιμάζουν τα όρια και τα νεύρα του μπαμπά και της μαμάς και απολαμβάνουν την εξουσία τους.

Υπάρχει… σωτηρία; Ναι! Αρκεί να ακολουθήσετε τη νέα τακτική που προτείνει ο καθηγητής Ψυχολογίας στο Πανεπιστήμιο του Τελ Αβίβ, Ηaim Omer, η οποία βασίζεται στη στάση και τη φιλοσοφία του Μαχάτμα Γκάντι. Δηλαδή στην ήρεμη μεν αλλά αποτελεσματική αντίσταση.

Ο Ινδός πολιτικός είχε καταφέρει να πηγαίνει κόντρα στους Βρετανούς αποικιοκράτες, χωρίς όμως η σύγκρουσή τους να βγαίνει εκτός ελέγχου και να οδηγεί σε καταστροφή. Ποιο ήταν το «όπλο» του; Η ειρηνική, χωρίς χρήση βίας, αντίσταση. Δεν θα μπορούσαν άραγε και οι γονείς να επωφεληθούν από αυτή την τακτική;

Μια πρωτοποριακή μέθοδος

Εδώ και πολλά χρόνια ο καθηγητής Ψυχολογίας Ηaim Omer δουλεύει και δοκιμάζει τη μέθοδό του σε οικογένειες στη Γερμανία και το Ισραήλ. Όλοι οι γονείς που συμμετέχουν στις έρευνές του μοιάζουν μεταξύ τους. Δηλαδή είναι μαμάδες και μπαμπάδες που έχουν μια ολέθρια έχθρα με τα μικρά τους, που βρίσκονται σε διαρκή σύγκρουση εξουσίας με τα πιτσιρίκια τους, συνήθως για ασήμαντες αφορμές.

Ή, από την άλλη, είναι γονείς που έχουν… παραδώσει τα όπλα και έχουν γίνει παιχνιδάκι στα χέρια του απαιτητικού παιδιού τους. Μάλιστα, ήδη η μέθοδος του καθηγητή Omer χρησιμοποιείται με επιτυχία από τους ειδικούς παιδοψυχολόγους στη Γερμανία σε μικρά και μεγάλα παιδιά.

Ποιο είναι, όμως, το μυστικό της νέας μεθόδου; Λοιπόν, οι γονείς, ανεξάρτητα από την ηλικία του παιδιού τους, θα πρέπει να σταματήσουν να «απαντούν» στις προκλήσεις του και να μην παρασύρονται σε μια κόντρα που δεν οδηγεί πουθενά, σε αυτόν το φαύλο κύκλο τού «Θα το κάνεις»-«Όχι, δεν θα το κάνω». Τι σημαίνει αυτό στην πράξη; Ας δούμε τι προτείνει η νέα μέθοδος:

Όχι κήρυγμα

Οι γονείς πρέπει να σταματήσουν το κήρυγμα, τα παρακάλια, τις ατέλειωτες συζητήσεις. Το μόνο που καταφέρνουν με όλα αυτά είναι να εξαντλούνται οι ίδιοι και στο τέλος το μικρό να κάνει τελικά το δικό του!

Ψυχραιμία και όχι άμεσες αντιδράσεις

Οι γονείς πρέπει να μάθουν να παραμένουν ήρεμοι σε έντονες καταστάσεις και να μην παρασύρονται από την ένταση της στιγμής. Αν, για παράδειγμα, το μικρό τους τους χαστουκίσει, θα πρέπει να μείνουν αρχικά σιωπηλοί και να συλλογιστούν αυτό που συνέβη.

Έτσι θα συγκρατήσουν την οργή τους, που μπορεί να οδηγήσει σε λάθος αντιδράσεις. Θα «απαντήσουν» στην κακή συμπεριφορά του παιδιού τους μόνο αφού περάσει κάποιος χρόνος: μισή ώρα αν το παιδί είναι κάτω των 6 ετών και μία μέρα αν είναι μεγαλύτερο.

