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Μελίνα Μερκούρη : Η τελευταία Ελληνίδα θεά

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Το μεγαλύτερο κοπλιμέντο για εμένα είναι να με σταματούν στον δρόμο και να με αποκαλούν ‘Μελίνα μας’. Είναι ό,τι πιο τρυφερό υπάρχει, να είμαι κτήμα όλων”. Με αυτά τα δικά της λόγια θα ξεκινήσω να σας μιλώ για εκείνη. Για τη γυναίκα που έκανε όλο τον πλανήτη να μιλά για εκείνη, να μαγεύεται από τα λόγια της, να περιμένει το τεράστιο και ειλικρινές χαμόγελό της, να λατρεύει την βαθιά όλο γρέζι φωνή της.

Η Μελίνα κατάφερε να μην χρειάζεται συστάσεις, να είναι πλήρως αναγνωρίσιμη στο άκουσμα του μικρού της ονόματος και μόνο. Η Μελίνα της ”Στέλλας”, η Μελίνα του ”Ποτέ την Κυριακή”, η Μελίνα των μαρμάρων του Παρθενώνα, η Μελίνα της Ελλάδας, των Ελλήνων, η Μελίνα μας.

Στις 18 του Οκτώβρη του 1920 σε ένα αριστοκρατικό αρχοντικό επί της οδού Τσακάλωφ στο Κολωνάκι γεννιέται η Μαρία Αμαλία Μερκούρη. Η οικογένεια της αποτελείται από επιφανή μέλη της κοινωνίας. Ο πατέρας της διατελεί βουλευτής και ο παππούς της Σπύρος για 11 χρόνια θα παραμείνει στη θέση του δημάρχου Αθηναίων. Ο παππούς Σπύρος είναι το σήμα κατατεθέν της, η διαρκής αναφορά της, το πρότυπό της.

”Με έμαθε να λατρεύω την Ελλάδα, να είμαι γενναία, να μην λογαριάζω τα χρήματα. Ήταν μεγάλη ντροπή για εκείνον τα χρήματα. Μου έμαθε το παραμύθι της ζωής. Μου εμφύσησε την ιδέα πως η Ελλάδα, η Αθήνα είναι κορυφή” θα πει η ίδια σε συνέντευξή της ενώ τα τεράστια εκφραστικά της μάτια λάμπουν από τα δάκρυα που ανεβαίνουν.

Από πολύ μικρή δείχνει τη διαφορετικότητά της. Είναι ατίθαση, ισχυρή και αντιδραστική. Οι συμμαθήτριές της παίζουν με κούκλες κι εκείνη σε ηλικία πέντε ετών στέκεται μπροστά σε έναν καθρέφτη κάνοντας την πρώτη θεατρική της πρόβα.

Η Μελίνα θα έχει μία πολυτάραχη ζωή και τα πρώτα δείγματα που θα συνθέσουν το παζλ θα δοθούν πάρα πολύ νωρίς. Λες και κάποια ανώτερη δύναμη βάλθηκε να αποδείξει πως το ψηλό κορίτσι με τα μακριά ξανθά μαλλιά θα καταρρίψει τα στερεότυπα. Μόλις 14 ετών ερωτεύεται τον ηθοποιό Σπύρο Παππά και τρία χρόνια αργότερα στα 17 της σαγηνεύει τον Πάνο Χαροκόπο.

Ο Χαροκόπος την ερωτεύεται τρελά αλλά υπάρχει ένα μικρό πρόβλημα στο εν εξελίξει love story. Ο Χαροκόπος είναι παντρεμένος. Η γυναίκα του αρνείται να του δώσει διαζύγιο έτσι απλά. Θα χρειαστεί να της παραχωρήσει μία πολυκατοικία στη Διδότου για να λυθούν τα δεσμά. Μελίνα και Πάνος κλέβονται χωρίς επεξηγήσεις στις οικογένειές τους. Η Μελίνα δεν έχει μάθει να δίνει αναφορά σε κανέναν.

