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Της Ιωάννας Γκανέτσα.

—Τι μετράς;
—Τις αμαρτίες μου.

—Πόσες είναι;
—Χάνω το μέτρημα.

—Θέλεις άφεση;
—Θέλω κι άλλες.

—Σκέφτεσαι επικίνδυνα.
—Ίσως. Αλλά ζω έντονα.

—Πονάει η ένταση, καλέ μου.
—Όταν την έχεις γνωρίσει, δεν συμβιβάζεσαι.

—Σου αρέσει να παιδεύεσαι, νομίζω.
—Ν’ αντλώ ηδονή από καθετί, μου αρέσει.

—Δηλώσεις και σημεία των καιρών.
—Όχι για μένα.

—Τι σε κάνει να ξεχωρίζεις, νομίζεις;
—Το γεγονός πως κάνω πράξη όσα λέω.

—Δυσεύρετο.
—Μόνο για όσους δε θέλουν να ψάξουν.

—Τους λείπει η θέληση, λες;
—Η σπίθα τους λείπει.

—Η σπίθα μπορεί να φέρει τη φωτιά.

—Απεχθάνομαι τη στασιμότητα του πάγου.

—Η στασιμότητα παρέχει σταθερότητα και ασφάλεια.
—Ξεχνάς πως αν ακουμπήσεις για ώρα τον πάγο καίγεσαι εξίσου άσχημα.

Σταμάτησα το παιχνίδι των ερωτήσεων και απαντήσεων και έμεινα να τον κοιτάζω με το στόμα ανοιχτό. Είχε, στ’ αλήθεια, δίκιο. Έπιασα ασυναίσθητα τον εαυτό μου να τρίβει τα δάχτυλα του ποδιού μέσα από το παπούτσι μου καθώς έφερα στο νου την πρώτη και τελευταία φορά που προσπάθησα να κάνω σκι στο βουνό.

Κάποιοι φίλοι με είχαν πείσει να δοκιμάσω για την εμπειρία αλλά είχαν ξεχάσει να με προειδοποιήσουν για τους κίνδυνους. Κατέληξα να πάρω λάθος στροφή σε κάποια πίστα, να βρεθώ πολύ μακριά από τους υπόλοιπους, με το ένα πέδιλο του σκι πεταμένο μακριά από το σημείο που είχα πέσει και το πόδι αρκετά τραυματισμένο για να κάνω οποιαδήποτε προσπάθεια να σηκωθώ από το χιόνι.

Έμεινα τόση ώρα εκεί ώστε να νιώσω το σώμα μου να μουδιάζει από το κρύο, το παγωμένο πρόσωπο μου να αρνείται να συνοδεύσει με μορφασμούς τον πόνο που με κατέκλυζε και τα δάχτυλα του ποδιού μου, βουτηγμένα στο χιόνι παρά τη θέληση τους, να προσπαθούν μάταια να δείξουν σημάδια κινητικότητας.

Πανικοβλήθηκα, φοβήθηκα, έκλαψα, ούρλιαξα, άλλοτε από απόγνωση κι άλλοτε από πόνο και πήρα όλες εκείνες τις αποφάσεις που μέχρι τότε ανέβαλλα γιατί δήθεν δεν είχα χρόνο. Μπούρδες! Πάντοτε βρίσκεις χρόνος για όσα πράγματι επιθυμείς. Κι αν δεν βρίσκεις είναι γιατί η επιθυμία σου να τα αναβάλλεις είναι μεγαλύτερη.

Μια από τις αυταπάτες του 21ου αιώνα είναι η δικαιολογία “Δεν έχω χρόνο”. Όλοι έχουμε χρόνο. Για την ακρίβεια όλοι έχουμε ακριβώς τον ίδιο χρόνο ημέρας. Το πώς θα τον ξοδέψουμε είναι μια προσωπική επιλογή που δεν επιδέχεται την μετατόπιση του βάρους της ευθύνης της στον ίδιο το χρόνο. Εκείνος μας δίνεται χωρίς όρους κι εμείς τον μοιράζουμε κατά το δοκούν.

