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Έτσι είναι οι άνθρωποι, θα μου πεις, το έχει η φύση τους από μικρά παιδιά.

Βλέπουν ένα παιχνίδι και ξαφνικά το θέλουν τόσο πολύ που κοιμούνται και ξυπνάνε με την έγνοια του. Το χρειάζονται πάση θυσία και θα κάνουν τα πάντα για να το αποκτήσουν· θα το ζητήσουν απ’ τη μαμά και τον μπαμπά, θα γράψουν γράμμα στον Άγιο Βασίλη να του αφηγηθούν τον πόνο τους, θα πούνε κάλαντα, θα φέρουν τον κόσμο ανάποδα για λίγο έξτρα χαρτζιλίκι μέχρι να το κάνουν δικό τους.

Κι όταν το κάνουν δικό τους, θα το περιφέρουν εδώ κι εκεί με καμάρι, θα κοιμούνται μαζί του και θα ξυπνάνε γεμάτα όρεξη για παιχνίδι. Για ένα-δυο μήνες. Γιατί μετά το παιχνίδι χάνει τη λάμψη του, γίνεται μέρος της καθημερινότητάς τους, δεν τους κινεί πια το ενδιαφέρον, το βαριούνται. Πρόσεξε όμως· αυτό ισχύει μέχρι να το χάσουν.

Περνάνε τα χρόνια και ξεδιάντροπα κάνουμε το ίδιο με τους ανθρώπους μας. Όπως κάνεις κι εσύ μ’ εκείνη. Λες δεν έχεις χρόνο, λες πιέζεσαι, λες σε κουράζει. Κι όλα αυτά που κάποτε σου μοιάζανε χαριτωμένα, τώρα σε ενοχλούν. Έλα λοιπόν να σου πω μερικούς σίγουρους τρόπους για να τη χάσεις, μη σου έρθει και ξαφνικό. Γιατί θα τη χάσεις, αυτό είναι το μόνο σίγουρο.

Θα τη χάσεις αν της λες πως είναι όμορφη μα δεν την κάνεις να αισθάνεται έτσι. Αν την κάνεις να ζηλεύει τις άλλες γυναίκες αντί να κάνεις τις άλλες γυναίκες να ζηλεύουν αυτή. Αν τα κομπλιμέντα σου είναι χειριστικά για να ζητιανεύει την επιβεβαίωσή σου κι όχι για να νιώθει δυνατή, αν η αφοσίωσή σου σε αυτήν εξαρτάται απ’ τις ευκαιρίες που σου παρουσιάζονται. Θα τη χάσεις γιατί γίνεσαι σαν όλους τους άλλους, που λένε πολλά και κάνουν ελάχιστα, γιατί είσαι προβλέψιμος.

Αφού αυτό θέλεις, να φύγει, συνέχισε, είσαι σε πολύ καλό δρόμο. Μην προσπαθείς να νιώσεις τις σιωπές της, να καταλάβεις τι την πείραξε, παράτα τα στο πρώτο «τίποτα» που θα σου απαντήσει όταν τη ρωτήσεις τι έχει. Πρόσβαλε τη νοημοσύνη της με ηλίθια ψέματα και φθηνές δικαιολογίες που προστατεύουν εσένα κι εκθέτουν αυτήν, κάνε την να νιώθει ανεπαρκής στο πλάι σου ενώ μέσα σου ξέρεις πως τη δική σου ανεπάρκεια θάβεις, έτσι άτσαλα όπως κάνουν τα σκυλιά με το κόκκαλό τους.