Ξεκαθάρισμα… λογαριασμών με «Sit-in»!

Θα πρέπει να είναι ξεκάθαροι και σαφείς με το παιδί! Δηλαδή, θα πρέπει να του ανακοινώσουν ότι από εδώ και στο εξής δεν θα ανέχονται πια την άσχημη συμπεριφορά του. Επειδή όμως ένα πεντάχρονο που χτυπάει π.χ. συστηματικά τα συνομήλικά του ή φέρεται πολύ άσχημα στη μητέρα του δεν… παίρνει και πολύ στα σοβαρά υπόψη του τέτοιου είδους ανακοινώσεις, θα πρέπει οι γονείς να κάνουν την ανακοίνωσή τους με τον πιο σωστό τρόπο. Ποιος είναι αυτός;

Το «Sit-in». Δηλαδή, οι γονείς θα πρέπει να κάνουν «κατάληψη» στο δωμάτιο του παιδιού, να καθίσουν σε μια καρέκλα και να πουν με πολύ σοβαρό ύφος στο μικρό ότι δεν πρόκειται να ανεχτούν πια τη συμπεριφορά του και ότι περιμένουν, εδώ και τώρα, από εκείνο, τις προτάσεις του για να λυθεί το πρόβλημα.

Όπως τονίζουν οι ειδικοί της μεθόδου, «με το Sit-in δεν επιβάλλουμε τίποτα στο παιδί, αλλά αντίθετα το ενθαρρύνουμε να βρει μόνο του τη λύση. Οι γονείς δεν είναι ούτε αυθεντίες που γνωρίζουν τα πάντα ούτε ρομπότ-παιδαγωγοί που μοιράζουν επιβραβεύσεις ή τιμωρίες».

Μια αγκαλιά στις δύσκολες στιγμές

Αν το παιδί είναι μικρό (2-3 ετών) και έχει κάποιο από τα γνωστά ξεσπάσματα θυμού αυτής της ηλικίας, δηλαδή πέφτει στο πάτωμα, ουρλιάζει, καταστρέφει αντικείμενα ή απειλεί να κάνει κακό στον εαυτό του, οι γονείς μπορούν να το ηρεμήσουν με μια λαβή που ονομάζεται «η αγκαλιά της αρκούδας».

Σε αυτή την περίπτωση ο ενήλικος παίρνει το παιδί στην αγκαλιά του και κλείνει σφιχτά γύρω του τα χέρια του, έτσι ώστε το μικρό να μην μπορεί να κάνει καμία κίνηση. Το μήνυμα που παίρνει το πιτσιρίκι είναι το εξής: «Είμαι εδώ. Θα μείνω εδώ. Δεν θα σε αφήσω να συνεχίσεις αυτό που κάνεις».

Μάρτυρες «υπεράσπισης»

Συνήθως οι γονείς επιθετικών παιδιών αισθάνονται ντροπή για τη συμπεριφορά του μικρού τους και αποφεύγουν να μιλούν γι’ αυτό το θέμα. Σύμφωνα με τους ειδικούς, όμως, είναι σημαντικό να σπάσουν τη σιωπή τους και να αναζητήσουν τη βοήθεια κάποιου δικού τους άνθρωπου: είτε μιας φίλης, είτε ενός θείου ή θείας του παιδιού.

Αυτό το άτομο μπορεί να μεσολαβήσει στους καβγάδες τους με το μικρό, να χρησιμεύσει ως «μάρτυρας υπεράσπισης» των γονιών και να δείξει στο παιδί ότι βρίσκει σωστή την απόφαση και τη θέση του μπαμπά ή της μαμάς. Ας μην ξεχνάμε ότι ο κύκλος των γονιών -οι φίλοι και οι συγγενείς- παίζει σπουδαίο ρόλο για τα παιδιά, αφού αντιπροσωπεύει για εκείνα τον κόσμο των ενηλίκων.