Τη ζητά σε γάμο κι εκείνη θέτει έναν όρο. Θα έλεγε το μεγάλο ναι μόνο αν της παραχωρούσε γραπτή και υπογεγραμμένη άδεια να γραφτεί σε σχολή θεάτρου. Μπροστά της φαντάζει μικρός, δεν μπορεί να της αρνηθεί τίποτα. Εννοείται πως ο όρος της γίνεται δεκτός.

Με ένα λακωνικό τηλεγράφημα προς την οικογένειά της θα γνωστοποιήσει την απόφασή της. ”Γάμος ετελέσθη”. Το τηλεγράφημα είναι ψευδές. Θα παντρευτούν μία εβδομάδα μετά την αποστολή στην Καλαμάτα. Τον Σεπτέμβριο του 1938 γίνεται δεκτή στη Δραματική Σχολή του Εθνικού Θεάτρου. Το όνειρο έχει ήδη ξεκινήσει.

”Η Γκάρμπο είναι το πλάσμα για το οποίο έγινα θεατρίνα” θα πει και θα ανέβει στις περισσότερες θεατρικές σκηνές της Ευρώπης. Το σινεμά θα την κερδίσει πολύ γρήγορα.

Το 1955 είναι χρονιά ορόσημο για την καριέρα, τη ζωή και την ύπαρξή της. Ο Μιχάλης Κακογιάννης την επιλέγει για τον πρωταγωνιστικό ρόλο της ”Στέλλας”. Παίζει στο πλευρό του Γιώργου Φούντα, γίνεται σύμβολο και αλλάζει μια για πάντα την ιστορία του κινηματογράφου. Η υποψηφιότητα για το πρώτο βραβείο ερμηνείας στις Κάννες έρχεται για να ενισχύσει την άποψη πως η Μελίνα είναι συγκλονιστική.

Η άνοιξη του ’55 τη βρίσκει να πατά το κόκκινο χαλί των Καννών. Το έχει σχεδόν σίγουρο πως θα κερδίσει. Το έχει υποσχεθεί στους Έλληνες. Το βραβείο δε δίνεται σε καμία εκείνη τη χρονιά γιατί η Μελίνα και η αντίπαλός της θεωρούνται ισάξιες. Το τέλος της βραδιάς τη βρίσκει να κλαίει σε μία αίθουσα κατάμεστη όταν μπροστά της εμφανίστηκε εκείνος.

Ήταν έρωτας με την πρώτη ματιά. Η μοιραία συνάντηση που θα άλλαζε τη ζωή της για πάντα. Στις Κάννες το ’55 είδε το πεπρωμένο της με σάρκα και οστά. Ο Ζυλ Ντασσέν έχει πια συνδεθεί με τη Μελίνα με τρόπο μαγικό.

”Τον κινηματογράφο ο Τζούλης μου τον έμαθε. Μου έμαθε τα πάντα” θα ακούσουμε να λέει. Ο Ντασσέν θα παραμείνει μαζί της μέχρι το τέλος. Το 1966 θα πάρει διαζύγιο από τη γυναίκα του και θα παντρευτεί τον έρωτα της ζωής του.

Στις Κάννες θα επιστρέψουν μαζί το 1960 για να προκαλέσουν πανικό. Στα τέσσερα σημεία του ορίζοντα γνωρίζουν το συρτάκι, τα παιδιά του Πειραιά και φυσικά την Μελίνα. Το ”Ποτέ την Κυριακή” είναι η ταινία που την καταξιώνει. Πέντε υποψηφιότητες για Όσκαρ ανάμεσά τους ο πρώτος γυναικείος ρόλος. Χάνει από την Ελίζαμπεθ Τέιλορ όμως ο Χατζηδάκις κερδίζει για τη μουσική.

Όλα τα διεθνή μέσα μιλούν για τους Έλληνες και το γλέντι που έστησαν. Ο Γιώργος Ζαμπέτας παίζει μπουζούκι, η Μελίνα χορεύει συρτάκι και ο Ντασσέν σπάει πιάτα. Λέγεται πως έσπασαν πάνω από 4000 εκείνο το βράδυ.