Κορόιδεψε τα όνειρά της, κάνε τη να νιώθει ηλίθια που κάποια μέρα θέλει να παρατήσει τη βαρετή δουλειά της για να κατακτήσει τη δημοσιογραφία, το τραγούδι ή το φεγγάρι. Δεν έχει σημασία ο τρόπος, έτσι κι αλλιώς εσύ ξέρεις να την κάνεις να αισθάνεται μία απ’ τις πολλές, δεν περιμένεις εμένα να σου πω πώς. Συνέχισε να είσαι και να μην είσαι εκεί, να θέλεις και να μη θέλεις να είσαστε μαζί, να κάνεις πως δεν καταλαβαίνεις πόσο εύκολο είναι να την κάνεις να χαμογελάσει με μια βόλτα, ένα μήνυμα, ένα ρουφηχτό φιλί στη μέση του δρόμου.

Ή απλά φέρσου σαν άνθρωπος, μίλα ξεκάθαρα κι άσε τη να επιλέξει τη φυγή της. Αν δε σου είναι ευτυχία να τη βλέπεις να κοιμάται στον ώμο σου, αν όταν μπαίνει σε ένα μαγαζί δε θέλεις να την αρπάξεις απ’ τη μέση για να δει όλος ο κόσμος πως είναι δικιά σου, αν δεν είναι το φάρμακό σου σε μέρες άρρωστες, μην την κρατάς εγωιστικά εκεί, γιατί κάποιος άλλος εκεί έξω ίσως πέθαινε να είναι στη θέση σου.

Ίσως της αξίζει κάποιος που θα την κάνει ευτυχισμένη καθημερινά, όχι όποτε δεν ξυπνάει στραβά. Τσαλάκωσέ την λοιπόν μια και καλή αντί να την τσαλακώνεις κάθε μέρα, δε βλέπω να σου είναι δα και τόσο δύσκολο.

Μην την αναγκάζεις να ζητιανεύει την προσοχή σου, γιατί εκείνη ξέρει πως τίποτα αξιόλογο δε φωνάζει «κοίτα με»· γι’ αυτό μην αναγκάζεις την ψυχή της να παραπαίει και να ματαιοπονεί για το μισό σου ενδιαφέρον. Ξέρω πως δεν είναι δουλειά σου να της λύσεις τα προβλήματα ούτε εκείνη νομίζω να σου ζήτησε κάτι τέτοιο. Δεν είναι δουλειά σου να της μαντάρεις την καρδιά, να της αποδείξεις πως δεν είσαι σαν τους άλλους, να την ξεκλειδώσεις· μεγάλο κορίτσι είναι, θα τα καταφέρει και μόνη της.

Δουλειά σου όμως φίλε μου είναι να αγαπάς τον τρόπο που πετάνε τα μαλλιά της, να μη λακίζεις στην πρώτη δυσκολία, να την κοιτάζεις ασυναίσθητα την ώρα της ταινίας στο σινεμά, να είναι για σένα η ομορφότερη γυναίκα στον κόσμο ακόμα κι αν υπάρχουν ένα εκατομμύριο άλλες.

Κι αν σου είναι τόσο δύσκολο να είσαι σκληρός απέναντί της, τότε κάνε έναν κόπο να τη νιώσεις. Να την κάνεις να αισθανθεί άξια ν’ αγαπηθεί, γιατί πολλοί προσπάθησαν και τα παράτησαν στη μέση. Αυτό έχει ανάγκη, να νιώσει πως δεν είναι αυτή το πρόβλημα, να αισθανθεί πως αξίζει τη βαβούρα. Να την αγαπήσεις απ’ την αρχή, γιατί αν σταματήσει εκείνη να σε αγαπάει τίποτα δε θα είναι όπως παλιά· δε θα σε ψάξει, δε θα σε παρακαλέσει, δε θα παραλογίζεται, δε θα σε ζηλεύει.

Θα φροντίσει να σου λείψει ο τρόπος με τον οποίο προσπαθούσε να αυγατίσει το λίγο σου για να το κάνει πολύ και θα το κάνει τόσο γρήγορα που δε θα πάρεις χαμπάρι από πού σου ήρθε. Και ξέρεις, η σφαλιάρα που δεν περιμένεις, πονάει πάντα περισσότερο.

