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Να λες «όχι», μην το φοβάσαι. Τα «ναι» σου είναι για τους λίγους.

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Της Κατερίνας Τσαμπά

Και να που μεγάλωσες και ενηλικιώθηκες και δεν είσαι πια στο κουκούλι της μανούλας και του πατερούλη και πρέπει να αντιμετωπίζεις τον κόσμο εκεί έξω μόνη και απροστάτευτη. Χμμ απροστάτευτη; Ποιος το είπε; Νομίζεις!! Έχεις τον καλύτερο προστάτη του κόσμου. Εσένα!!

Ξέρω. Μια από τις πιο δύσκολες δουλειές, που καλείσαι να μάθεις στη ζωή σου, είναι να λες «όχι». Όχι σε ανθρώπους, όχι στα δικά τους θέλω, όχι στα «πρέπει» των άλλων, «όχι» στις «κοινωνικές επιταγές».

Την ίδια στιγμή που σκέφτεσαι να πεις «όχι» σε κάποιον, την ίδια στιγμή φοβάσαι μη τον χάσεις. Γιατί νομίζεις ότι θα δυσαρεστηθεί. Δεν πάει όμως έτσι. Αν είναι να τον χάσεις γι αυτό το λόγο, θα τον έχανες κάποια στιγμή ακόμα και αν του έλεγες μια ζωή «ναι». Και αν είναι να τον χάσεις κάποια στιγμή, τι καλύτερο από το να τον χάσεις τώρα που αποφασίζεις να βάλεις τα όρια σου; Τώρα που αποφασίζεις για σένα επιτέλους!! Γιατί, μη γελιέσαι. Αυτό κάνεις με το «όχι» σου. Βάζεις όρια εκεί που δεν υπάρχουν.

Κουράστηκα για να το μάθω και «έχασα» πολλούς ανθρώπους. Δε μετανιώνω στιγμή όμως που υποστήριξα εμένα. Γιατί έδειξα στους ανθρώπους ποια είμαι. Γιατί «πάτησα πόδι». Και στην τελική, δεν μπορώ να τους έχω όλους ευχαριστημένους. Πολύ θα το ήθελα, αλλά στο τέλος δε θα ευχαριστούσα εμένα και θα ήμουν κουρέλι από κούραση. Και εν κατακλείδι, τι ζωή θα ήταν αυτή; Θα ζούσα για τους άλλους;; Αρνούμαι!!

Και μην έχεις αυταπάτες. Τελικά, περισσότεροι είναι αυτοί που μένουν, γιατί με τα «όχι» που λες, μαθαίνουν να σε σέβονται και να σε εκτιμούν. Σκέψου… εσύ θα σεβόσουν ή/και θα εκτιμούσες  κάποιον που θα σου έλεγε συνέχεια «ναι»;

αναπνοές

Κατερίνα Τσαμπά

Στην τρελή μου καθημερινότητα έχω τη γραφή να μου δίνει αναπνοές, να με χαλαρώνει και να ηρεμεί το μυαλό μου. Έτσι μπορώ να συνεχίσω την υπόλοιπη μέρα μου με άλλη διάθεση. Λατρεύω την επικοινωνία μέσω της γραφής. Θεωρώ τον εαυτό μου τυχερό γιατί έχω πολύ καλούς φίλους τους οποίους αγαπώ. Θεωρώ σημαντικότατη την αγάπη, να αγαπάς και να αγαπιέσαι και χωρίς αυτή θα ένιωθα μισή. Σιχαίνομαι τα ψέματα και τα αναγνωρίζω από μακριά. Δεν μπλέκομαι σε ίντριγκες και όπου βλέπω τέτοιες φεύγω τρέχοντας. Προσπαθώ πάντα να βρω το θετικό ακόμα και μέσα από κάτι αρνητικό κι έτσι πορεύομαι στη ζωή προσπαθώντας να ζω τη μέρα για την κάθε μέρα.

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feautured

Άντρα σε κάνουν οι πράξεις, όχι τα λόγια

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Γράφει ο Κωνσταντίνος Καρύδης

«Όλοι μαλάκες είναι».
Πόσο εύκολα έχουν ειπωθεί αυτές οι λέξεις. Πόσο μελάνι δεν χύθηκε, πόσες συζητήσεις έμειναν στη μέση μόνο και μόνο γιατί το συμπέρασμα ήταν το εξής ένα. «Όλοι μαλάκες είναι».