Βλέποντας το μικρό ότι αυτός ο κόσμος αποδέχεται και στηρίζει τους γονείς, ηρεμεί και αισθάνεται μεγαλύτερη ασφάλεια και σιγουριά για τους δικούς του, τους σέβεται και τους υπολογίζει.

Mαζί στο γραφείο

Αν το παιδί είναι μεγαλύτερο, οι γονείς μπορούν να εφαρμόσουν την τακτική «Τime-in». Δηλαδή, το παιδί είναι υποχρεωμένο να περάσει μία μέρα με τον μπαμπά ή τη μαμά στο χώρο της εργασίας τους.

Τα οφέλη

Εφαρμόζοντας αυτή τη μέθοδο, οι γονείς κερδίζουν πολλά. Πρώτα απ όλα, αποκτούν υπόσταση ως γονείς. Τι σημαίνει αυτό; Ότι παύουν να είναι… αόρατοι για το μικρό. Έτσι γίνονται πιο δυνατοί και κάνουν αισθητή την παρουσία τους. Και αυτή η δύναμη είναι το αντίθετο της εξουσίας, που καταπιέζει και εξουδετερώνει το παιδί. Ας μην ξεχνάμε ότι οι τιμωρίες και οι απειλές απομακρύνουν το παιδί από το γονιό.

Αντίθετα, η δύναμη που πηγάζει από την ειρηνική αντίσταση φέρνει το παιδί πιο κοντά στο γονιό, γίνεται μια γέφυρα επικοινωνίας.

Τα παιδιά αναπτύσσονται πιο σωστά όταν αισθάνονται όχι μόνο την αγάπη και την τρυφερότητα των γονιών τους, αλλά και τη δύναμή τους και την αποφασιστικότητά τους. Είναι δύσκολο φυσικά να κάνεις το παιδί σου να σε βλέπει έτσι κάθε μέρα: τρυφερό αλλά και δυνατό.

Η μέθοδος Γκάντι, λοιπόν, προσπαθεί να συνδυάσει με τον καλύτερο και πιο άμεσο τρόπο αυτά τα δύο στοιχεία. Η ειρηνική αντίσταση μπορεί, πραγματικά, να βοηθήσει τους γονείς να αποκαταστήσουν την ισορροπία στην οικογένειά τους. Και, μάλιστα, από τη στιγμή που θα τα καταφέρουν, είναι πια περιττή…

Ναι μεν, αλλά…

Υπάρχει και αντίλογος σε αυτή τη μέθοδο. Ορισμένοι ειδικοί τη βρίσκουν υπερβολικά σκληρή και δύσκολη για τους γονείς και τα παιδιά. Μπορεί να μη χρησιμοποιούν οι γονείς βία, αλλά, από την άλλη, μήπως με αυτή την τακτική απλώς καταπιέζουν την παρόρμησή τους και επιβάλλουν την εξουσία τους με έναν άλλον τρόπο; Ο καθηγητής Omar γνωρίζει αυτό τον κίνδυνο. Όμως, όπως τονίζει, η σχέση παιδιού και γονιού έχει πάντα το στοιχείο της εξουσίας, αφού οι γονείς είναι εκείνοι που θα πρέπει να βάζουν τα όρια.

Η ειρηνική αντίσταση μπορεί να είναι «ειρηνική», αλλά ταυτόχρονα είναι και δυναμική, ενώ ο στόχος των γονιών που την εφαρμόζουν δεν είναι να νικήσουν… το παιδί. Η μαμά και ο μπαμπάς που ακολουθούν αυτή τη μέθοδο πρέπει να είναι ταυτόχρονα και τρυφεροί με τα μικρά τους. Θα πρέπει να τους λένε το «σ’ αγαπώ» και να τους δείχνουν έμπρακτα την αγάπη τους και το σεβασμό τους.