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Όσο αφήνεις το παρελθόν να σε στοιχειώνει, τόσο λιγότερο θα απολαμβάνεις τη ζωή σου

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Όταν σκεφτόμαστε συνεχώς πράγματα από το παρελθόν μας, είτε αναπολώντας τα, είτε αναθεωρώντας τα, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε μία παγίδα που μας κρατάει πίσω. Δεν δίνουμε αξία στο παρόν μας και έτσι δεν μπορούμε να χαρούμε τις εμπειρίες που βιώνουμε καθημερινά.

Η ζωή δεν είναι ένα ημερολόγιο γεγονότων που χρειάζεται ξεφύλλισμα από έναν παθητικό αναγνώστη, αλλά μία αρένα δραστηριοτήτων που πάντα έχει κάτι να μας τραβήξει το ενδιαφέρον. Το βέλος της ζωής δεν δείχνει ποτέ προς τα πίσω, δείχνει πάντα μπροστά.Έτσι, είναι ανώφελο κάποιος να κολλάει τη σκέψη του στο παρελθόν ή στο μέλλον σα να μην υπάρχει το “εδώ” και το “τώρα”.

Φυσικά, οι αναμνήσεις είναι εγγενές μέρος της ζωής και συχνά αναπόφευκτες. Είναι ένας τρόπος να μένουμε κοντά στα πρόσωπα που αγαπάμε και σε όσα είμαστε παθιασμένοι. Είναι το συστατικό της προσωπικής μας ταυτότητας και του χαρακτήρα μας. Είναι οι ρίζες βαθιά μέσα στον πυρήνα του εαυτού μας.

“Τό χθες δεν είναι τίποτα περισσότερο από την ανάμνηση του σήμερα, και τo αύριο, τo όνειρο του σήμερα”

-Kahlil Gibran-

Οι μνήμες είναι συχνά κάτι το απατηλό μιας και είναι φτιατσιδωμένες από τα γεγονότα του παρόντος και έτσι πέφτουν στη φάκα του νου. Η διαφορά ανάμεσα στις ψεύτικες και τις γνήσιες αναμνήσεις μοιάζει με τον τρόπο που ξεχωρίζουν τα φο-μπιζού από τα πραγματικά κοσμήματα, τα φο-μπιζού μοιάζουν αληθινά επειδή αστράφτουν πιο έντονα.

Η μνήμη μοιάζει με ένα όχι τόσο έξυπνο σκύλο που όταν του πετάξεις ένα ραβδί θα σου φέρει ένα διαφορετικό που βρίσκεται πιο δίπλα.

“Να ζείτε την κάθε μέρα της ζωής σας”

Η ζωή θα ήταν αδύνατη αν θυμόμασταν όλα όσα μας έχουν συμβεί

Ο Άλμπερτ Αϊνστάιν σε μία συνέντευξή του στο παρελθόν είχε ερωτηθεί τι κάνει όταν του έρχεται μία νέα ιδέα. Αν για παράδειγμα την καταγράφει σε ένα χαρτί ή σε κάποιο συγκεκριμένο σημειωματάριο. Απάντησε αποφασιστικά πως «Όταν έχω μια νέα καταπληκτική ιδέα, δεν τη ξεχνώ εύκολα». Και αυτή είναι η αλήθεια. Όταν κάτι μας συγκινεί σχεδόν αδύνατο να το ξεχάσουμε.

Έτσι, θυμόμαστε όσα είναι πραγματικά σημαντικά για μας και μας συναρπάζουν, γιατί ενεργοποιούνται οι περιοχές και οι νευρωνικές συνδέσεις του εγκεφάλου που είναι υπεύθυνες για τη διατήρηση αυτής της μνήμης.

Το πρόβλημα ανακύπτει όταν ο εγκέφαλος διατηρεί έντονα αναμνήσεις που θα πρέπει να ξεχάσουμε, γιατί δεν μας κάνουν καλό. Και ακριβώς αυτή η σήμανση συγκεκριμένων αναμνήσεων που επιθυμούμε να σβήσουμε είναι ο μηχανισμός που τις κρατά ζωντανές στο μυαλό μας.