Συμφωνώ, υπάρχουν πολλών ειδών «μαλάκες». Αν, όμως, εσύ δεν μπορείς να ξεχωρίσεις το αγόρι απʾ τον άντρα, και τον άντρα απʾ το αρσενικό δε σου φταίει κανένας, είναι δικό σου θέμα και καθόλου δεν με ενδιαφέρει.

Κρύβεσαι πίσω από δύο αποσιωπητικά, βουτηγμένη μέσα στο δήθεν φεμινισμό σου και δεν καταλαβαίνεις πως ουσιαστικά κάνεις ζημιά μόνο σε εσένα.

Το αγόρι, ο άντρας ή το αρσενικό (αν και τα δυο τελευταία έχουν λίγο μπερδεμένο νόημα) υπάρχει πιθανότητα να μην πάψει ποτέ να έχει αυτή του την ιδιότητα μέχρι τέλους.

Υπάρχει, όμως, καλή μου, μια κατηγορία αγοριών τα οποία «μυρίζουν» από μακριά πως όταν τα μαλλιά τους ασπρίσουν, θα έχουν αποδείξει ότι είναι αρσενικά (κρατώντας το «αρσενικά» ως τον υπέρτατο χαρακτηρισμό σʾ έναν άντρα).
Θα ωριμάσει μέσα από τον αυτοσαρκασμό του και θα βάλει την εκτίμηση που έχει στη γυναίκα δίπλα του πάνω απʾ όλα.

Είναι αυτός ο άντρας που θα ήθελες να δεις δίπλα στην κόρη σου, εκείνος στον οποίο θα ήθελες να μοιάσει ο γιος σου.

Είναι αυτός που θα καταφέρει να σʾ ανεβάσει ψηλά χωρίς να έχει μπράτσα και κοιλιακούς. Ξέρει να ξεχωρίσει το γυναικάκι απʾ την γυναίκα και θα διυλίσει την κάθε σου ματιά.

Ξέρει τι θα πει ευγένεια, εκτίμηση και θα στη δείξει ακόμα και στον τρόπο που περπατάει δίπλα σου ή στον τρόπο που μιλάει για εσένα στους φίλους του.

Δεν πιστεύω να νομίζετε πως ακόμα κι αυτός ο τύπος άντρα δε θα κοιτάξει άλλη γυναίκα.
Φυσικά και θα κοιτάξει, μα το νόημα δεν είναι τι θα κοιτάξει, αλλά πού θα καταλήξει τελικά το βλέμμα του, γιατί πολύ απλά εκείνο ανήκει μόνο σʾ εσένα.

Τα υπόλοιπα απλά τα προσπερνά σαν την πρώτη ματιά που ρίχνει μπαίνοντας σʾ ένα bar προσπαθώντας να βρει ένα κενό τραπέζι να κάτσετε.
Αυτό είσαι για εκείνον, η ξεχωριστή, μοναδική γωνιά, το μοναδικό τραπέζι που ψάχνει να βρει για νʾ αράξει.

Για τον πραγματικό άντρα, το «σʾ ευχαριστώ» και το «συγγνώμη» είναι ένα σύνολο γραμμάτων τα οποία με μεγάλη ευκολία θα τα συντάξει στη σωστή σειρά, για να τους αποδώσει τις τιμές που τους αναλογούν και μαζί μʾ αυτά και σε εσένα.

Την αποδοχή σου την έχει γραμμένη στα παλαιότερα των υποδημάτων του, μιας κι αυτό που αναζητά είναι η εκτίμηση κι ο σεβασμός σου.
Θα αποζητήσει σʾ εσένα τη γνώμη σου, την άποψή σου κι όχι ένα κοριτσάκι που θα του ψελλίζει συνεχόμενα, φοβισμένα «ναι».

Απλώνει το χέρι του να σε κρατήσει, έτσι απλά, επειδή είναι ικανός να κάνει το απλό, σημαντικό.

Είσαι η ιδανική για εκείνον, όχι επειδή συμμορφώνεσαι με κάποια πρότυπα, αλλά επειδή δεν τον ενδιαφέρει το ιδανικό και δεν το ψάχνει. Ξέρει τον τρόπο να σε κάνει να νιώσεις ιδανική για εκείνον κι αυτό του αρκεί.

Είναι ο άντρας που δεν είναι όμορφος, αλλά θα σου αποδεικνύει καθημερινά πως μοναδικός σκοπός του είναι το να νιώθει όμορφος στα μάτια σου.

