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Ζωγράφισα μιαν αλλιώτικη γυναίκα. Μοναδική και σπάνια όπως η ίδια η ζωή.
Της Ευτυχίας Παπούλια
Με ρώτησαν για τη γυναίκα, να τους πω πώς μοιάζει, μήπως ψάχνουν σε λάθος μονοπάτια και μένουν χωρίς αγάπη και τη μισή κουβέρτα να σκεπάζει τα βράδια ένα μισό άδειο στρώμα… Μου είπαν να τους πω, πώς θα την ξεχωρίσουν μέσα στο πλήθος, να ξέρουν να τρέξουν ξωπίσω της μήπως και την προλάβουν…
Κι εγώ, έψαξα μέσα σε πανομοιότυπα καχεκτικά κορμιά , τρέσες ξανθιές και νύχια κόκκινα που θυμίζουν τις μάγισσες των παραμυθιών, να βρω εκείνη που μοιάζει με την καλή πριγκίπισσα που στο τέλος αγαπιέται από το όμορφο βασιλόπουλο που πέφτε στα πόδια του κάθε λογής κορίτσι.
Έψαξα μιαν αλλιώτικη, να μυρίζει αγνότητα, αθωότητα, κάτι γένους θηλυκού, να θελήσω να σταθώ απέναντι και να την κοιτάζω προσπαθώντας να ονομάσω αυτό που βγαίνει από τα μάτια της και σε μαγεύει. Μα δυσκολεύτηκα τόσο και άρχισα να τη ζωγραφίζω στο χαρτί και να γράφω για κείνη... Τη γυναίκα, όπως την έπλασε ο Θεός πριν έρθει ο διάβολος και πιάσει τόπο στο κορμί και την ψυχή της.
Της έφτιαξα όμορφα μαλλιά ως τον ώμο, πυκνά φρύδια και λίγο κόκκινο κραγιόν στα χείλη. Το φόρεμα ως το γόνατο και το γοβάκι χαμηλό σε απαλό ροζ, να δένει με τα μάγουλα της που είναι φρέσκα και φωνάζουν πως αγαπούν τον ήλιο και τη ζωή. Μυρίζει λεβάντα και τα βήματα της ακολουθούν κάποιες νότες που μόνο εκείνη ακούει… Δεν ξέρει να βρίσει, να θυμώσει, να υψώσει φωνή σαν άγαρμπο αρσενικό. Στα μάτια της χάνεσαι, αν αντέξεις να μπεις θα περπατήσεις σε κήπους που οδηγούν στις πύλες του κάστρου που κρύβονται οι νεράιδες μέχρι τη δύση , γιατί ύστερα αρχίζουν το σεργιάνι.
Πάντα κοκέτα, όλοι τη χαζεύουν και της σφυρίζουν μα εκείνη με το χαμόγελο τους κόβει τη λαλιά που θέλουν να βγάλουν , γιατί φυλά την καρδιά της για έναν- γι αυτόν που θα αφήνει με τις ώρες να της αραδιάζει κοπλιμέντα… Κάθε της κίνηση, σα χορευτική φιγούρα. Τα δάχτυλα της σα να υφαίνουν κάθε φορά που τα κουνά για να πιάσει την κούπα της. Σαν κάτσεις μαζί της να πιεις καφέ, το κινητό της θα ναι στην άκρη και θα προσέχει όσα έχεις να της πεις, μην τύχει και μπορέσει να σου χαρίσει μία απ’ τις συμβουλές της. Δε θα ναι απ’ τις διαθέσιμες, θα την αναζητήσεις πολλές φορές για να σου δώσει από τις ώρες της, όχι γιατί δεν είσαι κομμάτι της ζωής της, μα γιατί δε χαραμίζει τον πολύτιμο χρόνο της σε καφέ και μπαρ, με τα πεινασμένα γύρω αρσενικά να γδύνουν με τα μάτια τους το κορμί της.
Δε συγκινείται από δώρα ακριβά και ανόητες φιλοφρονήσεις, δεν την αγγίζουν οι καψούρες που ζουν για κείνη οι ωραίοι της γειτονιάς. Δείχνει να ναι σκληρή, παίρνεις όρκο πως δάκρυ δεν της φεύγει, πως δε θα αγαπήσει ποτέ.
Μα όταν τον βρει τον άντρα που ονειρεύτηκε, θα του μάθει τις φιγούρες και θα γίνει χαλί να χορεύει πάνω της εκείνος. Θα γκρεμίσει το κάστρο να βγουν οι νεράιδες να τον φυλάνε. Θα τον προκαλεί με την αγάπη της, χωρίς φθηνά κόλπα κι εγωισμούς. Θα τον υπακούει, θα τον φροντίζει , αν της θυμώσει θα τον γλυκάνει με ένα φιλί. Ποτέ δε θα του κρύψει την αλήθεια, ούτε θα τον πουλήσει, γιατί θα είναι ο πιο όμορφος άντρας στη γη.