Όπως πρεσβεύει και η μέθοδος της αντίστροφης ψυχολογίας, η διαδικασία της λήθης ξεκινά όταν αντίστοιχες καινούργιες μνήμες αντικαθιστούν τις παλιές μη επιθυμητές. Έτσι στο τέλος, όταν το μυαλό ανακτά μνήμες του παρελθόντος, έχει κάτι πιο φρέσκο να φέρει μπροστά μας!

“Πρέπει να ζουμε στο παρόν, να αναβαθμίζουμε τον εαυτό μας σε κάθε ευκαιρία που παρουσιάζεται μπροστά μας, να κερδίζουμε την αιωνιότητα κάθε στιγμή. Μόνο οι ανόητοι κάθονται στο νησί που κρύβει το θησαυρό κοιτώντας από μακριά άλλες παραλίες. Όπως δεν υπάρχουν άλλα νησιά για μας, έτσι υπάρχει μόνο μία ζωή που καλούμαστε να ζήσουμε.”

Η ανάμνηση μοιάζει με άρωμα που κρατά για πολύ

Οι απολαύσεις είναι λουλούδια που ανθίζουν όταν ζούμε τη ζωή μας, την παίρνουμε στα χέρια μας και τη γευόμαστε. Οι ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις είναι εκείνες που συνέβησαν τις στιγμές που έπρεπε και που δεν ξεχείλωσαν πέρα από τα όριά τους μη αφήνοντας να γευτούμε καινούργιες στιγμές.

Δεν θυμόμαστε γεγονότα στην ολότητά τους παρά μόνο συγκεκριμένες στιγμές, γι’ αυτό λοιπόν θα πρέπει να έχουμε βιώματα και εμπειρίες ξανά και ξανά. Ο πλούτος της ζωής βρίσκεται στις αναμνήσεις που συνεχίζουμε να κάνουμε και επιλέγουμε να κρατάμε. Μερικές φορές είναι δύσκολο να τολμήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες, ειδικά αν είμαστε κολλημένοι και περιχαρακωμένοι στη ζώνη άνεσης μας. Ωστόσο, αν θέλουμε να έχουμε ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις θα πρέπει να ζούμε μία έντονη ζωή.

Μολονότι, έχουμε ένα απτό και ικανό φυσικό σώμα και με τις αισθήσεις μας μπορούμε να έρθουμε σε επαφή με το εξωτερικό κόσμο και να τον καθορίσουμε όπως θέλουμε, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε όσα μας λέει το μυαλό μας και η εσωτερική μας φωνή. Παρ’ όλο αυτό, θα πρέπει να πάρουμε μια απόφαση. Είτε Θα περάσουμε τη ζωή μας αναμασώντας όσα μας συνέβησαν στο παρελθόν και ενθυμούμενοι τις άσχημες εμπειρίες που είχαμε, είτε θα πάρουμε τον έλεγχο της ζωής μας, θα ζήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες και φυσικά θα ελέγξουμε τα συναισθήματά μας. Μόνο αν τολμήσουμε κάτι τέτοιο, θα μπορέσουμε να απολαύσουμε την ύπαρξή μας.

Το κλειδί για να βιώνουμε περισσότερο είναι να σκεφτόμαστε και να αναπολούμε το παρελθόν λιγότερο και να περιορίζουμε τις προσδοκίες που περιμένουμε να υλοποιηθούν στο μέλλον. Να αποδεχτούμε αυτά που έχουμε στο εδώ και στο τώρα και τίποτα περισσότερο. Να ζούμε τις στιγμές μας εμποδίζοντας τους εαυτούς μας να αποπροσανατολιστούν από τις παγίδες που βάζει το μυαλό.