Είναι η πρωταγωνίστρια της προσωπικής και επαγγελματικής ζωής του. Η Μελίνα το 1961 ενσαρκώνει τη ”Φαίδρα”. Τα γυρίσματα εντός του Βρετανικού Μουσείου στην αίθουσα που εκτίθενται τα μάρμαρα του Παρθενώνα θα σημάνουν την αρχή ενός αέναου αγώνα.

Η Χούντα θα φρενάρει τα σχέδιά της, αφαιρώντας της την ελληνική ιθαγένεια. Θα αυτοεξοριστεί στο Παρίσι για να επιστρέψει μετά την πτώση της ύστερα από παρότρυνση του Ανδρέα Παπανδρέου. Αποτελεί ιδρυτικό μέλος του Πανελλήνιου Σοσιαλιστικού Κινήματος και το 1974 ο Παπανδρέου της ζητά να κατέβει υποψήφια στη Β’ περιφέρεια Πειραιά.

Χάνει την έδρα για 33 ψήφους αλλά τον Νοέμβρη του ’77 εκλέγεται. Το 1981 η Μελίνα ορκίζεται υπουργός πολιτισμού. Διατηρεί το αξίωμά της ως το τέλος της πρώτης οκταετίας των κυβερνήσεων Παπανδρέου, μένοντας αλώβητη σε κάθε ανασχηματισμό.

Η Μελίνα ήταν χαρισματική, ήταν κάτι παραπάνω από ξεκάθαρο. Έβαζε το κορμί της μπροστά χωρίς να υπολογίζει τις συνέπειες. Ήταν παρορμητική, δυναμική, καθηλωτική. Δεν λογάριαζε πρωτόκολλα και τύπους. Με ένα τσιγάρο στο χέρι μπορούσε να καταφέρει τα πάντα. Μάγευε άμα τη εμφανίσει της. Περνούσε το κατώφλι και όλα τα μάτια μαγνητίζονταν. Υπουργοί, βουλευτές και αρχηγοί κρατών έπεφταν στα πόδια της.

Τον Ιούλιο του 1982 στη Διεθνή Διάσκεψη Υπουργών Πολιτισμού της Unesco στο Μεξικό θέτει για πρώτη φορά επίσημα θέμα επιστροφής των μαρμάρων.

”Υπάρχουν τα Μάρμαρα του Παρθενώνα. Δεν υπάρχουν Ελγίνεια Μάρμαρα. Όπως υπάρχει ο Δαβίδ του Michael Angelo, υπάρχει η Αφροδίτη του Da Vinci, υπάρχει ο Ερμής του Πραξιτέλη, υπάρχουν οι Ψαράδες στη θάλασσα του Turner, υπάρχει η Capella Sixtina. Δεν υπάρχουν Ελγίνεια Μάρμαρα” θα φωνάζει μέχρι τέλους.

Για εκείνη το πολυτιμότερο πράγμα πάνω στη γη είναι η ελευθερία. Θέλει να είναι ελεύθερη. Όλη της τη ζωή παλεύει για να το καταφέρει. Σιχαίνεται τους δοτούς ρόλους και τα στενά καλούπια. Η πληθωρική της προσωπικότητα δε χωρά πουθενά. Είναι ελεύθερη και ταυτόχρονα δέσμια της αγαπημένης της συνήθειας.

Το τσιγάρο που τόσο αγάπησε θα είναι κι αυτό που θα την οδηγήσει στον θάνατο. Η διάγνωση αναφέρει καρκίνο στον πνεύμονα. Είναι δυνατή γιατί όλοι είναι στο πλευρό της. ”Νόμιζα πως φοβόμουν την αρρώστια αλλά τελικά φοβάμαι τη στιγμή που δε θα με αγαπούν πια”. Δε θα συμβεί ποτέ, ο φόβος της δε θα γίνει ποτέ πραγματικότητα.