Γιατί η αληθινή γυναίκα, δε θα επέλεγε τίποτα λιγότερο από αυτό. Και θα τον κρατούσε για πάντα.
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Αν γεννηθούν οι ελπίδες, δεν πεθαίνουν ποτέ.
Είμαστε ανόητοι οι άνθρωποι. Πραγματικά ανόητοι. Ζούμε για το χάος. Το χρειαζόμαστε, το κυνηγάμε, το βάζουμε σκοπό ζωής, αστέρι-οδηγό. Χρειαζόμαστε το δράμα για να είμαστε ευτυχισμένοι. Το αποζητάμε σαν τρελοί, λες και δεν ξέρουμε πως τρέχουμε ολοταχώς προς την καταστροφή. Μακάρι να μην ξέραμε, τότε θα ήμασταν απλώς αθώοι. Ένοχοι είμαστε κι εθελοτυφλούμε και κλείνουμε τα μάτια, λες και θα αλλάξει κάτι. Τίποτα δε θα αλλάξει. Ο γκρεμός ακόμη μπροστά μας κι εμείς με μια βουτιά να πέφτουμε χωρίς να παίρνουμε ούτε ανάσα.
Λένε πως η ελπίδα πεθαίνει πάντα τελευταία. Το θέμα είναι ποιον σκοτώνει για να επιβιώσει. Εμένα σκοτώνει, κι εσένα, και κάθε άλλο ανόητο σαν εμάς που κρατιέται πάνω της σαν σωσίβιο στον απέραντο ωκεανό. Ναι, ακόμη δε βουλιάξαμε. Άραγε για πόσο ακόμη;
Ξέρεις κάτι, όμως; Δεν τη γέννησα εγώ αυτή την ελπίδα. Δεν τη φύτεψα εγώ μέσα μου και δεν την πότιζα εγώ κάθε πρωί. Άλλος τη γέννησε, άλλος τη μεγάλωσε και την παράτησε μετά σε μένα να την προσέχω λες κι ήμουν μάνα της. Να την πάρεις πίσω την ελπίδα σου. Έτσι όπως μου την έδωσες, έτσι να την πάρεις πίσω. Να την κάνεις ό,τι θες, να τη σκοτώσεις, να τη ξεμαλλιάσεις, να την αφήσεις μόνη να μαραίνεται.
Άλλα φυσικά, δεν μπορείς εσύ να κάνεις κάτι τέτοιο. Στα μάτια σου είσαι καλός και το χειρότερο είναι πως στα δικά μου είσαι καλύτερος. Γι’ αυτό την έδωσες σε μένα, ήξερες πως εγώ θα τη φύλαγα μέσα μου σαν όνειρο, θα την κρατούσα και θα ζούσα μέσα από κείνη. Μέσα απ’ την ελπίδα τη δικιά σου. Το δικό σου δημιούργημα το λάτρεψα και το έκανα δικό μου. Να μη μου το ‘δινες ποτέ.
Πολλές φορές αναρωτιόμαστε τι συμβαίνει με εκείνους τους ανθρώπους που ξυπνούν έρωτες κι ύστερα χάνονται. Τόσο εγωιστές; Τόσο φαντασμένοι; Τόσο ανώριμοι, γελοίοι και φριχτοί; Παρακαλάς άδικα για ένα λεπτό στο αναθεματισμένο κεφάλι τους μπας και καταλάβεις. Ποτέ δε θα καταλάβεις, να το ξέρεις. Όσο πιο εύκολα τους ερωτεύεσαι τόσο πιο εύκολα θα σε πληγώσουν. Είναι σχεδόν προγραμματισμένο να συμβεί ένα γεγονός που θα τους τραβήξει μακριά σου. Και μετά, εσύ καημένε, προσπαθείς να βγάλεις άκρη. Άσ’ το, το παιχνίδι είναι χαμένο.