Εν τέλει, ο προορισμός μας είναι να ζήσουμε, όμως καταλήγουμε να ζούμε ελάχιστα. Είναι η ώρα να αντιστρέψουμε αυτόν τον κανόνα. Η ευτυχία δεν βρίσκεται σε άλλο τόπο και χρόνο, αλλά στο παρόν στο εδώ και στο τώρα. θυμάστε πάντα.

Πηγές: share24.gr / Spirit Alive 
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Τάσος Λειβαδίτης: «Μάθε να αγαπάς αυτούς που δεν πληγώνουν την αγάπη»

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Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από τα δύσκολα. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που σε πλήγωναν εύκολα, που δεν δίσταζαν να σου πουν όχι, που δεν σε φρόντιζαν όσο θα ήθελες. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που ενώ γνώριζες ότι δεν είσαι ευτυχισμένος, ευτυχισμένη, παρέμενες και το ονόμαζες σχέση.

Παλιά έλεγες ότι αξίζεις περισσότερα, σταδιακά όμως σταμάτησες να το λες. Τον ξέχασες τον εαυτό σου. Δικαιολογούσες όλες τις συμπεριφορές των άλλων. Έμαθες να εφευρίσκεις δικαιολογίες για όλες τις συμπεριφορές, για όλα τα λόγια, για αυτά που σε πλήγωναν. Έμαθες να λες ότι γίνεσαι πιο δυνατός, πιο δυνατή έτσι.

Έμαθες να προσπαθείς να σώσεις, ακόμα και αυτά που δεν σώζονται. Προσπαθούσες για χρόνια να πείσεις τον εαυτό σου ότι έτσι είναι οι σχέσεις. Δύσκολες, πρέπει πάντα να καταλαβαίνεις τον άλλον, απαιτούν μόνιμα συμβιβασμούς και μόνιμα έπρεπε να προσφέρεις εσύ.

Να σου πω όμως κάτι; Δεν είναι έτσι οι σχέσεις. Έμαθες να αγαπάς όσους πληγώνουν την αγάπη, όσους πλήγωναν εσένα. Ονόμαζες το λίγο πολύ και πάντα δικαιολογούσες. Πάντα έλεγες ότι καταλαβαίνεις τους άλλους και ότι στην αγάπη πρέπει πάντα να ακούμε. Να σου πω όμως κάτι;

Δεν είναι αυτό αγάπη. Στην αγάπη προσφέρουν και οι δύο, νιώθουν και οι δύο, ακούνε και οι δύο, φροντίζουν και θαυμάζουν και οι δύο, ρωτάνε και οι δύο, ενδιαφέρονται και οι δύο, είναι παρόντες και οι δύο, επιδιώκουν και οι δύο, προσφέρουν και οι δύο, θέλουν τη σχέση έμπρακτα και οι δύο.

Δεν πληγώνουν. Δεν μειώνουν. Δεν παραμελούν. Δεν αγνοούν. Δείχνουν, με λίγα ή με πολλά, δεν έχει σημασία. Σέβονται. Και είναι τόσο όμορφο να σε σέβονται, να σε θαυμάζουν, να σου λένε πόσο όμορφος είσαι ή πόσο όμορφο είναι αυτό που έφτιαξες.

Σταμάτησε να δικαιολογείς και να αρκείσαι στα λίγα. Φρόντισε τον εαυτό σου και αγάπησέ τον μέσα από τις επιλογές σου. Μην περιμένεις μία γιορτή για να σου δείξει ο άλλος αν σε αγαπάει. Αγάπη σημαίνει να σου δείχνω καθημερινά ότι αξίζω εγώ να είμαι δίπλα σου.

Ελένη Σολταρίδου – enallaktikidrasi.com

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Δε κλαίω γιατί είμαι αδύναμος! Κλαίω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός!

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Ναι κλαίω. Κλαίω γιατί δεν είναι «ντροπή», επειδή δεν «εκτίθεμαι» όταν το κάνω όπως εσύ υποστηρίζεις. Κλαίω γιατί τα χω καλά με τον εαυτό μου κι έχω μάθει να μην τον καταπιέζω μόνο και μόνο για να μπορώ να εντάσσομαι στην κάθε κοινωνική νόρμα που θέλει τους «δυνατούς» αναίσθητους.