Ετοιμοθάνατη σε ένα κρεβάτι στο Memorial της Νέας Υόρκης θα ζητήσει ένα Asos. ”Από τη ζωή μέχρι το θάνατο ένα τσιγάρο δρόμος” θα πει αποστομωτικά στους γιατρούς που δυσανασχετούν. Το τσιγάρο γίνεται σύμβολο της ανυπότακτης ιδιοσυγκρασίας της και οι Έλληνες πιστοί ακόλουθοι της αύρας της.

Σβήνει ταλαιπωρημένη το απόγευμα της 6ης Μαρτίου του 1994. Η σορός της μεταφέρθηκε στην Αθήνα και εξετέθη σε λαϊκό προσκύνημα. Ήταν η πρώτη Ελληνίδα που κηδεύτηκε με τιμές αρχηγού κράτους και μία λαοθάλασσα την συνόδευσε στην τελευταία παράστασή της. Την ώρα της κηδείας της τα θέατρα και τα μαγαζιά στο Brodway παρέμειναν κλειστά ενώ η 6η Μαρτίου, ημέρα του θανάτου της, έχει ορισθεί από την Unesco ως παγκόσμια ημέρα Πολιτισμού.

Η τελευταία Ελληνίδα θεά, όπως την αποκαλεί η ιταλική Corriere della Sera, περνά εφ’ όρου ζωής στο συλλογικό ασυνείδητο. Η Μελίνα γίνεται μέρος της ιστορίας. Η Μελίνα είναι πια ιστορία.

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Η μουσική είναι παντού. Υπάρχουν λίγες καταστάσεις και στιγμές στην καθημερινότητά μας στις οποίες η μουσική δεν παίζει σημαντικό ρόλο. Είτε αθλείστε, οδηγείτε, περπατάτε ή ψωνίζετε – αν δεν χρησιμοποιούμε τα ακουστικά μας μόνοι μας, η μουσική υπόκρουση παίζει εξωτερικά. Η μουσική είναι ο παλμός κάθε πάρτι, όπου η επιλογή της λίστας αναπαραγωγής μπορεί να δώσει τον τόνο για ολόκληρη την εκδήλωση. Από έξω, η μουσική βιομηχανία μπορεί να φαίνεται διαφορετική, με αστέρια όπως ο Drake, η Lady Gaga ή οι Coldplay να γίνονται πρωτοσέλιδα κάθε μέρα. Και όμως, μια πιο προσεκτική ματιά δείχνει ότι αυτό δεν συνέβαινε πάντα και ότι η ποικιλομορφία στον κόσμο της μουσικής μπόρεσε πραγματικά να καθιερωθεί μόνο τα τελευταία χρόνια. Χάρη στο Spotify and Co., η μουσική είναι πάντα κοντά μας και προσβάσιμη από οπουδήποτε. Γιατί όμως μας αρέσει ακριβώς η ποικιλόμορφη πλευρά της μουσικής και γιατί είναι τόσο σημαντική η διαφοροποίηση;

Η μουσική δεν είναι περιχαρακωμένη

Η μουσική δεν είναι μόνο διασκεδαστική, έχει επίσης πολλά οφέλη και μας βοηθά να αναπτυχθούμε και να αναπτυχθούμε. Η μουσική παίζει ιδιαίτερο ρόλο, ειδικά όσον αφορά τα συναισθήματα και τις διαθέσεις. Μέσα από τη διαφοροποίηση της μουσικής, τελειώνει η περιχαράκωση. Διαφορετικά συναισθήματα και συναισθήματα μπορούν να μεταδοθούν μέσω της μουσικής. Η μουσική είναι φτιαγμένη για όλους και δεν σκέφτεται σε ομάδες. Αλλά ακόμη και αυτή η εξέλιξη συνεχίζεται, επειδή οι παραγωγοί εξακολουθούν να αναφέρουν ότι αποκλείονται από ορισμένους τομείς της μουσικής βιομηχανίας λόγω υποθέσεων με βάση την εθνικότητά τους.

