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Να τη φιλήσω ή θα με πει λιγούρη;

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Του Χρήστου Μίαρη.

(Οδηγός Επιβίωσης στο 2ο Ραντεβού)

Μεγάλη κουβέντα γίνεται κάθε φορά για το πώς θα προετοιμαστείς για το πρώτο ραντεβού και τόνους μελάνι έχει χυθεί για το τι πρέπει να προσέξει κάποιος, έτσι ώστε να είναι επιτυχημένο. Διότι κατά γενική ομολογία, η πρώτη εντύπωση είναι αυτή που μετράει και καθορίζει τη συνέχεια.

Όλοι λοιπόν δίνουν τον καλύτερο εαυτό τους για να τα πάνε εξαιρετικά προσέχοντας κάθε μικρή λεπτομέρεια, τόσο σε επίπεδο εμφάνισης όσο και σε επίπεδο θεματολογίας. Όλα είναι άψογα και η τελική μάχη ξεκινάει για να κατακτηθούν οι καλές εντυπώσεις.

Μέχρι σήμερα όμως. Γιατί σας έχω νέα:

Το σωστό το ραντεβού, αυτό που θα καθορίσει τη γενικότερη συνέχεια, δεν είναι το πρώτο, αλλά το δεύτερο. Γιατί ως γνωστόν, ο διάβολος κρύβεται στο δεύτερο (καλά και στις λεπτομέρειες). Το γιατί είναι πολύ εύκολο.

Έχοντας δεχτεί να βγει και δεύτερη φορά μαζί σου, έχεις θεωρήσει εξ ορισμού ότι της αρέσεις εμφανισιακά, της αρέσουν αυτά που λες και είσαι πεπεισμένος πως ό,τι και εάν συμβεί εφ´ εξής, το πράγμα θα κυλήσει σίγουρα εύκολα για τα επόμενα 5-10 ραντεβού.

Αμ δε! Εκεί λοιπόν που είσαι σίγουρος πως παίζεις δυνατά στις τρεις, ελαφριές μεν, βασικές δε κατηγορίες (εμφάνιση, σκέψη και τρόπους), έρχεται η χαλάρωση και εκεί που στην αρχή ήταν όλα μελετημένα, τώρα έρχεται ο πραγματικός εαυτός να χαλάσει την «αμελέτητη» εικόνα.

Συνεπώς έχουμε κάποιες βασικές διαφορές που θέλουν προσοχή.

Ξεκινάμε:

  1. Στο πρώτο ραντεβού έχεις φτάσει στην ώρα σου, μπορεί και νωρίτερα. Στο δεύτερο εάν είσαι λίγο ασυνεπής, να το στήσιμο. Βαθμός: -2
  2. Στο πρώτο είχες φροντίσει να πας στην άλλη άκρη της Αθήνας για να την συναντήσεις. Στο δεύτερο σκέφτεσαι και κάτι πιο κοντά σε εσένα, π.χ κάτω από το σπίτι σου. Βαθμός: -1
  3. Αρχικά έχεις ντυθεί άψογα, στο δεύτερο, ε, κάνει και λίγο ζέστη, είναι και καλοκαιράκι, να τη η βερμούδα. Βαθμός: -2
  4. Προφανώς και έχεις κεράσει στο πρώτο. Ε, καλά, κερνάς και στο δεύτερο, πόσο τραγικός πια να είσαι… θέλεις και γυναίκα. Βαθμός: 0 (το θεωρεί δεδομένο)
  5. Αρχικά έδειχνες οτι σε ενδιαφέρει η μόδα, τα παπούτσια, ακόμα και εάν το λεοπάρ είναι στη μόδα ακόμα. Τώρα ρίχνεις κλεφτές ματιές στη γιγαντοοθόνη που ο Αστέρας Τρίπολης με τον Πανθρακικό, δίνουν φιλικό προετοιμασίας. Αφού είπαμε, το δεύτερο είναι στην καφετέρια κάτω από το σπίτι που δείχνει μονίμως αθλητικά. Τι, δεν το είπαμε αυτό; Βαθμός:-4
  6. Η θεματολογία στο πρώτο είναι γενική και προσανατολισμένη στα ενδιαφέροντά της, ενώ παράλληλα της εκφράζεις και τα πολλά δικά σου. Μη σε περάσει για κανέναν βαρετό no lifer. Ε, στο δεύτερο της λες ότι σου αρέσει να βλέπεις και μπάλα (πωωωωωωω τι της είπε!!!!) Βαθμός:-10
  7. Τέλος, βασική διαφορά είναι ότι στο πρώτο, δε σου πάει καν στο μυαλό να την φιλήσεις. Στο δεύτερο έχεις όμως το δίλλημα. Να τη φιλήσω και να με πει λιγούρη; Να μην τη φιλήσω και να με βάλει σε friend zone; Μην το σκέφτεσαι, καν το και όπου βγει. Βαθμός:+- 20 (ανάλογα την περίπτωση)

 

Το παρόν κείμενο έχει πρόθεση να επιστήσει την προσοχή όχι μόνο στο δεύτερο ραντεβού, αλλά και στο τρίτο, τέταρτο κλπ, γιατί η διαδικασία του να γνωρίσεις έναν ενδιαφέροντα άνθρωπο (αυτό το έχεις ξεκαθαρίσει μέσα στα πρώτα λεπτά του πρώτου) είναι τόσο ξεχωριστή, που αξίζει να συμβαίνει κάθε επόμενη φορά. Κάθε επόμενη, μέχρι να βρεις αυτόν τον άνθρωπο που θα είσαι χρόνια μαζί του και κάθε φορά που θα τον συναντάς, θα νιώθεις όλες τις αγωνίες όλων των ραντεβού, ασχέτου σειράς …