Δεν πρέπει να αποφεύγουν να «καλομαθαίνουν» το μικρό ταραξία με μια εκδρομή ή μια έξοδο για γλυκό. Όμως, αυτό θα πρέπει να το κάνουν χωρίς ανταλλάγματα, π.χ. «Αν είσαι φρόνιμος, θα πάμε σινεμά», και να δείξουν απλά στο πιτσιρίκι τους πόσο πολύ το υπολογίζουν και το εκτιμούν.

Τι είναι το «Sit-in»

O γονιός (ή και οι δύο γονείς) μπαίνει στο δωμάτιο, κλείνει πίσω του την πόρτα και κάθεται σε μια καρέκλα μπροστά στην είσοδο του παιδικού δωματίου. Με ήρεμη φωνή λέει στο παιδί: «Δεν αποδέχομαι άλλο αυτό που κάνεις (π.χ. το ότι χτυπάς και βρίζεις τα άλλα παιδιά κ.ά.). Θα μείνω εδώ και θα περιμένω από εσένα τις προτάσεις σου για το πώς μπορεί να βελτιωθεί η κατάσταση στο μέλλον».

Ο μπαμπάς (ή η μαμά) δεν πρέπει να ανοίξει διάλογο με το παιδί, να το προκαλέσει ή να απαντήσει στις προκλήσεις του. Αν το μικρό απλώσει το χέρι του, μπορεί να αμυνθεί, αλλά όχι με φωνές ή ανταποδίδοντας το χτύπημα. Στην περίπτωση που το παιδί κάνει σοβαρές προτάσεις για τη λύση του προβλήματος, θα πρέπει ο γονιός να τις συζητήσει μαζί του.

Αν πάλι το παιδί δεν προτείνει τίποτε, τότε ο γονιός θα πρέπει να παραμείνει στο δωμάτιο (μισή ή μία ώρα, ανάλογα με την ηλικία του παιδιού). Αν τελικά το «Sit-in» δεν φέρει αποτέλεσμα, μπορεί να το επαναλάβει την επόμενη ή τις επόμενες μέρες. Όπως έχουν δείξει οι έρευνες, η συμπεριφορά του παιδιού καλυτερεύει ύστερα από μερικά «Sit-in». Προσοχή όμως! Το «Sit-in» δεν πρέπει να γίνεται αμέσως μετά από κάποιον καβγά.

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Ψυχολογία

Όταν αρρωσταίνει η ψυχή, πονά και το σώμα

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Η ψυχή (νόηση) και το σώμα αποτελούν ένα ενιαίο και αδιάσπαστο σύνολο. Οταν για οποιονδήποτε λόγο πάσχει το ένα, αναπόφευκτα πλήττεται και το άλλο. Γνωρίζουμε πλέον και αποδεχόμαστε επιστημονικά ότι ο ανθρώπινος οργανισμός αντιμετωπίζεται ως μια ενιαία ψυχοβιολογική οντότητα.

Το σύμπτωμα αντιμετωπίζεται σαν ένα στάδιο της «εξέλιξης» που έχει κάποιο νόημα, ή υποδηλώνει συχνά τη διαταραγμένη σχέση του ατόμου με το περιβάλλον του.

Τα σωματικά συμπτώματα όταν η ψυχή νοσεί

Στην τρέχουσα πραγματικότητα της πανδημίας που διαβιούμε, το άγχος, ο φόβος και η ανασφάλεια, καθώς και τα έντονα συναισθήματα θλίψης, εγκατάλειψης, έλλειψης στόχου και νοήματος όπως και αυτά της απομόνωσης που προκύπτουν, τόσο σε προσωπικό όσο και σε κοινωνικό επίπεδο, μπορεί να οδηγήσουν σε ψυχοσωματικά συμπτώματα, όπως για παράδειγμα το σύνδρομο χρόνιας κοπώσεως, συχνουρία, πονοκέφαλος, ζαλάδες, αιμωδίες (μυρμηγκιάσματα), προβλήματα μνήμης (αιτία είναι η διάσπαση προσοχής από το άγχος που δημιουργεί προβλήματα στην αποθήκευση και στην ανάκληση των αποθηκευμένων στην μνήμη πληροφοριών), ανορεξία, ή αυξημένη όρεξη, βουλιμία, νυκτερινή ενούρηση σε παιδιά και εφήβους.