Η μουσική είναι μια παγκόσμια γλώσσα που όλοι μπορούν να καταλάβουν. Συνδέει ηπείρους και ξεπερνά αποστάσεις και πολιτισμούς. Φτάνει στα βάθη των ανθρώπων μοιράζοντας ένα συναίσθημα, μια εμπειρία, μια ιδέα που πυροδοτεί μια εσωτερική κίνηση. Και αυτός ακριβώς είναι ο στόχος, η διαφοροποίηση της μουσικής.

Μουσική που σπάει με τη φόρμα

Μια συνταγή επιτυχίας στον κόσμο της μουσικής είναι να ρισκάρεις τη μουσική. Οι ερμηνευτές και οι καλλιτέχνες που είναι διαφορετικοί φαίνονται όλο και πιο επιτυχημένοι. Όσοι τολμούν να επανεφεύρουν τον εαυτό τους και τον κόσμο της μουσικής γίνονται όλο και πιο δημοφιλείς.

Μια ποικιλόμορφη κοινωνία

Η σημασία της διαφοροποίησης της μουσικής φαίνεται και από την εξέλιξη της κοινωνίας τα τελευταία χρόνια. Θέματα που γίνονται όλο και πιο παρόντα βρίσκονται επίσης όλο και περισσότερο στον κόσμο της μουσικής. Αστέρια όπως η Demi Lovato βγαίνουν ως μη δυαδικά και η Billie Eilish ενσαρκώνει επίσης τα φωτεινά χρώματα της κοινωνίας. Και με επιτυχία: χάρη σε αυτή τη μουσική , οι άνθρωποι αισθάνονται κατανοητοί και με αυτόν τον τρόπο δημιουργείται ένα μέρος όπου ο καθένας μπορεί να είναι όπως θέλει.

Μουσική στο iGaming

Το πόσο διαδεδομένη είναι η μουσική δείχνει το ερώτημα: Πού δεν είναι η μουσική; Σχεδόν κανένας τομέας της ζωής μας δεν μπορεί να φανταστεί κανείς χωρίς μουσική. Ακόμη και στον κόσμο των βίντεο κουλοχέρηδων  αμέτρητων βιβλιοθηκών τυχερών παιχνιδιών, η μουσική είναι ένα ουσιαστικό συστατικό. Ενώ υπάρχουν κουλοχέρηδες με θέμα τη μουσική, όπως το Music Stage, σε άλλα παιχνίδια η μουσική είναι ένα σημαντικό υπόβαθρο και παρέχει ενθουσιασμό και επιπλέον αδρεναλίνη. Η μουσική παρέχει επίσης τη σωστή αίσθηση στις ζωντανές στοές.

Χάρη στη μουσική

Έτσι, στο τέλος είναι απαραίτητο μόνο να ευχαριστήσουμε τη μουσική. Για τα συναισθήματα που νιώθουμε χάρη σε εκείνη και τις καταστάσεις που την κάνουν πολύ πιο έντονη. Τι θα ήμασταν χωρίς τη μουσική;

Listening to relaxing music can improve cognitive performance, study suggests

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Ενδιαφέροντα

Mανούλες σταματήστε να αυτοθυσιάζεστε για τα παιδάκια σας τα καταστρέφετε.

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Στο’ πα και στο ξαναλέω πως κάπου εκεί στις οδηγίες χρήσης ενός τεστ εγκυμοσύνης που αναφέρεται… «Αν εμφανιστούν οι μπλε γραμμούλες.. δηλαδή αν είστε έγκυος.. επισκεφτείτε τον γυναικολόγο σας» θα έπρεπε να υπήρχε υποσημείωση… επισκεφτείτε και τον ψυχολόγο σας!!

Δεν μπορείς να ακούς μα ούτε και να εξηγήσεις πως ο πιο σημαντικός άνθρωπος στην ζωή σου, η ίδια σου η μάνα, που σε ‘φερε στην ζωή, που θυσιάστηκε και θυσιάζεται για να ‘σαι συ καλά, που έκανε στην άκρη όλη της τη ζωή να μπει η δική σου μπροστά, πως εκείνη; πως μπορεί εκείνη να ναι η πηγή της δυστυχία σου. Δεν το χωρά ο νους σου και ούτε να το ακούς δεν θες….