Κλαίω γιατί δεν είμαι αναίσθητος και επιλέγω να μην μηδενίζω τον ανθρώπινο συναισθηματισμό και την πηγαία δύναμη ξεσπάσματος που έχω μέσα μου και που όσο κι αν εσένα σου φαίνεται περίεργο, θέλει πολλά κουράγια να καταφέρεις να βγάλεις προς τα έξω.

Γιατί όταν αυτή η δύναμη απελευθερώνεται μένει εκεί για να σε ξυπνήσει, να σε κινητοποιήσει και να κατευθύνει την συνείδησή σου εκεί που έχεις ξεχάσει πώς να πάς.

Εκεί που είσαι άνθρωπος και εκφράζεσαι με ειλικρίνεια και θάρρος, όχι απέναντι στους άλλους αλλά απέναντι στον ίδιο σου τον εαυτό.

Εκεί που κοιτάς κατάματα την ψυχή σου και της ζητάς παραπονεμένα το λόγο που σ’ αφήνει να ζεις όπως σου λένε οι άλλοι. Εκεί που ο πόνος, η συγκίνηση, η αγανάκτηση , η χαρά είναι και πάλι μέρος του εαυτού σου κι όχι απαγορευμένες, ξεχασμένες καταστάσεις του είναι σου.

Και ναι έφτασα εκεί. Και ήταν δύσκολο να αντιμετωπίσω τον εαυτό μου, μάλλον, ήταν δύσκολο να τον βρω γιατί συνεχώς τον έχανα ψάχνοντάς τον πίσω από καλώς δημιουργημένα, κοινωνικώς αποδεκτά προσωπεία.

Κι όταν τον βρήκα επιτέλους φοβήθηκα, κι άρχισα να τρέχω με πανικό για να μην συνειδητοποιήσω άλλα. Και μακριά από αυτόν έτρεχα κι από όλους τους άλλους, που μου έδιναν ρηχά διδάγματα επιβίωσης και επέμεναν πως είμαι αδύναμος και πως πρέπει να «σκληρύνω» και να κρύψω τον εαυτό μου για να επιβιώσω.

Στο τέλος όμως σταμάτησα. Γιατί ήταν μάταιο και γιατί κουράστηκα. Σταμάτησα αποφασιστικά, γύρισα προς τα πίσω, είδα τον εαυτό μου, του χαμογέλασα, τον πήρα αγκαλιά και μαζί πήραμε τον δρόμο του γυρισμού. Και μαζί ήμασταν πιο δυνατοί απέναντι στους άλλους. Και δυσκολευτήκαμε και συναντήσαμε εμπόδια αλλά δεν είχε πλέον σημασία γιατί είμαι πλέον ζωντανός! Κι όταν αισθάνομαι το κάνω με όλη την έννοια της λέξης!

Κι αν θέλω να κλάψω θα το κάνω, ακόμη κι αν είναι με μια μικρή λεπτομέρεια που με συγκίνησε και βελτίωσε ολιγόλεπτα την βαρετή καθημερινότητα που έχετε δημιουργήσει, και που ευτυχώς πλέον βιώνω ως απλός παρατηρητής. Και ευτυχώς δεν είμαι μόνος μου. Υπάρχουν κι άλλοι σαν κι εμένα και θα υπάρξουν ακόμη περισσότεροι.

Θα κλάψω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός και αν ο λόγος δεν σας αρκεί και θέλετε κάτι πιο «λογικό», θα κλάψω για σας και τον χαμένο σας συναισθηματισμό. Όχι για να σας θρηνήσω αλλά για να σας κάνω να θυμηθείτε τι θα πει «είμαι ζωντανός».

Σας χαιρετώ,

Ένας ζωντανός άνθρωπος

Πηγή: have2read
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