Το όποιο σύμπτωμα πάντα χρήζει ιατρικής εξέτασης, διάγνωσης και κατάλληλης ιατρικής αντιμετώπισης, από εξειδικευμένους γιατρούς. Οταν όμως γίνουν οι απαραίτητες εξετάσεις και αποκλειστεί ο παθολογικός παράγοντας, τότε κάποιος ψυχοσωματικός παράγοντας εμπλέκεται και επηρεάζει τον οργανισμό.

Ποιοι κινδυνεύουν περισσότερο και γιατί

Σύμφωνα με τη διεθνή βιβλιογραφία:

* Αναίτιους παθολογικά πονοκεφάλους έχουν συνήθως οι άνθρωποι που είναι πολύ αυστηροί με τον εαυτό τους και τελειομανείς.
* Προβλήματα στο στομάχι (χωρίς ιατρική – παθολογική αιτία) ή στο έντερο συνήθως συνδέονται με τον φόβο ή και την ανασφάλεια.
* Ο έντονος, συχνός, καταπιεσμένος και συσσωρευμένος θυμός συχνά προκαλεί ψυχοσωματικά συμπτώματα και είναι γενικότερα δείκτης δυσφορίας και μειωμένης λειτουργικότητας του ατόμου.

Πού οδηγεί ο φόβος και ο θυμός

Οταν κάποιος νιώθει έντονο φόβο, θυμό ή ανησυχία μπορεί να αναπτύξει ταχυκαρδία, αίσθημα αδιαθεσίας (ναυτία), τρέμουλο, εφίδρωση, πονοκέφαλο, έναν «κόμπο» στο στομάχι, γρήγορη αναπνοή.

Εκφράστε το συναίσθημα

Η έκφραση των συναισθημάτων είναι το «κλειδί» της ψυχοσωματικής ισορροπίας. Οταν καταπνίγουμε τον θυμό, την οργή ή τη θλίψη, τότε αυτά είναι πολύ πιθανό να αναδυθούν με τη μορφή ενός σωματικού συμπτώματος.
* Είναι σημαντικό να βλέπουμε τα πράγματα στις σωστές τους διαστάσεις. Δεν είναι λίγες οι φορές που χάνουμε την ψυχραιμία μας και μεγαλοποιούμε τα ζητήματα που αντιμετωπίζουμε, γεγονός που δεν μας βοηθά να αντιμετωπίσουμε τις καταστάσεις με δημιουργικό και αποτελεσματικό τρόπο.
* Η σωματική άσκηση μπορεί να συμβάλει στην αποφόρτιση από το στρες και στη βελτίωση της διάθεσης. Το ίδιο μπορούμε να επιτύχουμε και φροντίζοντας να εκπληρώσουμε έναν στόχο που έχουμε αφήσει σε εκκρεμότητα για μεγάλο χρονικό διάστημα ή βελτιώνοντας τη σχέση μας με ανθρώπους που είναι σημαντικοί στη ζωή μας.