Μα αυτή η αυταπάρνηση της μανούλας σου θα κάνει με τόση μαεστρία την δική σου την ψυχούλα να γεμίζει τύψεις και ενοχές κάθε που θα σηκώσεις κεφάλι από τα πρώτα σου χρόνια… γιατί η μαμά επειδή σε αγαπάει τα κάνει όλα δεν την λυπάσαι;  Κάνε αυτό που σου λέει αμέσως… Κοίτα, κοιτά πόσο την ταλαιπωρείς, κοιτά αναίσθητο παιδί που δεν καταλαβαίνεις πως όλα για σένα γίνονται.

Και έτσι εσύ καημένο μου παιδάκι και εγωκεντρικό γίνεσαι και υποτακτικό σε πάσα μορφή εξουσίας. Και στην αγάπη αρχίζεις να αισθάνεσαι υπόχρεος γιατί κάποιος κόβει κάτι από κείνον για να το δώσει σε σένα, δεν υπάρχει εκεί μονό για σένα και αναρωτιέσαι, άραγε την αξίζεις αυτή την αγάπη, άραγε υπάρχει πραγματικά κάτι μονό για μένα;;

Θυσιάζομαι για σένα λέει η μανούλα που πρέπει με το που θα μάθει πως θα σε φέρει στον κόσμο να ψυχαναλυθεί!

Να βρει το νόημα της δικής της ζωής να μην το γυρέψει μέσα από την δική σου την ζωή γιατί αλίμονο σου…

Δεν θα μάθεις ποτέ ποιος πραγματικά είσαι αφού θα μεγαλώνεις με τέτοιο τρόπο ώστε να ικανοποιήσεις αυτό που θα θελε να ναι η ίδια σου η μανούλα, θα σε φτιάξει έτσι ώστε να γίνεις αυτό που ‘θελε εκείνη και θα το δουλέψει πολύ από τότε που θα πας στα πρώτα σου σχολεία και αν εσύ αντισταθείς γιατί κάτι μέσα σου κλωτσήσει και δεν σου κάνει ετούτο το κουστούμι θα ακούσεις πως όλα γίνονται για το καλό σου και πως αυτό πρέπει να γίνει γιατί η μαμά κάνει αγώνα μεγάλο για να σου παρέχει όλα αυτά που εσύ πετάς και λες πως δεν τα θες κακομαθημένο!

Αγενέστατο παιδί και αχάριστο…. που δεν αναγνωρίζεις τίποτα…

Κοίτα με πόση δεξιοτεχνία, πόσο ύπουλα και χωρίς να το καταλάβεις, εσύ είσαι το πρόβλημα, εσύ έχεις τα προβλήματα που δεν καταλαβαίνεις τι είναι όλο αυτό που στήθηκε για σένα χωρίς εσένα;;

Γιατί ποιος είσαι εσύ άλλωστε…. Ποτέ σου δεν θα μάθεις..  Μόνο αν κάποια στιγμή τα καταθλιπτικά συμπτώματα ή το άγχος σε οδηγήσουν στον ψυχαναλυτή!

Και πάλι θα σου πάρει λίγο χρόνο πουλάκι μου μα την στιγμή που θα ανακαλύψεις ποιος είσαι θα ναι σαν σου κόλλησαν δυο φτερά στην πλάτη σαν αυτά που χουν οι άγγελοι και θα σαι ελεύθερος πια να πετάς.. θα είσαι εσύ ο γνήσιος και μοναδικός εαυτός σου και θα μπορείς να πετάς, να ανάπνεες και να απολαμβάνεις !

Την ζωή που σου ανήκει και που εσύ θα δημιουργήσεις.

Μπαρκάτσα Άρια, Ψυχολόγος

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Ενδιαφέροντα

Όσα δώσεις στο παιδί σου μέχρι τα 6, καθορίζουν την υπόλοιπη ζωή του!

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Έρευνες, μελέτες και σιγά σιγά η εμπειρία των προηγούμενων γενεών πιστοποιούν πια πως τα 6 πρώτα χρόνια ζωής ενός παιδιού προδιαγράφουν το μέλλον του.