Η παράσταση τελείωσε κι ο καθένας έπαιξε τον ρόλο του. Τώρα εσύ που νόμισες πως δεν υπάρχει αυλαία, κακό του κεφαλιού σου. Δεν πρόσεξες τα ψεύτικα σκηνικά και τα έντονα φώτα; Ή μήπως τα πέρασες για αληθινά; Ψεύτικα ήταν, όμως, απ’ την αρχή· χαρτόνια και μπογιές και μουσαμάδες. Αυτός ήταν ο έρωτάς σου. Φτιαγμένος να κρατήσει δύο ώρες, να χαρεί το σόου και να διαλυθεί. Καλά, τις μάσκες δεν τις πρόσεξες;
Ανοίγουμε καρδιές και ξεχνάμε να κλειδώσουμε πίσω μας. Μπαίνει όποιος θέλει, λάμπει και χάνεται κι αφήνει εμάς να ψάχνουμε λίγο απ’ το φως του. Γιατί τι άλλο να θελήσουμε πέρα από ‘κείνο το φως, πιο σπουδαίο από κάθε λάμπα που είχε ανάψει μέχρι τώρα; Το περιμένουμε για μέρες, για μήνες, για χρόνια ατέλειωτα να επιστρέψει. Κι ας τολμήσει κάποιος να ζητήσει εξηγήσεις. Κανείς δε φταίει που αγάπησε το φως. Ούτε που το περίμενε. Και στο ξελόγιασμα ποιος φταίει; Αυτός που ξελογιάζει ή αυτός που ξελογιάζεται;
Ελπίδες, καταραμένες, αθάνατες, τυφλές ελπίδες. Αν γεννηθούν, μετά δεν πρόκειται να πεθάνουν πότε. Θα μείνουν εκεί, θα κατακλύσουν σώμα, μυαλό, καρδιά και θα αφήσουν τα σημάδια τους πάνω στις απονήρευτες ψυχές. Μα δεν τις θέλουμε τις ελπίδες, όχι πια, μας εξάντλησαν. Άραγε μπορούμε να τις σκοτώσουμε εμείς, μπορούμε να πνίξουμε τις πεταλούδες;
Για δες, σχεδόν γίναμε εμείς οι κακοί της ιστορίας. Φυσικά, λες ελπίδα και σκέφτεσαι λευκά περιστέρια κι ελευθερία. Ελευθερία; Πιο ισχυρά δεσμά από κείνα που φτιάχνουν οι ελπίδες δε θα βρεις. Ούτε να τα λύσεις, ούτε να τα κόψεις, ούτε να τα σπάσεις. Δεμένος μια ζωή.
Ξέχασες, όμως, τι σου είπα. Ο άνθρωπος είναι ανόητος. Τον έχεις εκεί δεμένο κι εκείνος χαίρεται. Περιμένει το θαύμα. Περιμένει πως εκείνος θα γυρίσει. Πως θα τολμήσει, πως θα ρισκάρει, πως θα πραγματοποιήσει όλα εκείνα τα αμέτρητα όνειρα. Αμ δε. Τίποτα δε θα κάνει. Θα είχε γίνει ήδη αν ήταν το γραφτό του. Τίποτα δεν είναι κι εσύ ακόμη χαίρεσαι κι ελπίζεις. Τα δεμένα χέρια ούτε που σε νοιάζουν, σχεδόν τα επιδεικνύεις χαρούμενος στους άλλους. Κάποτε έβλεπες, μα τώρα έγινες τυφλός, σαν τις ελπίδες σου.
Κι αν μία φορά κατάφερες κι έλυσες τα ξόρκια, μη χαίρεσαι πολύ. Στον επόμενο έρωτα πάλι θα πέσεις στα ίδια μάγια, πάλι θα περιμένεις και θα στρώσεις κόκκινα χαλιά. Δε γίνεται αλλιώς, έχουμε γεννηθεί διψώντας για όλο αυτό το χάος, για την ταλαιπωρία και την ανάγκη να κυνηγάμε το άπιαστο, το φευγαλέο. Μια ζωή θα ελπίζουμε και μια ζωή θα τρώμε τα μούτρα μας. Ας είναι. Το χάος πάντα είναι όμορφο.
Γράφει η Νεφέλη Κομματά
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Η ζωή είναι δική μου, παρ’ το χαμπάρι!
Της Κατερίνας Τσαμπά.
Τι κοινωνία είναι αυτή, που χαρακτηρίζει και στιγματίζει μια γυναίκα, όταν δεν έχει παντρευτεί, μέχρι την ηλικία που συνηθίζεται σύμφωνα με τις «κοινωνικές» επιταγές; Όταν έχει εμπειρίες; Όταν δε σηκώνει μύγα στο σπαθί της; Όταν παντρεύεται, αλλά δεν κάνει παιδιά;
Τι κοινωνία είναι αυτή, που εν έτει 2017, χαρακτηρίζεται με ειδεχθή επίθετα επειδή θα υποστηρίξει τα πιστεύω της; Γιατί; Επειδή είναι γυναίκα και η θέση της είναι αλλού; Στην κουζίνα πχ; Ας καγχάσω!