Ξέρει να ηγηθεί, και μέσα απʾ την ηγετική του υπόσταση θα καλύψει όλες σου τις ανασφάλειες, την ίδια στιγμή που στα μάτια σου θα αναζητά εκείνη που θα μείνει στα δύσκολα χωρίς πολλές φαμφάρες.

Να ξέρεις πως τα λόγια του είναι οι πράξεις του, αλλά ακόμα κι όταν τα χρησιμοποιεί, το κάνει για να μην ξεχνιέσαι, γιατί ξεχνιέστε, αγαπητή μου.

Είναι εκείνος που στο άκουσμά του θα ριγήσεις από πόθο, θα σε κάνει να τον ποθήσεις παίζοντας με το μυαλό σου κι όχι με το κορμί σου.

Στο τέλος της ημέρας, στο κρεβάτι σου, θα είναι αυτός που, κλείνοντας τα μάτια σου δίπλα του, θα σε κάνει να χαμογελάσεις με την εικόνα ενός γέρου γκριζομάλλη που σε πλησιάζει από πίσω κουτσαίνοντας, και σε παίρνει αγκαλιά, την ίδια στιγμή που φιλά τον ρυτιδιασμένο σου λαιμό.

Αυτός ο ίδιος που το πρωί δε θα ξεχάσεις ποτέ να τον αποχαιρετήσεις με μια καλημέρα και ένα φιλί.

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Όσο αγαπάς τον εαυτό σου τόσο θα αγαπάς τους άλλους.

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Της Ανθής Κατερίνη.

Αποκτάς μεγαλύτερη αγάπη για τους άλλους όταν αρχίζεις να φροντίζεις τον εαυτό σου. Εάν θέλεις να τους αγαπήσεις και δεν μπορείς να το εκφράσεις, η ίδια αυτή δυσκολία υπάρχει στην σχέση σου με τον εαυτό σου. Και αν σήμερα θέλεις να τους πεις πόσο όμορφοι είναι, είναι γιατί τα λόγια και οι πράξεις σου δεν κατευθύνονται εχθρικά προς τον εαυτό σου όπως χθες. Από τις σωστές για σένα επιλογές απορρέει από μέσα σου η επιθυμία να σου πεις μπράβο και έτσι καταλήγεις να επιβραβεύεις την ύπαρξη των άλλων που υπάρχουν εκεί και στέκουν τόσο όμορφοι. Με ιδιαίτερη ομορφιά, με την φιλικότητα και τον αυθορμητισμό τους, με την επιμονή και την εργατικότητά τους, με το άγχος τους, με την ντροπαλότητά τους. Όλοι βλέπεις σου αρέσουν τέτοιες μέρες που έχεις φροντίσει τον εαυτό σου και όλους τους αγαπάς ακόμη και αν είναι τόσο διαφορετικοί μεταξύ τους. Αποτελούν πλευρές του εαυτού σου και τις αποδέχεσαι. Μα εάν κάποια έχεις αποκλείσει από την ταυτότητά σου και δεν την θεωρείς δική σου πλευρά καταβάθος την ζηλεύεις και την αποστρέφεσαι σαν ατελής άνθρωπος που είσαι, που δεν του αρέσει να τον βαραίνει μία αίσθηση κατωτερότητας. Γι’ αυτό δεν πρέπει να φοβάσαι να γίνεις όλα αυτά που έχεις αποκλείσει πως μπορείς να είσαι. Αυτό ήταν μέχρι χτες. Σήμερα μπορείς να επιλέξεις από την αρχή. Μια επιλογή σε κρατά και η ιδέα πως δεν ήταν τέτοια όμορφα πράγματα στο πεδίο των επιλογών σου.
Όσο αγαπάς τον εαυτό σου τόσο θα αγαπάς τους άλλους. Όσο πιο όμορφο σε βρίσκεις τόσο θα βλέπεις ομορφιά στους άλλους.
Σταμάτα τις πράξεις που σε οδηγούνε σε φαύλους κύκλους αρνητικών συναισθημάτων. Αν σε τρέφει αυτή η ρόδα που πάνω της τσουλάς και ταυτόχρονα στην άσφαλτο πατιέσαι, μάθε να μην φοβάσαι να μείνεις εκτεθειμένος με τον πόνο σου, αντί να τον καλύπτεις με σκουπίδια. Μάθε πως όταν σταματήσεις τα εφήμερα παυσίπονα τότε θα σε διδάξει ο πόνος σου. Πρέπει να τον κοιτάξεις και μια φορά στα μάτια. Να μην τον πνίγεις με μία κουβέρτα για να εξαφανιστεί. Αντιθέτως, να καλύψεις εσένα με την κουβέρτα αυτή, να ζεσταθείς και ό, τι άσχημο ,θα δεις, που θα φύγει σαν μικρόβιο που δεν μπόρεσε να επιζήσει μέσα σε έναν οργανισμό που οι στρατιώτες του πολέμησαν με τόλμη και δύναμη για την προστασία του παλατιού τους. Γύμνασε τους πολεμιστές της ψυχής σου και θα γίνεις ο καλύτερος προστάτης του εαυτού σου. Γιατί όσο και να μην θέλουμε να το παραδεχτούμε εάν κατηγορούμε κάποιον για το κακό που μας έκανε, στην πραγματικότητα κατηγορούμε εμάς που μας φερθήκαμε με τέτοια αναισθησία και δεν μας προστατέψαμε όπως μας άξιζε. Και τέτοια ντροπή πώς να την ξεχάσεις; Με το να κάνεις τον εαυτό σου να σε εμπιστευτεί ξανά. Να πιστέψει πως εάν αφεθεί χαλαρός στα χέρια σου δεν θα βρεθεί ξανά στο πάτωμα, αλλά θα είσαι εκεί να τον αφήσεις να πέσει απαλά μέσα στην τρυφερή σου χούφτα.