Η υγιεινή διατροφή, τα πλούσια ερεθίσματα αλλά κυρίως η αγάπη των γονιών, ειδικά σε αυτά τα σημαντικά 6 χρόνια της ζωής, είναι ικανά ακόμα και να απενεργοποιήσουν τα γονίδια εκείνα που σχετίζονται με κάθε είδους ασθένεια, σωματική ή ψυχική. Τα νέα στοιχεία, κάνουν σκόνη την θεωρία που θέλει τα γονίδιά μας να είναι αυτά που κάνουν καθολικό κουμάντο. Τώρα ξέρουμε πως το περιβάλλον και ο τρόπος που μεγαλώνουμε είναι αυτά που μπορούν να επηρεάσουν τη ζωή μας. Αυτό δεν σημαίνει πως τα γονίδια δεν παίζουν το ρόλο τους, δεν ορίζουν όμως μόνο αυτά τη εξέλιξη της προσωπικότητάς μας.

Όπως και να έχει, το βασικό είναι πως επιβεβαιώνεται αυτό που όλοι υποψιαζόμασταν: πως η προσοχή, η αγάπη και η φροντίδα που δίνουμε σε ένα παιδί από τα πρώτα χρόνια της ζωής του καθορίζει σε τεράστιο βαθμό τη ζωή τους και ουσιαστικά αποτελεί ένα σημαντικό κληροδότημά μας προς εκείνα.

Στα πρώτα χρόνια της ζωής του το παιδί είναι όπως το μαλακό κερί, όπως το μαργαριτάρι, όπως η ζωγραφική, όπως η κατασκευή των αγαλμάτων. Κατ’ επέκτασιν, οι γονείς γίνονται ζωγράφοι, καλλιτέχνες, αγαλματοποιοί και κατασκευάζουν αυριανούς ανθρώπους.

Παλαιότερα τα παιδιά αντιμετωπίζονταν ή αδιάφορα ή στην καλύτερη περίπτωση ως μικρογραφία ενήλικα. Στην πορεία, άρχισε να αντιμετωπίζεται με μεγάλη προσοχή, γιατί το σημερινό παιδί είναι ο πρόδρομος του αυριανού ενήλικα. Το ψυχικά υγιές παιδί έχει πολύ περισσότερες πιθανότητες να είναι αύριο ένας υγιής ενήλικας. Αντίστοιχα, το κακοποιημένο και τραυματισμένο παιδί έχει μεγάλες πιθανότητες να είναι αύριο ένας προβληματικός, αντικοινωνικός και παραβατικός ενήλικας. Η ανατροφή και η διαπαιδαγώγηση του παιδιού από τα πρώτα χρόνια της ζωής του είναι μια υπερβολικά υπεύθυνη, επίπονη, χρονοβόρα και δύσκολη διαδικασία η οποία απαιτεί την ευαισθητοποίηση των γονέων, την αυταπάρνησή τους και την υπομονή τους. Πέρα από το ότι ολοκληρώνει τη μητέρα και τον πατέρα ως άτομα, προδιαγράφει τις σχέσεις των ανθρώπων του αύριο.

Ανατρέφω ένα παιδί, θα πει στην πράξη ότι το μορφώνω όπως γράφει η σύμβουλος σχολικού εκπαιδευτικού προσανατολισμού Β. Παππά. Η μητέρα είναι εκείνη που το εκπαιδεύει πως να πίνει νερό από το ποτήρι, πως να τρώει με το κουτάλι και το πηρούνι, πως να ντύνεται μόνο του, να πηγαίνει στην τουαλέτα. Επίσης, εκείνη το μαθαίνει να τακτοποιεί τα παιχνίδια του, να τα μοιράζεται με τα άλλα παιδιά και να σέβεται τα δικαιώματα του άλλου. Η μητέρα διδάσκει το παιδί της με διάφορους τρόπους. Χρησιμοποιεί το λόγο, την επίδειξη, του παραστέκεται με τη σωματική της δύναμη. Αν θέλει, όμως, να πετύχει στο έργο της, επιβάλλεται να προσαρμόζει τις προσδοκίες της σ’ αυτά που σωματικά, ψυχολογικά και διανοητικά, μπορεί το παιδί να μάθει. Είναι σημαντικό για τη μητέρα να γνωρίζει το ίδιο της το παιδί. Να ξέρει σε ποιο σημείο ανάπτυξης βρίσκεται κι αν είναι έτοιμο να μάθει, αυτό που προσπαθεί να του διδάξει.