Θα περίμενες, και φυσιολογικά εδώ που τα λέμε, τα μυαλά των ανθρώπων να έχουν ανοίξει. Θα περίμενες ότι ο κόσμος θα ήθελε να διευρύνει το νου του. Τόσοι τρόποι υπάρχουν. Το διάβασμα, τα ταξίδια αλλά φευ!
Εγώ παντρεύτηκα στα 44,5 μου! Γούστο μου και καπέλο μου. Και ήμουν τυχερή που ταιριάξαμε με τον σύντροφό μου μιας και συναντηθήκαμε μόλις πριν δυο χρόνια. Για φαντάσου, πόσο δύσκολο είναι να ταιριάξεις με έναν άνθρωπο γενικά και σκέψου πόσο πιο δύσκολο γίνεται αυτό μεγαλώνοντας.
Μέχρι να γνωρίσω τον άντρα μου, είχα ακούσει πολλά! Μέχρι το μνημειώδες «ποιος θα σε πάρει εσένα» σε μια λογομαχία με γείτονα! Επειδή τόλμησα να του πω κατάμουτρα την αλήθεια. «Πότε θα φάμε κουφέτα από σένα, Κατερίνα;» Και άλλα διάφορα αστεία!
Από τότε που παντρεύτηκα όμως, λες και όλοι αλλάξανε τον τρόπο που με βλέπουν και συμπεριφέρονται. Σαν με περισσότερη εκτίμηση, σαν ότι αποκαταστάθηκε το όνομα μου στην κοινωνία και αυτό το τελευταίο είναι το μόνιμό μας αστείο με τον άντρα μου. Τον ευχαριστώ, που με αποκατάστησε στην κοινωνία! Χα χα.
Τι ξέρεις εσύ γείτονα, συγγενή ή γνωστέ, για τη ζωή μου; Που ξέρεις τι έχω περάσει για να φτάσω εδώ; Τι δοκιμασίες πέρασα ή όχι; Στην τελική μπορεί να είναι επιλογή μου να μένω ελεύθερη μέχρι την ηλικία που εσύ πιστεύεις ότι θα έπρεπε να «έχω κάνει κάτι με τη ζωή μου». Τι σε νοιάζει στην τελική;;!
Η ζωή μου είναι δική μου, την αξιοποιώ όπως επιθυμώ και κανένας, ούτε ο γονιός μου, δεν έχει λόγο! Αυτά και χαιρετίσματα σε όλους εκείνους που σκύβουν το κεφάλι κάθε που τους πληγώνουν οι ανίδεοι! Εγώ λέω, σηκώστε το κεφάλι και «βγαλ΄ τε τους τη γλώσσα»! Έτσι, για την αλητεία!
- Έγινες η ηρωίδα της ζωής σου και δεν έχεις ανάγκη κανέναν! - 15 November 2017
- Το να παραδεχτώ πως έχω τις ανάγκες μου πιο πάνω, δεν με κάνει κακό άνθρωπο. - 8 November 2017
- Εσείς κορίτσια πόσες «φίλες» και φίλες έχετε; - 1 November 2017
- Η ζωή είναι δική μου, παρ’ το χαμπάρι! - 25 October 2017
- Το να μιλάς όμορφα στους άλλους δε σε κάνει αδύναμο, το αντίθετο! - 11 October 2017
- Είμαστε αυτό που πράττουμε, όχι αυτό που λέμε. - 4 October 2017
- Να προσφέρεις, αλλά μην ξοδεύεσαι και χαθείς. - 27 September 2017
- Εκείνοι οι άνθρωποι που είναι ένα χαμόγελο ολόκληροι. - 20 September 2017
- Εαυτέ μου χαμογέλα και όλα θα πάνε καλά. - 13 September 2017
- Υπομονή, αυτή η υπερτιμημένη αλλά συνάμα αναγκαία. - 6 September 2017
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Μη ζεις τη ζωή σου θιγμένος από τα πάντα.
Υπάρχουν απλώς κάποιοι άνθρωποι που ζουν τη ζωή τους θιγμένοι από τα πάντα. Αντί να επιτρέπουν στον εαυτό τους να ζει με αρμονία και με σεβασμό για τους άλλους, επιλέγουν να βρίσκονται «με την πλάτη στον τοίχο» σχεδόν πάντα.
Είναι ο κόσμος πάντα εναντίον τους; Όχι. Αυτό που συμβαίνει είναι ότι, μέσα στο λεπτό αλλά περίπλοκο κόσμο των συναισθημάτων και της προσωπικότητας, μερικοί άνθρωποι έχουν τη συνήθεια να είναι μονίμως θιγμένοι.
