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Δεν μπορώ να κοιμηθώ χωρίς εσένα, αγάπη μου…

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Της Φλώρας Σπανού.

Κι η νύχτα ήρθε…
Άλλη μια μέρα έφτασε στο τέλος της. Βάζω τις πιτζάμες μου και ξαπλώνω στο κρεβάτι. Ο καιρός πια έχει κρυώσει, έξω έχει αρχίσει να βρέχει μα εγώ ούτε κρυώνω ούτε φοβάμαι πια, γιατί ξέρω πως σε λίγο θα έρθεις δίπλα μου και κάτω από τα σκεπάσματα θα με πάρεις μια τεράστια αγκαλιά.
Και θα νιώσω πλήρης κι ευτυχισμένη.

Γιατί κάθε βράδυ, έχω την ανάγκη να νιώθω την παρουσία σου δίπλα μου, να με αγκαλιάζεις και να σε αισθάνομαι, το σώμα σου να τυλίγει το δικό μου. Θέλω να νιώθω τη ζεστασιά σου να με περιβάλλει, το άγγιγμα σου να με κοιμίζει και το γλυκό ψιθύρισμα σου στο αυτί να με νανουρίζει…
Ναι, αλήθεια στο λέω, όσο παράλογο και αν σου ακούγεται.
Δεν μπορώ να κοιμηθώ χωρίς εσένα.
Μου έχεις γίνει απαραίτητος. Όχι δεν είναι απλά μια συνήθεια, ούτε η ανάγκη του να μην είμαι μόνη. Το θέμα είναι απλό, πολύ πιο απλό.
Σε αγαπώ. Ναι, σ’ αγαπώ .
Κι ας μη στο λέω συχνά κι ας έρχονται μέρες που είμαι όλο μούτρα και γκρίνια κι ας σου φωνάζω που δεν είσαι τακτικός με τις δουλειές του σπιτιού, γιατί απλά είμαι υποχόνδρια και τα θέλω όλα στην εντέλεια. Κι ας ξέρω ότι τις περισσότερες φορές έχω άδικο κι ας θυμώνω μαζί σου δίχως να φταις κι ας τα ακούς εσύ για τους άλλους κι ας είμαι υπερβολική σε κάποια πράγματα.
Ναι, τα αναγνωρίζω όλα, τα λάθη μου, τις παραξενιές μου, τις μικροπρέπειες μου. Μάλιστα είναι ώρες που απορώ κι εγώ η ίδια με τον εαυτό μου πώς με αντέχεις. Όμως, όταν έρθει το βράδυ θέλω να σε νιώσω πλάι μου…
Αλλιώς δεν μπορώ να κοιμηθώ.

Μπορεί να νυστάζω.
Υπερβολικά.
Ήταν μια μέρα δύσκολη κι η σημερινή, όμως, παρόλα αυτά, δεν μπορώ να κοιμηθώ. Τα μάτια κλείνουν και προσπαθώ να τα ελέγξω. Θέλω προτού παραδοθώ στην αγκαλιά του Μορφέα, να αισθανθώ τη δύναμη της δικιάς σου αγκαλιάς . Πώς την λαχταράω κάθε βράδυ να ‘ξερες! Όταν όλα έχουν ησυχάσει και το μόνο που ακούγεται είναι οι ανάσες μας, η μία πλάι στην άλλη. Τι πιο όμορφο και αληθινό; Δύο κορμιά το ένα πλάι στο άλλο, να ζεσταίνονται με την αγάπη τους τις κρύες νύχτες του χειμώνα και τα χρόνια να περνούν κι εκείνα να παραμένουν αγκαλιασμένα όπως την πρώτη τους φορά.
Δυο ψυχές σε ένα σώμα.

Μπορεί να σου γκρινιάζω, μπορεί να σε μαλώνω, μπορεί να σε διώχνω όταν πας να με φιλήσεις, όταν πας να με αγγίξεις, γιατί μπορεί να έχω τα νεύρα μου, γιατί απλά εκείνη την ώρα έχουν μαζευτεί τόσα πολλά μέσα μου που μόνο σε εσένα μπορώ να τα πω. Γιατί απλά εσύ είσαι ο άνθρωπός μου.
Γιατί μόνο σε εσένα έχω το θάρρος να φωνάξω, να ουρλιάξω, να ελευθερώσω την καρδιά μου από όλα εκείνα που την βαραίνουν. Μπορεί να με ενοχλεί, που αφήνεις τα ρούχα σου επάνω στον καναπέ, που δεν βγάζεις τα παπούτσια σου όταν μπαίνεις στο σπίτι, που δεν πετάς τα σκουπίδια όταν φεύγεις, που πρέπει να σου λέω δέκα φορές κάτι για να το κάνεις, που ίσως είμαι υπερβολικά γκρινιάρα και ότι και αν κάνεις μου φταίει.