Ο πιο εκδηλωτικός τρόπος να μεταδώσουμε την αγάπη μας στο παιδί είναι η σωματική επικοινωνία. Κι όταν λέμε σωματική επικοινωνία, εννοούμε ένα χάιδεμα, ένα αγκάλιασμα, το ενθαρρυντικό χτύπημα στην πλάτη ή και ένα απλό άγγιγμα του παιδιού. Το παιδί που μεγαλώνει σε ένα σπίτι όπου οι γονείς χρησιμοποιούν την οπτική και σωματική επικοινωνία, αισθάνεται άνετα με τον εαυτό του και με τους άλλους, και συνεπώς, θα είναι αγαπητό και θα έχει αυτοσεβασμό. Κατ’ αυτό τον τρόπο το παιδί μπορεί να γεμίσει το συναισθηματικό του δοχείο. Επίσης, η συμμετοχή του πατέρα στη φροντίδα του παιδιού και η συναισθηματική στήριξη στη σύζυγό του ενισχύει σημαντικά τη συζυγική και οικογενειακή αρμονία, ενισχύοντας τους δεσμούς τόσο με το παιδί όσο και με τη σύντροφό του.

“Ιδανικοί” γονείς θεωρούνται, όσοι συνδυάζουν την έκδηλη στοργή και την ενθάρρυνση για αυτονομία. «Το πολύ μικρό παιδί μπορεί να έχει ανάγκη από τη συνεχή φροντίδα, όσο μεγαλώνει όμως, ο γονιός οφείλει να το απελευθερώνει σιγά – σιγά, χωρίς να διακόπτεται η αμοιβαία αγάπη και να το οδηγεί στη συναισθηματική και πνευματική ανεξαρτησία. Η γονεϊκή αγάπη που πνίγει τα παιδιά, τη στιγμή που αυτά έχουν ανάγκη να βγουν εξω από την οικογενειακή “φωλιά”, μοιάζει με τα δέντρα που φυτεύουμε, για να προστατεύσουμε το σπίτι από τον ήλιο και που, τελικά, μεγαλώνουν τόσο πολύ και ευδοκιμούν τόσο, ώστε πρέπει να τα κλαδέψουμε, αν δεν θέλουμε να πεθάνουμε από ασφυξία».

Όσα κάνουμε, όσα λέμε, από ένα απλό νανούρισμα, μέχρι ένα χαδί, από ένα «μη» μέχρι ένα «μπράβο» στο πρώτο δειλό βήμα, καταγράφονται στο μυαλό και την ψυχή του παιδιού. Και παρόλο που ως ενήλικες αδυνατούμε να χρησιμοποιήσουμε σε συνειδητό επίπεδο όλες τις πληροφορίες εκείνες που συλλέξαμε στην πρώιμη παιδική ηλικία, αυτές οι μνήμες είναι υπαρκτές και ασκούν πάνω μας επιρροή σε ασυνείδητο επίπεδο.

Γι’ αυτό οφείλουμε σαν γονείς να γεμίσουμε τον κόσμο του τόσο μικρού αυτού ανθρώπου με όμορφες εικόνες και τρυφερά συναισθήματα, ώστε όταν έρθει ο καιρός να «ανασύρει» όλο αυτό του υλικό για να προχωρήσει, να «βρει» στοιχεία που θα τον κάνουν έναν μαχητή της ζωής και όχι ένα φερέφωνο των γονεικών προσδοκιών.

http://www.themamagers.gr

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