Αντί να αντιμετωπίζουμε τους ανθρώπους αυτούς ως ένα πρόβλημα που πρέπει να αποφύγουμε, πρέπει να καταλάβουμε τι συμβαίνει μέσα τους.
Η υπερευαισθησία, η χαμηλή αυτοεκτίμηση και η έλλειψη ψυχολογικών πόρων δημιουργεί σχήματα σκέψης που είναι υπερβολικά άκαμπτα.
Κάθε λέξη, πράξη ή χειρονομία ερμηνεύεται ως προσβολή. Εκεί βρίσκεται η ουσία του προβλήματος. Αυτός ο μειωμένος εαυτός βλέπει προβλήματα εκεί που δεν υπάρχουν και προκαταλήψεις εκεί που δεν υφίστανται.
Μερικές προσωπικότητες βλέπουν καταιγίδες εκεί που λάμπει ο ήλιος. Ας ρίξουμε μια λίγο πιο προσεκτική ματιά σε αυτό το θέμα.
Θιγμένοι 24 ώρες τη μέρα, 7 μέρες την εβδομάδα
«Δεν μπορώ καν να σου μιλήσω». «Θίγεσαι από τα πάντα». «Είσαι απίστευτος, πας από το κακό στο χειρότερο».
Αν έχετε ήδη ακούσει κάτι από τα παραπάνω στο παρελθόν, πιθανώς αισθανθήκατε απαίσια. Ωστόσο τα λόγια αυτά φέρουν κάποια αλήθεια.
Αν οι άνθρωποι γύρω μας έχουν πρόβλημα στην αλληλεπίδραση μαζί μας, αυτό συμβαίνει επειδή κάτι δεν πάει καλά. Αν αισθάνονται άβολα ή αν υπάρχουν συχνά προβλήματα λόγω παρεξηγήσεων, είναι σημαντικό να καταλάβουμε γιατί.
- Αντί να σκέφτεστε «όλοι με μισούν», θυμηθείτε τη σημασία του να αφιερώσετε μια στιγμή για να σκεφτείτε βαθιά την κατάσταση.
- Πρέπει να ξεφλουδίσουμε το κρεμμύδι που μας περιβάλλει για να δούμε τι συμβαίνει μέσα μας.
Παρακάτω θα ανακαλύψουμε τι συμβαίνει σε όσους συνεχώς παίρνουν τα πάντα προσωπικά και αισθάνονται θιγμένοι.
Σας θίγουν οι προσδοκίες σας, όχι οι άλλοι άνθρωποι
Ίσως έχετε υψηλές προσδοκίες που δεν αντιστοιχούν στην πραγματικότητα. Κατά κάποιον τρόπο όλοι έχουμε κάποια ιδέα για το πώς πιστεύουμε ότι θα πρέπει να ενεργούν οι άλλοι, πώς θα πρέπει να μας φέρονται και πώς θα πρέπει να αντιδρούν στα πράγματα.
Καταρχάς θα πρέπει να επισημάνουμε ότι οι παρακάτω προσεγγίσεις δεν καλύπτουν όλες τις καταστάσεις. Ας δούμε γιατί.
- Το μοναδικό πράγμα που πρέπει να γνωρίζετε είναι το πώς θέλετε να σας φέρονται οι άλλοι άνθρωποι. Αξίζετε σεβασμό και πρέπει να τον απαιτείτε. Όλοι έχουν αυτή την ανάγκη.
- Αυτό που κάνουν οι άλλοι άνθρωποι δεν είναι δική σας ευθύνη. Όλοι είναι ελεύθεροι να επιλέγουν τι θέλουν και να ενεργούν όπως τους ευχαριστεί, εφόσον υπάρχει αμοιβαίος σεβασμός.
- Αν αποκτήσουμε εμμονή με τις ενέργειες του/της συντρόφου μας ή των φίλων μας, αυτό μπορεί να έχει μόνο κακό τέλος για μας.
Για να εξασφαλίσετε γαλήνη και μεγαλύτερη εσωτερική ισορροπία, έχετε υπόψη σας το εξής: να μην περιμένετε τίποτα από κανέναν, να έχετε προσδοκίες μονάχα από τον εαυτό σας.
Ο κόσμος δεν είναι εναντίον σας: εσείς πρέπει να εναρμονιστείτε με τον κόσμο.
Όσοι ζουν τη ζωή τους μονίμως θιγμένοι μπορούν να συγκριθούν με τον κορμό ενός δέντρου. Για να καταλάβετε τι εννοούμε, φανταστείτε το εξής:
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