Όμως, όταν η μέρα τελειώνει και το σκοτάδι καλύπτει τα πάντα, τότε νοιώθω την ανάγκη να καθίσω δίπλα σου στον καναπέ και να ξαπλώσω στα πόδια σου. Να μου χαϊδέψεις τα μαλλιά και να νιώσω πώς είμαι ένα μικρό κοριτσάκι, που δεν έχει καμία έγνοια για το αύριο, πως όλα είναι απλά και τακτοποιημένα, πως όλοι οι φόβοι έχουν εξαφανιστεί, πως τίποτα δεν υπάρχει για να ταράξει αυτή την ηρεμία και τη γαλήνη που νοιώθω όταν είμαι μαζί σου.

Υπήρξαν τόσα κρύα βράδια, στο παρελθόν, αλησμόνητα, τόσες κρύες νύχτες κι ας είχε έξω τριάντα οχτώ βαθμούς. Ήταν τότε που φοβόμουν, που απελπιζόμουν, που έκλαιγα, γιατί ένοιωθα μόνη δίχως μια ζεστή παρουσία δίπλα μου. Και κάθε βράδυ, ονειρευόμουν, ευχόμουν και ήλπιζα να είχα κάποιον κοντά μου.
Όχι , έναν οποιονδήποτε, αλλά τον έναν, εκείνον που θα με έπαιρνε αγκαλιά και όλα τα άλλα δεν θα με ένοιαζαν. Ευχόμουν να ένοιωθα τη ζεστή του ανάσα , το απαλό του άγγιγμα στην πλάτη, το γλυκό του φιλί στα μαλλιά μου, την φωνή του να μου λέει
Σ’ αγαπώ»…
Τόσο απλά, τόσο ζεστά, τόσο αληθινά..

Και το όνειρο μου πραγματοποιήθηκε, γιατί ένα βράδυ ξύπνησα κλαίγοντας από έναν εφιάλτη κι εσύ ήσουν εκεί, δίπλα μου, με κράτησες σφιχτά και μου είπες, μη φοβάσαι αγάπη μου εγώ είμαι εδώ, μη φοβάσαι τίποτα.
Για αυτό κι εγώ θέλω να σου πω ένα μεγάλο ευχαριστώ, που είσαι εκεί δίπλα μου να με αγαπάς, να με στηρίζεις και κάθε βράδυ να με παίρνεις αγκαλιά.

Σ’ αγαπώ…

 Υ.Σ. Εμείς οι άνθρωποι είμαστε τόσο αγνώμονες, ευχόμαστε να μας συμβεί κάτι καλό και όταν το βρούμε μόλις αυτό το κάτι γίνει δεδομένο, το βάζουμε στην άκρη. Πρέπει να είμαστε ευγνώμονες για ότι καλό μας έχει συμβεί, και να το εκτιμάμε, να δείχνουμε στους ανθρώπους που έχουμε κοντά μας συνεχώς και με κάθε τρόπο την αγάπη μας. Μην περιμένουμε να είναι μια ιδιαίτερη μέρα για να το κάνουμε, γιατί κάθε μέρα που μας ξημερώνει είναι μία και μοναδική..

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Σχέσεις

Όσο αφήνεις το παρελθόν να σε στοιχειώνει, τόσο λιγότερο θα απολαμβάνεις τη ζωή σου

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Όταν σκεφτόμαστε συνεχώς πράγματα από το παρελθόν μας, είτε αναπολώντας τα, είτε αναθεωρώντας τα, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε μία παγίδα που μας κρατάει πίσω. Δεν δίνουμε αξία στο παρόν μας και έτσι δεν μπορούμε να χαρούμε τις εμπειρίες που βιώνουμε καθημερινά.

Η ζωή δεν είναι ένα ημερολόγιο γεγονότων που χρειάζεται ξεφύλλισμα από έναν παθητικό αναγνώστη, αλλά μία αρένα δραστηριοτήτων που πάντα έχει κάτι να μας τραβήξει το ενδιαφέρον. Το βέλος της ζωής δεν δείχνει ποτέ προς τα πίσω, δείχνει πάντα μπροστά.Έτσι, είναι ανώφελο κάποιος να κολλάει τη σκέψη του στο παρελθόν ή στο μέλλον σα να μην υπάρχει το “εδώ” και το “τώρα”.