Η αντίστροφη μέτρηση για την αλλαγή του έτους με έφερε πίσω στην πραγματικότητα. Τα φώτα έκλεισαν, τα λαμπάκια στο χριστουγεννιάτικο δέντρο χόρευαν ανυπόμονα και τα πρώτα πυροτεχνήματα ακούστηκαν την ώρα που έκλεινα τα μάτια και ευχόμουν ο νέος χρόνος να φέρει στιγμές, όχι δικαιολογίες, να φέρει όνειρα, όχι φόβους, να φέρει αλήθειες, όχι ψέματα, να φέρει φωτιά που θα λιώσει τον πάγο των αποστάσεων από τις πραγματικές επιθυμίες.

”Που ταξίδεψες αυτά τα πρώτα δευτερόλεπτα του χρόνου;”, με ρώτησε διακόπτοντας τις σκέψεις μου. “Στο μέλλον”, του απάντησα και τον κοίταξα. “Και τι είδες;”, συνέχισε. “Εμένα» του είπα βιαστικά. “Να χορεύω στις φλόγες”. “Κι αν καείς;”, επέμεινε χαμογελώντας με ευχαρίστηση ενώ γέμιζε το ποτήρι μου με ουίσκι.

Κατέβασα τις πρώτες γουλιές πριν προλάβει να προσθέσει πάγο. “Ας είναι”, του απάντησα σηκώνοντας περιπαικτικά τους ώμους και νιώθοντας το ποτό να καίει τον ουρανίσκο μου.

Καλύτερη καμένη από το χρόνο παρά χαμένη.

Ιωάννα Γκανέτσα

Πηγή

Ιωάννα Γκανέτσα

Η Ιωάννα Γκανέτσα είναι συγγραφέας του βιβλίου “Ο έρωτας δε θέλει τίτλο” ενώ αυτή την περίοδο ετοιμάζει ήδη το επόμενο. Γράφει γιατί της αρέσει να βλέπει τα κείμενα της να ταξιδεύουν και τις λέξεις της να προκαλούν συναισθήματα. Αγαπημένο της motto το “Ζω για τη στιγμή”.

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feautured

Άντρα σε κάνουν οι πράξεις, όχι τα λόγια

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Γράφει ο Κωνσταντίνος Καρύδης

«Όλοι μαλάκες είναι».
Πόσο εύκολα έχουν ειπωθεί αυτές οι λέξεις. Πόσο μελάνι δεν χύθηκε, πόσες συζητήσεις έμειναν στη μέση μόνο και μόνο γιατί το συμπέρασμα ήταν το εξής ένα. «Όλοι μαλάκες είναι».

Συμφωνώ, υπάρχουν πολλών ειδών «μαλάκες». Αν, όμως, εσύ δεν μπορείς να ξεχωρίσεις το αγόρι απʾ τον άντρα, και τον άντρα απʾ το αρσενικό δε σου φταίει κανένας, είναι δικό σου θέμα και καθόλου δεν με ενδιαφέρει.

Κρύβεσαι πίσω από δύο αποσιωπητικά, βουτηγμένη μέσα στο δήθεν φεμινισμό σου και δεν καταλαβαίνεις πως ουσιαστικά κάνεις ζημιά μόνο σε εσένα.

Το αγόρι, ο άντρας ή το αρσενικό (αν και τα δυο τελευταία έχουν λίγο μπερδεμένο νόημα) υπάρχει πιθανότητα να μην πάψει ποτέ να έχει αυτή του την ιδιότητα μέχρι τέλους.

Υπάρχει, όμως, καλή μου, μια κατηγορία αγοριών τα οποία «μυρίζουν» από μακριά πως όταν τα μαλλιά τους ασπρίσουν, θα έχουν αποδείξει ότι είναι αρσενικά (κρατώντας το «αρσενικά» ως τον υπέρτατο χαρακτηρισμό σʾ έναν άντρα).
Θα ωριμάσει μέσα από τον αυτοσαρκασμό του και θα βάλει την εκτίμηση που έχει στη γυναίκα δίπλα του πάνω απʾ όλα.