αναπνοές

Ανθή Κατερίνη

Κάθε φορά που χάνομαι ανάμεσα στον ρεαλισμό και τον ρομαντισμό, στην αισιοδοξία και την απαισιοδοξία παίζω με τις λέξεις για να με ανακαλύψω. Οι σκέψεις μου χορεύουν στάζοντας μελάνι και δεν ξέρεις ποτέ τι θα σχηματίσουν τα βήματά τους. Η αδυναμία μου είναι οι όμορφες ψυχές. Μυρωδιές, μουσικές, εικόνες χρωματίζουν την καθημερινότητα μου. Στόχος μου είναι η αυτοβελτίωση γι’ αυτό συχνά αλλάζω αφήνοντας πίσω ότι στέκεται εμπόδιο ανάμεσα σε μένα και τον εαυτό μου.

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feautured

Η Ελλάδα πάντα από κάπου αιμορραγεί.

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Της Δικαίας Μαραβέλια.

Αγαπητέ μου Έλληνα, ξέρεις από τότε που η Ελλαδίτσα μας θυμάται τον εαυτό της, πάντα από κάπου αιμορραγεί.
Τραβάς εσύ από την μια, τραβούν οι υπόλοιποι από την άλλη και τώρα είναι η ώρα που χρειάζεται την καλύτερη περίθαλψη γιατί αιμορραγεί στο κέντρο της.
Οι αξίες μας, ο πολιτισμός μας, η ψυχή μας, εμείς οι ίδιοι αφήσαμε να μας τα πάρουν… και τώρα απαιτείς να στα επιστρέψουν. 
Φοβάσαι να πεις δημόσια, ότι φοβάσαι για τα παιδιά σου;
Ξέρεις φοβάμαι, που φοβάσαι. Φοβάμαι που νομίζεις ότι τα θέματα που απασχολούν ολόκληρο τον πλανήτη δεν σε απασχολούν.
Ναι ζούμε στην πιο ευλογημένη χώρα στο κόσμο, στην χώρα της δημοκρατίας, στην χώρα που κάνουμε ποστ μόνο, τις σοφίες των σοφών μας, χωρίς να γνωρίζουμε το βαθύτερο νόημα τους.
Φοβάμαι… αλλά είμαι αισιόδοξη. Για τα παιδιά ρε, για τα παιδιά μας!

αναπνοές

Δικαία Μαραβέλια

Η Δικαία Μαραβέλια ζει μόνιμα στη Σύμη.
Μεγαλωμένη και κανακεμένη, στα γόνατα του παπά Τάσου, με ιερή στιγμή αυτή που την τάϊζε γλυκό σταφύλι με τόση ευλάβεια, σαν να ήταν κοινωνία.
Τον έβλεπε πάντα να γράφει όταν δεν λειτουργούσε.
Τώρα έφτασε η ώρα να ακολουθήσει τα χνάρια του, συντροφιά με τους αγγέλους της.

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