Φυσικά, οι αναμνήσεις είναι εγγενές μέρος της ζωής και συχνά αναπόφευκτες. Είναι ένας τρόπος να μένουμε κοντά στα πρόσωπα που αγαπάμε και σε όσα είμαστε παθιασμένοι. Είναι το συστατικό της προσωπικής μας ταυτότητας και του χαρακτήρα μας. Είναι οι ρίζες βαθιά μέσα στον πυρήνα του εαυτού μας.

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“Να ζείτε την κάθε μέρα της ζωής σας”

Η ζωή θα ήταν αδύνατη αν θυμόμασταν όλα όσα μας έχουν συμβεί

Ο Άλμπερτ Αϊνστάιν σε μία συνέντευξή του στο παρελθόν είχε ερωτηθεί τι κάνει όταν του έρχεται μία νέα ιδέα. Αν για παράδειγμα την καταγράφει σε ένα χαρτί ή σε κάποιο συγκεκριμένο σημειωματάριο. Απάντησε αποφασιστικά πως «Όταν έχω μια νέα καταπληκτική ιδέα, δεν τη ξεχνώ εύκολα». Και αυτή είναι η αλήθεια. Όταν κάτι μας συγκινεί σχεδόν αδύνατο να το ξεχάσουμε.

Έτσι, θυμόμαστε όσα είναι πραγματικά σημαντικά για μας και μας συναρπάζουν, γιατί ενεργοποιούνται οι περιοχές και οι νευρωνικές συνδέσεις του εγκεφάλου που είναι υπεύθυνες για τη διατήρηση αυτής της μνήμης.

Το πρόβλημα ανακύπτει όταν ο εγκέφαλος διατηρεί έντονα αναμνήσεις που θα πρέπει να ξεχάσουμε, γιατί δεν μας κάνουν καλό. Και ακριβώς αυτή η σήμανση συγκεκριμένων αναμνήσεων που επιθυμούμε να σβήσουμε είναι ο μηχανισμός που τις κρατά ζωντανές στο μυαλό μας.

Όπως πρεσβεύει και η μέθοδος της αντίστροφης ψυχολογίας, η διαδικασία της λήθης ξεκινά όταν αντίστοιχες καινούργιες μνήμες αντικαθιστούν τις παλιές μη επιθυμητές. Έτσι στο τέλος, όταν το μυαλό ανακτά μνήμες του παρελθόντος, έχει κάτι πιο φρέσκο να φέρει μπροστά μας!

“Πρέπει να ζουμε στο παρόν, να αναβαθμίζουμε τον εαυτό μας σε κάθε ευκαιρία που παρουσιάζεται μπροστά μας, να κερδίζουμε την αιωνιότητα κάθε στιγμή. Μόνο οι ανόητοι κάθονται στο νησί που κρύβει το θησαυρό κοιτώντας από μακριά άλλες παραλίες. Όπως δεν υπάρχουν άλλα νησιά για μας, έτσι υπάρχει μόνο μία ζωή που καλούμαστε να ζήσουμε.”

Η ανάμνηση μοιάζει με άρωμα που κρατά για πολύ

Οι απολαύσεις είναι λουλούδια που ανθίζουν όταν ζούμε τη ζωή μας, την παίρνουμε στα χέρια μας και τη γευόμαστε. Οι ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις είναι εκείνες που συνέβησαν τις στιγμές που έπρεπε και που δεν ξεχείλωσαν πέρα από τα όριά τους μη αφήνοντας να γευτούμε καινούργιες στιγμές.

Δεν θυμόμαστε γεγονότα στην ολότητά τους παρά μόνο συγκεκριμένες στιγμές, γι’ αυτό λοιπόν θα πρέπει να έχουμε βιώματα και εμπειρίες ξανά και ξανά. Ο πλούτος της ζωής βρίσκεται στις αναμνήσεις που συνεχίζουμε να κάνουμε και επιλέγουμε να κρατάμε. Μερικές φορές είναι δύσκολο να τολμήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες, ειδικά αν είμαστε κολλημένοι και περιχαρακωμένοι στη ζώνη άνεσης μας. Ωστόσο, αν θέλουμε να έχουμε ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις θα πρέπει να ζούμε μία έντονη ζωή.