Είναι αυτός ο άντρας που θα ήθελες να δεις δίπλα στην κόρη σου, εκείνος στον οποίο θα ήθελες να μοιάσει ο γιος σου.

Είναι αυτός που θα καταφέρει να σʾ ανεβάσει ψηλά χωρίς να έχει μπράτσα και κοιλιακούς. Ξέρει να ξεχωρίσει το γυναικάκι απʾ την γυναίκα και θα διυλίσει την κάθε σου ματιά.

Ξέρει τι θα πει ευγένεια, εκτίμηση και θα στη δείξει ακόμα και στον τρόπο που περπατάει δίπλα σου ή στον τρόπο που μιλάει για εσένα στους φίλους του.

Δεν πιστεύω να νομίζετε πως ακόμα κι αυτός ο τύπος άντρα δε θα κοιτάξει άλλη γυναίκα.
Φυσικά και θα κοιτάξει, μα το νόημα δεν είναι τι θα κοιτάξει, αλλά πού θα καταλήξει τελικά το βλέμμα του, γιατί πολύ απλά εκείνο ανήκει μόνο σʾ εσένα.

Τα υπόλοιπα απλά τα προσπερνά σαν την πρώτη ματιά που ρίχνει μπαίνοντας σʾ ένα bar προσπαθώντας να βρει ένα κενό τραπέζι να κάτσετε.
Αυτό είσαι για εκείνον, η ξεχωριστή, μοναδική γωνιά, το μοναδικό τραπέζι που ψάχνει να βρει για νʾ αράξει.

Για τον πραγματικό άντρα, το «σʾ ευχαριστώ» και το «συγγνώμη» είναι ένα σύνολο γραμμάτων τα οποία με μεγάλη ευκολία θα τα συντάξει στη σωστή σειρά, για να τους αποδώσει τις τιμές που τους αναλογούν και μαζί μʾ αυτά και σε εσένα.

Την αποδοχή σου την έχει γραμμένη στα παλαιότερα των υποδημάτων του, μιας κι αυτό που αναζητά είναι η εκτίμηση κι ο σεβασμός σου.
Θα αποζητήσει σʾ εσένα τη γνώμη σου, την άποψή σου κι όχι ένα κοριτσάκι που θα του ψελλίζει συνεχόμενα, φοβισμένα «ναι».

Απλώνει το χέρι του να σε κρατήσει, έτσι απλά, επειδή είναι ικανός να κάνει το απλό, σημαντικό.

Είσαι η ιδανική για εκείνον, όχι επειδή συμμορφώνεσαι με κάποια πρότυπα, αλλά επειδή δεν τον ενδιαφέρει το ιδανικό και δεν το ψάχνει. Ξέρει τον τρόπο να σε κάνει να νιώσεις ιδανική για εκείνον κι αυτό του αρκεί.

Είναι ο άντρας που δεν είναι όμορφος, αλλά θα σου αποδεικνύει καθημερινά πως μοναδικός σκοπός του είναι το να νιώθει όμορφος στα μάτια σου.

Ξέρει να ηγηθεί, και μέσα απʾ την ηγετική του υπόσταση θα καλύψει όλες σου τις ανασφάλειες, την ίδια στιγμή που στα μάτια σου θα αναζητά εκείνη που θα μείνει στα δύσκολα χωρίς πολλές φαμφάρες.

Να ξέρεις πως τα λόγια του είναι οι πράξεις του, αλλά ακόμα κι όταν τα χρησιμοποιεί, το κάνει για να μην ξεχνιέσαι, γιατί ξεχνιέστε, αγαπητή μου.

Είναι εκείνος που στο άκουσμά του θα ριγήσεις από πόθο, θα σε κάνει να τον ποθήσεις παίζοντας με το μυαλό σου κι όχι με το κορμί σου.