Αγαπήστε, αποδεχθείτε και βελτιώστε τον εαυτό σας 

* Αναγνωρίστε με ποιον τρόπο επηρεάζει το άγχος τον οργανισμό σας.
* Μειώστε τα δυσάρεστα γεγονότα – απομακρυνθείτε από τοξικούς ανθρώπους και καταστάσεις.
* Αντικαταστήστε δυσλειτουργικές συμπεριφορές με άλλες, πιο βοηθητικές.
* Επικοινωνήστε έστω και διαδικτυακά με ανθρώπους που θέλετε και νιώθετε καλά και ευχάριστα μαζί τους. Μοιραστείτε όλα αυτά τα αρνητικά συναισθήματα και αντικαταστήστε τα με άλλα, πιο θετικά και ευχάριστα.
* Οραματιστείτε το μέλλον θετικά και θέστε στόχους μικρούς και μεγαλύτερους.
* Βρείτε το προσωπικό σας νόημα, τι είναι και τι όχι σημαντικό για εσάς και εργαστείτε προς αυτή τη κατεύθυνση.
* Ζητήστε τη συνδρομή και τη βοήθεια που χρειάζεστε και διεκδικήστε μια ευτυχισμένη και υγιή ψυχοσωματικά ζωή.

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«Πριν αποφασίσουμε ποια θεραπεία θα ακολουθήσουμε για το σώμα, πρέπει πρώτα να έχουμε θεραπεύσει το τραύμα της ψυχής» είπε τόσο εμπνευσμένα και ρεαλιστικά ο Ιπποκράτης

Από τη Βάσω Μακαρώνη, κλινική ψυχολόγο, ψυχοθεραπεύτρια.

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Ψυχολογία

Τι θα κρατήσουμε από το λοκντάουν στη ζωή μετά

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Τρέχαμε για να προλάβουμε και δεν είχαμε χρόνο για τίποτε και ξαφνικά ο χρόνος πάγωσε. Τρομαγμένοι, κλειστήκαμε στα σπίτια μας… Κι έτσι μαγειρέψαμε, κοιμηθήκαμε, είδαμε ταινίες, φάγαμε με την οικογένειά μας, ξεκαθαρίσαμε τις ντουλάπες μας, πειραματιστήκαμε με την κηπουρική, το μακιγιάζ, τις χειροτεχνίες… Τι θα κρατήσουμε από όλα αυτά;

Ο μόνος τρόπος για να περάσει κάποιος το λοκντάουν –όπως καταλάβαμε όλοι μας, χάρη στην εμπειρία μας τον τελευταίο χρόνο – είναι το να αντιμετωπίζει την κάθε μέρα χωριστά χωρίς να σκέφτεται το αύριο ή το μέλλον. Είναι μία συνθήκη δύσκολη, σκληρή, τρομακτική… Τώρα που όμως αρχίζουμε σιγά-σιγά και βλέπουμε το φως στην άκρη αυτού του τόσο σκοτεινού, μεγάλου και αποπνικτικού τούνελ αναρωτιόμαστε αν εκτός από όλα όσα χάσαμε αυτή τη χρονιά, που είναι πολλά και για κάποιους περισσότερα, υπάρχουν και κάποια που κερδίσαμε και τα οποία θα μπορέσουμε να πάρουμε μαζί μας όταν η ζωή μας γυρίσει τελικά στην προηγούμενή της κατάσταση.

Θα προσπαθήσω κι ας αποτύχει

Αν μου έλεγε κάποιος πριν από έναν χρόνο ότι φέτος θα μπορούσα χωρίς δυσκολία να φτιάξω σουφλέ σοκολάτας θα σκεφτόμουν ότι δεν με ξέρει καλά. Πόσο δε μάλλον αν μου έλεγε ότι εκτός από σουφλέ σοκολάτας θα μπορούσα πολύ άνετα να φτιάξω γαλακτομπούρεκο, εκμέκ, μπακλαβά, τάρτα μήλου (με δικό μου φύλλο), οποιαδήποτε πίτα τραβούσε η όρεξή μου, παστίτσιο, γεμιστά και άλλα πολλά. Και δεν είμαι η μόνη. Δεν λέω ότι πριν την πανδημία δεν μαγείρευα. Μαγείρευα. Αλλά δεν τολμούσα. Δεν είχα την πολυτέλεια του χρόνου αλλά ούτε και την τόλμη να διαλέξω μία συνταγή και, σαν να ξεκινούσα ένα καινούργιο άγνωστο ταξίδι, να την ολοκληρώσω. Και τότε ήρθε η καραντίνα και μας έκλεισε στα σπίτια μας, δίνοντάς μας την πολυτέλεια του προσωπικού χρόνου και παράλληλα τη διάθεση να διερευνήσουμε και να τεστάρουμε τις δυνατότητές μας. Και κάπως έτσι μαγειρέψαμε χωρίς να φοβόμαστε… Και όχι μόνο.