Μολονότι, έχουμε ένα απτό και ικανό φυσικό σώμα και με τις αισθήσεις μας μπορούμε να έρθουμε σε επαφή με το εξωτερικό κόσμο και να τον καθορίσουμε όπως θέλουμε, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε όσα μας λέει το μυαλό μας και η εσωτερική μας φωνή. Παρ’ όλο αυτό, θα πρέπει να πάρουμε μια απόφαση. Είτε Θα περάσουμε τη ζωή μας αναμασώντας όσα μας συνέβησαν στο παρελθόν και ενθυμούμενοι τις άσχημες εμπειρίες που είχαμε, είτε θα πάρουμε τον έλεγχο της ζωής μας, θα ζήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες και φυσικά θα ελέγξουμε τα συναισθήματά μας. Μόνο αν τολμήσουμε κάτι τέτοιο, θα μπορέσουμε να απολαύσουμε την ύπαρξή μας.

Το κλειδί για να βιώνουμε περισσότερο είναι να σκεφτόμαστε και να αναπολούμε το παρελθόν λιγότερο και να περιορίζουμε τις προσδοκίες που περιμένουμε να υλοποιηθούν στο μέλλον. Να αποδεχτούμε αυτά που έχουμε στο εδώ και στο τώρα και τίποτα περισσότερο. Να ζούμε τις στιγμές μας εμποδίζοντας τους εαυτούς μας να αποπροσανατολιστούν από τις παγίδες που βάζει το μυαλό.

Εν τέλει, ο προορισμός μας είναι να ζήσουμε, όμως καταλήγουμε να ζούμε ελάχιστα. Είναι η ώρα να αντιστρέψουμε αυτόν τον κανόνα. Η ευτυχία δεν βρίσκεται σε άλλο τόπο και χρόνο, αλλά στο παρόν στο εδώ και στο τώρα. θυμάστε πάντα.

Πηγές: share24.gr / Spirit Alive 
Εικόνα: Johnny Palacios Hidalgo paint
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Τάσος Λειβαδίτης: «Μάθε να αγαπάς αυτούς που δεν πληγώνουν την αγάπη»

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Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από τα δύσκολα. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που σε πλήγωναν εύκολα, που δεν δίσταζαν να σου πουν όχι, που δεν σε φρόντιζαν όσο θα ήθελες. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που ενώ γνώριζες ότι δεν είσαι ευτυχισμένος, ευτυχισμένη, παρέμενες και το ονόμαζες σχέση.

Παλιά έλεγες ότι αξίζεις περισσότερα, σταδιακά όμως σταμάτησες να το λες. Τον ξέχασες τον εαυτό σου. Δικαιολογούσες όλες τις συμπεριφορές των άλλων. Έμαθες να εφευρίσκεις δικαιολογίες για όλες τις συμπεριφορές, για όλα τα λόγια, για αυτά που σε πλήγωναν. Έμαθες να λες ότι γίνεσαι πιο δυνατός, πιο δυνατή έτσι.

Έμαθες να προσπαθείς να σώσεις, ακόμα και αυτά που δεν σώζονται. Προσπαθούσες για χρόνια να πείσεις τον εαυτό σου ότι έτσι είναι οι σχέσεις. Δύσκολες, πρέπει πάντα να καταλαβαίνεις τον άλλον, απαιτούν μόνιμα συμβιβασμούς και μόνιμα έπρεπε να προσφέρεις εσύ.

Να σου πω όμως κάτι; Δεν είναι έτσι οι σχέσεις. Έμαθες να αγαπάς όσους πληγώνουν την αγάπη, όσους πλήγωναν εσένα. Ονόμαζες το λίγο πολύ και πάντα δικαιολογούσες. Πάντα έλεγες ότι καταλαβαίνεις τους άλλους και ότι στην αγάπη πρέπει πάντα να ακούμε. Να σου πω όμως κάτι;

Δεν είναι αυτό αγάπη. Στην αγάπη προσφέρουν και οι δύο, νιώθουν και οι δύο, ακούνε και οι δύο, φροντίζουν και θαυμάζουν και οι δύο, ρωτάνε και οι δύο, ενδιαφέρονται και οι δύο, είναι παρόντες και οι δύο, επιδιώκουν και οι δύο, προσφέρουν και οι δύο, θέλουν τη σχέση έμπρακτα και οι δύο.

Δεν πληγώνουν. Δεν μειώνουν. Δεν παραμελούν. Δεν αγνοούν. Δείχνουν, με λίγα ή με πολλά, δεν έχει σημασία. Σέβονται. Και είναι τόσο όμορφο να σε σέβονται, να σε θαυμάζουν, να σου λένε πόσο όμορφος είσαι ή πόσο όμορφο είναι αυτό που έφτιαξες.