Στο τέλος της ημέρας, στο κρεβάτι σου, θα είναι αυτός που, κλείνοντας τα μάτια σου δίπλα του, θα σε κάνει να χαμογελάσεις με την εικόνα ενός γέρου γκριζομάλλη που σε πλησιάζει από πίσω κουτσαίνοντας, και σε παίρνει αγκαλιά, την ίδια στιγμή που φιλά τον ρυτιδιασμένο σου λαιμό.

Αυτός ο ίδιος που το πρωί δε θα ξεχάσεις ποτέ να τον αποχαιρετήσεις με μια καλημέρα και ένα φιλί.

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feautured

Όσο αγαπάς τον εαυτό σου τόσο θα αγαπάς τους άλλους.

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Της Ανθής Κατερίνη.

Αποκτάς μεγαλύτερη αγάπη για τους άλλους όταν αρχίζεις να φροντίζεις τον εαυτό σου. Εάν θέλεις να τους αγαπήσεις και δεν μπορείς να το εκφράσεις, η ίδια αυτή δυσκολία υπάρχει στην σχέση σου με τον εαυτό σου. Και αν σήμερα θέλεις να τους πεις πόσο όμορφοι είναι, είναι γιατί τα λόγια και οι πράξεις σου δεν κατευθύνονται εχθρικά προς τον εαυτό σου όπως χθες. Από τις σωστές για σένα επιλογές απορρέει από μέσα σου η επιθυμία να σου πεις μπράβο και έτσι καταλήγεις να επιβραβεύεις την ύπαρξη των άλλων που υπάρχουν εκεί και στέκουν τόσο όμορφοι. Με ιδιαίτερη ομορφιά, με την φιλικότητα και τον αυθορμητισμό τους, με την επιμονή και την εργατικότητά τους, με το άγχος τους, με την ντροπαλότητά τους. Όλοι βλέπεις σου αρέσουν τέτοιες μέρες που έχεις φροντίσει τον εαυτό σου και όλους τους αγαπάς ακόμη και αν είναι τόσο διαφορετικοί μεταξύ τους. Αποτελούν πλευρές του εαυτού σου και τις αποδέχεσαι. Μα εάν κάποια έχεις αποκλείσει από την ταυτότητά σου και δεν την θεωρείς δική σου πλευρά καταβάθος την ζηλεύεις και την αποστρέφεσαι σαν ατελής άνθρωπος που είσαι, που δεν του αρέσει να τον βαραίνει μία αίσθηση κατωτερότητας. Γι’ αυτό δεν πρέπει να φοβάσαι να γίνεις όλα αυτά που έχεις αποκλείσει πως μπορείς να είσαι. Αυτό ήταν μέχρι χτες. Σήμερα μπορείς να επιλέξεις από την αρχή. Μια επιλογή σε κρατά και η ιδέα πως δεν ήταν τέτοια όμορφα πράγματα στο πεδίο των επιλογών σου.
Όσο αγαπάς τον εαυτό σου τόσο θα αγαπάς τους άλλους. Όσο πιο όμορφο σε βρίσκεις τόσο θα βλέπεις ομορφιά στους άλλους.
Σταμάτα τις πράξεις που σε οδηγούνε σε φαύλους κύκλους αρνητικών συναισθημάτων. Αν σε τρέφει αυτή η ρόδα που πάνω της τσουλάς και ταυτόχρονα στην άσφαλτο πατιέσαι, μάθε να μην φοβάσαι να μείνεις εκτεθειμένος με τον πόνο σου, αντί να τον καλύπτεις με σκουπίδια. Μάθε πως όταν σταματήσεις τα εφήμερα παυσίπονα τότε θα σε διδάξει ο πόνος σου. Πρέπει να τον κοιτάξεις και μια φορά στα μάτια. Να μην τον πνίγεις με μία κουβέρτα για να εξαφανιστεί. Αντιθέτως, να καλύψεις εσένα με την κουβέρτα αυτή, να ζεσταθείς και ό, τι άσχημο ,θα δεις, που θα φύγει σαν μικρόβιο που δεν μπόρεσε να επιζήσει μέσα σε έναν οργανισμό που οι στρατιώτες του πολέμησαν με τόλμη και δύναμη για την προστασία του παλατιού τους. Γύμνασε τους πολεμιστές της ψυχής σου και θα γίνεις ο καλύτερος προστάτης του εαυτού σου. Γιατί όσο και να μην θέλουμε να το παραδεχτούμε εάν κατηγορούμε κάποιον για το κακό που μας έκανε, στην πραγματικότητα κατηγορούμε εμάς που μας φερθήκαμε με τέτοια αναισθησία και δεν μας προστατέψαμε όπως μας άξιζε. Και τέτοια ντροπή πώς να την ξεχάσεις; Με το να κάνεις τον εαυτό σου να σε εμπιστευτεί ξανά. Να πιστέψει πως εάν αφεθεί χαλαρός στα χέρια σου δεν θα βρεθεί ξανά στο πάτωμα, αλλά θα είσαι εκεί να τον αφήσεις να πέσει απαλά μέσα στην τρυφερή σου χούφτα.