Κωδικός 6

Κανείς δεν εκτιμά την ελευθερία του αν δεν τη χάσει πρώτα. Κάπως έτσι έγινε και με τη σχέση μας με τη φύση, τη βόλτα στην παραλία, την άθληση στην εξοχή, το περπάτημα στο βουνό. Μόλις χάσαμε την ευκαιρία να μπορούμε να κάνουμε όλα τα υπόλοιπα στραφήκαμε στο πιο απλό, στο αρχέγονο και παράλληλα στο πιο αναγκαίο: Στην επαφή με την ομορφιά, την ενέργεια και την αισιοδοξία που μας δίνει το να βρισκόμαστε στη φύση. Κάποιοι μετακόμισαν στην επαρχία, άλλοι έκαναν τεράστιους περιπάτους με τα πόδια ή με ποδήλατο, άλλοι έτρεξαν, κολύμπησαν, φύτεψαν κήπους και μπαλκόνια. Αν χρειάζεται ένα και μόνο πράγμα να πάρουμε μαζί μας από τα όσα μάθαμε και κάναμε στο λοκντάουν, όταν η ζωή μας επιστρέψει στους φρενήρεις ρυθμούς της παλιάς μας καθημερινότητας, θα πρέπει να είναι η αγάπη και η σχέση που δημιουργήσαμε με τη φύση.

Σήμερα θα δουλέψω από το σπίτι

Η παραγωγικότητα των όσων δούλεψαν από το σπίτι στη διάρκεια αυτής της χρονιάς, όπου ο κορωνοϊός κυριάρχησε στη ζωή μας, αποδεικνύει ότι – όταν όλα γυρίσουν στους προηγούμενους ρυθμούς και επιστρέψουμε στα γραφεία μας – το να δουλεύουμε έστω κάποιες ημέρες από το σπίτι μπορεί να αποδώσει. Οσο για όλους όσοι νοσταλγήσαμε την κίνηση στον δρόμο προς τη δουλειά αλλά και τη συναναστροφή στο γραφείο με τους συναδέλφους μας, είναι σίγουρο ότι όταν ξαναγυρίσουμε στις προηγούμενες συνθήκες σύντομα θα νοσταλγήσουμε την εργασία από το σπίτι, έστω και περιστασιακά.

Ολοι μαζί στο τραπέζι

Ποιοι εργαζόμενοι είχαν την ευκαιρία να τρώνε με την οικογένειά τους συχνότερα από μία φορά την εβδομάδα ή τις 15 μέρες; Στη διάρκεια της καραντίνας είχαμε περισσότερο χρόνο με όσους κλείνει η πόρτα του σπιτιού μας με αποτέλεσμα να περάσουμε χρόνο μαζί, να μαγειρέψουμε μαζί, να παίξουμε, να τσακωθούμε και σίγουρα να φάμε. Ακόμα κι αν κάποια στιγμή βαρεθήκαμε, πράγμα λογικό και αναμενόμενο, δεν θα πρέπει να ξεχάσουμε να πάρουμε μαζί μας τη σημασία του χρόνου που περνάμε με τους ανθρώπους μας ακόμα και κάνοντας πράγματα τετριμμένα και αναμενόμενα, όπως το φαγητό στο ίδιο τραπέζι.