Σταμάτησε να δικαιολογείς και να αρκείσαι στα λίγα. Φρόντισε τον εαυτό σου και αγάπησέ τον μέσα από τις επιλογές σου. Μην περιμένεις μία γιορτή για να σου δείξει ο άλλος αν σε αγαπάει. Αγάπη σημαίνει να σου δείχνω καθημερινά ότι αξίζω εγώ να είμαι δίπλα σου.

Ελένη Σολταρίδου – enallaktikidrasi.com

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Δε κλαίω γιατί είμαι αδύναμος! Κλαίω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός!

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Ναι κλαίω. Κλαίω γιατί δεν είναι «ντροπή», επειδή δεν «εκτίθεμαι» όταν το κάνω όπως εσύ υποστηρίζεις. Κλαίω γιατί τα χω καλά με τον εαυτό μου κι έχω μάθει να μην τον καταπιέζω μόνο και μόνο για να μπορώ να εντάσσομαι στην κάθε κοινωνική νόρμα που θέλει τους «δυνατούς» αναίσθητους.

Κλαίω γιατί δεν είμαι αναίσθητος και επιλέγω να μην μηδενίζω τον ανθρώπινο συναισθηματισμό και την πηγαία δύναμη ξεσπάσματος που έχω μέσα μου και που όσο κι αν εσένα σου φαίνεται περίεργο, θέλει πολλά κουράγια να καταφέρεις να βγάλεις προς τα έξω.

Γιατί όταν αυτή η δύναμη απελευθερώνεται μένει εκεί για να σε ξυπνήσει, να σε κινητοποιήσει και να κατευθύνει την συνείδησή σου εκεί που έχεις ξεχάσει πώς να πάς.

Εκεί που είσαι άνθρωπος και εκφράζεσαι με ειλικρίνεια και θάρρος, όχι απέναντι στους άλλους αλλά απέναντι στον ίδιο σου τον εαυτό.

Εκεί που κοιτάς κατάματα την ψυχή σου και της ζητάς παραπονεμένα το λόγο που σ’ αφήνει να ζεις όπως σου λένε οι άλλοι. Εκεί που ο πόνος, η συγκίνηση, η αγανάκτηση , η χαρά είναι και πάλι μέρος του εαυτού σου κι όχι απαγορευμένες, ξεχασμένες καταστάσεις του είναι σου.

Και ναι έφτασα εκεί. Και ήταν δύσκολο να αντιμετωπίσω τον εαυτό μου, μάλλον, ήταν δύσκολο να τον βρω γιατί συνεχώς τον έχανα ψάχνοντάς τον πίσω από καλώς δημιουργημένα, κοινωνικώς αποδεκτά προσωπεία.

Κι όταν τον βρήκα επιτέλους φοβήθηκα, κι άρχισα να τρέχω με πανικό για να μην συνειδητοποιήσω άλλα. Και μακριά από αυτόν έτρεχα κι από όλους τους άλλους, που μου έδιναν ρηχά διδάγματα επιβίωσης και επέμεναν πως είμαι αδύναμος και πως πρέπει να «σκληρύνω» και να κρύψω τον εαυτό μου για να επιβιώσω.

Στο τέλος όμως σταμάτησα. Γιατί ήταν μάταιο και γιατί κουράστηκα. Σταμάτησα αποφασιστικά, γύρισα προς τα πίσω, είδα τον εαυτό μου, του χαμογέλασα, τον πήρα αγκαλιά και μαζί πήραμε τον δρόμο του γυρισμού. Και μαζί ήμασταν πιο δυνατοί απέναντι στους άλλους. Και δυσκολευτήκαμε και συναντήσαμε εμπόδια αλλά δεν είχε πλέον σημασία γιατί είμαι πλέον ζωντανός! Κι όταν αισθάνομαι το κάνω με όλη την έννοια της λέξης!

Κι αν θέλω να κλάψω θα το κάνω, ακόμη κι αν είναι με μια μικρή λεπτομέρεια που με συγκίνησε και βελτίωσε ολιγόλεπτα την βαρετή καθημερινότητα που έχετε δημιουργήσει, και που ευτυχώς πλέον βιώνω ως απλός παρατηρητής. Και ευτυχώς δεν είμαι μόνος μου. Υπάρχουν κι άλλοι σαν κι εμένα και θα υπάρξουν ακόμη περισσότεροι.

Θα κλάψω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός και αν ο λόγος δεν σας αρκεί και θέλετε κάτι πιο «λογικό», θα κλάψω για σας και τον χαμένο σας συναισθηματισμό. Όχι για να σας θρηνήσω αλλά για να σας κάνω να θυμηθείτε τι θα πει «είμαι ζωντανός».

Σας χαιρετώ,

Ένας ζωντανός άνθρωπος

Πηγή: have2read
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