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Ανθή Κατερίνη

Κάθε φορά που χάνομαι ανάμεσα στον ρεαλισμό και τον ρομαντισμό, στην αισιοδοξία και την απαισιοδοξία παίζω με τις λέξεις για να με ανακαλύψω. Οι σκέψεις μου χορεύουν στάζοντας μελάνι και δεν ξέρεις ποτέ τι θα σχηματίσουν τα βήματά τους. Η αδυναμία μου είναι οι όμορφες ψυχές. Μυρωδιές, μουσικές, εικόνες χρωματίζουν την καθημερινότητα μου. Στόχος μου είναι η αυτοβελτίωση γι’ αυτό συχνά αλλάζω αφήνοντας πίσω ότι στέκεται εμπόδιο ανάμεσα σε μένα και τον εαυτό μου.

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feautured

Η Ελλάδα πάντα από κάπου αιμορραγεί.

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Της Δικαίας Μαραβέλια.

Αγαπητέ μου Έλληνα, ξέρεις από τότε που η Ελλαδίτσα μας θυμάται τον εαυτό της, πάντα από κάπου αιμορραγεί.
Τραβάς εσύ από την μια, τραβούν οι υπόλοιποι από την άλλη και τώρα είναι η ώρα που χρειάζεται την καλύτερη περίθαλψη γιατί αιμορραγεί στο κέντρο της.
Οι αξίες μας, ο πολιτισμός μας, η ψυχή μας, εμείς οι ίδιοι αφήσαμε να μας τα πάρουν… και τώρα απαιτείς να στα επιστρέψουν. 
Φοβάσαι να πεις δημόσια, ότι φοβάσαι για τα παιδιά σου;
Ξέρεις φοβάμαι, που φοβάσαι. Φοβάμαι που νομίζεις ότι τα θέματα που απασχολούν ολόκληρο τον πλανήτη δεν σε απασχολούν.
Ναι ζούμε στην πιο ευλογημένη χώρα στο κόσμο, στην χώρα της δημοκρατίας, στην χώρα που κάνουμε ποστ μόνο, τις σοφίες των σοφών μας, χωρίς να γνωρίζουμε το βαθύτερο νόημα τους.
Φοβάμαι… αλλά είμαι αισιόδοξη. Για τα παιδιά ρε, για τα παιδιά μας!

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Δικαία Μαραβέλια

Η Δικαία Μαραβέλια ζει μόνιμα στη Σύμη.
Μεγαλωμένη και κανακεμένη, στα γόνατα του παπά Τάσου, με ιερή στιγμή αυτή που την τάϊζε γλυκό σταφύλι με τόση ευλάβεια, σαν να ήταν κοινωνία.
Τον έβλεπε πάντα να γράφει όταν δεν λειτουργούσε.
Τώρα έφτασε η ώρα να ακολουθήσει τα χνάρια του, συντροφιά με τους αγγέλους της.

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