Δικαιούμαι να ξαπλώσω στον καναπέ να δω ταινία

Θυμάμαι ότι αφού γέννησα τον πρώτο μου γιο σκέφτηκα ότι πέρασε για μένα ανεπιστρεπτί η – προ παιδιών – ζωή, όπου «δικαιούμουν», χωρίς καμία τύψη, ενοχή ή εκκρεμότητα να ξαπλώσω στον καναπέ του σαλονιού και να απολαύσω μία, δύο ή και περισσότερες ταινίες. Αλλά ακόμα και όσο τα παιδιά μου μεγάλωναν εγώ και πάλι δεν είχα χρόνο…

Μέχρι που τον Μάρτιο του 2020 ξαφνικά ο χρόνος μού χαρίστηκε και αφού τακτοποίησα τα πάντα στο σπίτι μου, έλυσα όσες εκκρεμότητες μπορούσα και τα έβαλα όλα στη θέση τους, χαλάρωσα, αφού δεν μπορούσα να κάνω κι αλλιώς, και… τεμπέλιασα. Ο,τι κι αν σημαίνει η τεμπελιά για τον καθένα μας, όπως το να κοιμηθούμε περισσότερο το πρωί, να απολαύσουμε μία ή και δύο ταινίες, να διαβάσουμε το βιβλίο μας στη μέση της ημέρας, να ακούσουμε μουσική, να φτιάξουμε τα νύχια μας, ακόμα και να κοιτάμε το ταβάνι, αλλά όλα αυτά χωρίς καμία απολύτως τύψη ή ενοχή.

Αυτό το δικαίωμά μας στην τεμπελιά το οποίο έχουμε συνηθίσει να στερούμε από τον εαυτό μας αλλά και από τα παιδιά μας, χρειάζεται να το κρατήσουμε και μετά το λοκντάουν. Οταν η ζωή θα ξαναγίνει βιαστική και όλοι θα «πρέπει να είμαστε συνεχώς απασχολημένοι δημιουργικά και παραγωγικά». Τότε θα έχει αξία να θυμηθούμε ή να μην ξεχάσουμε πόσο χρειαζόμαστε αυτή την ξεκούραση χωρίς ενοχές και εκκρεμότητες να καραδοκούν για να μας ενοχλήσουν όσο εμείς ρεμβάζουμε απολαμβάνοντας τη ζωή, που δυστυχώς ή ευτυχώς δεν είναι τίποτε άλλο από το τώρα.

Τρέμω την ώρα που θα βοηθήσω τα παιδιά μου με το διάβασμα

Πριν τον κορωνοϊό το να βοηθήσω τα παιδιά μου με το διάβασμα μού φαινόταν τόσο δύσκολο όσο οι εξετάσεις για το πανεπιστήμιο. Αυτά να δυσανασχετούν κι εγώ να θυμώνω, να απογοητεύομαι και να απελπίζομαι. Μέχρι που χρειάστηκε όχι απλά να βοηθάω με τα μαθήματα αλλά και να υποκαταστήσω τον δάσκαλό τους κατά κάποιον τρόπο.

Και τότε συνειδητοποίησα ότι για να μπορέσω να τους βοηθήσω πραγματικά χρειαζόταν να κατανοήσω τη θέση τους: Τόσον καιρό μακριά από τους φίλους τους, τον δάσκαλό τους, πίσω από μία οθόνη να προσπαθούν να μάθουν καινούργια πράγματα. Και κάπως έτσι νιώθοντας κατανόηση για τη δύσκολη νέα κατάσταση στην οποία βρίσκονταν τα παιδιά μου αλλά κι εγώ μαζί τους, κατάφερα να τα βοηθήσω ουσιαστικά. Αυτή την κατανόηση θέλω να πάρω μαζί μου μετά το λοκντάουν. Για τα παιδιά μου, για όλους τους φίλους και τους αγαπημένους μου αλλά και για εμένα την ίδια.

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