αναπνοές

Χρήστος Μίαρης

Όταν οι άλλοι κάθε πρωί ξυπνάνε φρέσκοι και ευδιάθετοι εγώ ξυπνάω μουρτζούφλης και θέλω να πιω καφέ. Ενίοτε θέλω και να μείνω στο κρεβάτι να κοιτάζω για ώρες το ταβάνι. Κοιτάζω και ιεραρχώ όλα αυτά τα καινούργια και παλιά που θέλω να κάνω. Να συναντήσω όλους αυτούς τους υπέροχους ανθρώπους που γνωρίζω και θα γνωρίσω σήμερα. Μπορεί να μοιάζουν ξένοι αλλά σύντομα θα είναι κάπου εκεί μαζί μου και θα μοιραζόμαστε στιγμές που περάσαμε και άλλες τόσες που θα ζήσουμε μαζί.
Μπερδεμένος στους αριθμούς τα κουτάκια και τα σχεδιαγράμματά μου, έτοιμος πάντα να οργανώσω την απόλυτη αναρχία που τελικά θα ζήσω επιδιώκοντας μέσα από όλο αυτό την επικοινωνία σε όλα τα επίπεδα που μπορώ να αισθανθώ.
Δεν ξέρω εάν βλέπουμε το ίδιο φεγγάρι αλλά είναι σίγουρο πως κάποια στιγμή θα αναζητήσουμε τον ίδιο ήλιο…

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feautured

Άντρα σε κάνουν οι πράξεις, όχι τα λόγια

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Γράφει ο Κωνσταντίνος Καρύδης

«Όλοι μαλάκες είναι».
Πόσο εύκολα έχουν ειπωθεί αυτές οι λέξεις. Πόσο μελάνι δεν χύθηκε, πόσες συζητήσεις έμειναν στη μέση μόνο και μόνο γιατί το συμπέρασμα ήταν το εξής ένα. «Όλοι μαλάκες είναι».

Συμφωνώ, υπάρχουν πολλών ειδών «μαλάκες». Αν, όμως, εσύ δεν μπορείς να ξεχωρίσεις το αγόρι απʾ τον άντρα, και τον άντρα απʾ το αρσενικό δε σου φταίει κανένας, είναι δικό σου θέμα και καθόλου δεν με ενδιαφέρει.

Κρύβεσαι πίσω από δύο αποσιωπητικά, βουτηγμένη μέσα στο δήθεν φεμινισμό σου και δεν καταλαβαίνεις πως ουσιαστικά κάνεις ζημιά μόνο σε εσένα.

Το αγόρι, ο άντρας ή το αρσενικό (αν και τα δυο τελευταία έχουν λίγο μπερδεμένο νόημα) υπάρχει πιθανότητα να μην πάψει ποτέ να έχει αυτή του την ιδιότητα μέχρι τέλους.

Υπάρχει, όμως, καλή μου, μια κατηγορία αγοριών τα οποία «μυρίζουν» από μακριά πως όταν τα μαλλιά τους ασπρίσουν, θα έχουν αποδείξει ότι είναι αρσενικά (κρατώντας το «αρσενικά» ως τον υπέρτατο χαρακτηρισμό σʾ έναν άντρα).
Θα ωριμάσει μέσα από τον αυτοσαρκασμό του και θα βάλει την εκτίμηση που έχει στη γυναίκα δίπλα του πάνω απʾ όλα.

Είναι αυτός ο άντρας που θα ήθελες να δεις δίπλα στην κόρη σου, εκείνος στον οποίο θα ήθελες να μοιάσει ο γιος σου.

Είναι αυτός που θα καταφέρει να σʾ ανεβάσει ψηλά χωρίς να έχει μπράτσα και κοιλιακούς. Ξέρει να ξεχωρίσει το γυναικάκι απʾ την γυναίκα και θα διυλίσει την κάθε σου ματιά.

Ξέρει τι θα πει ευγένεια, εκτίμηση και θα στη δείξει ακόμα και στον τρόπο που περπατάει δίπλα σου ή στον τρόπο που μιλάει για εσένα στους φίλους του.

Δεν πιστεύω να νομίζετε πως ακόμα κι αυτός ο τύπος άντρα δε θα κοιτάξει άλλη γυναίκα.
Φυσικά και θα κοιτάξει, μα το νόημα δεν είναι τι θα κοιτάξει, αλλά πού θα καταλήξει τελικά το βλέμμα του, γιατί πολύ απλά εκείνο ανήκει μόνο σʾ εσένα.

Τα υπόλοιπα απλά τα προσπερνά σαν την πρώτη ματιά που ρίχνει μπαίνοντας σʾ ένα bar προσπαθώντας να βρει ένα κενό τραπέζι να κάτσετε.
Αυτό είσαι για εκείνον, η ξεχωριστή, μοναδική γωνιά, το μοναδικό τραπέζι που ψάχνει να βρει για νʾ αράξει.

Για τον πραγματικό άντρα, το «σʾ ευχαριστώ» και το «συγγνώμη» είναι ένα σύνολο γραμμάτων τα οποία με μεγάλη ευκολία θα τα συντάξει στη σωστή σειρά, για να τους αποδώσει τις τιμές που τους αναλογούν και μαζί μʾ αυτά και σε εσένα.

Την αποδοχή σου την έχει γραμμένη στα παλαιότερα των υποδημάτων του, μιας κι αυτό που αναζητά είναι η εκτίμηση κι ο σεβασμός σου.
Θα αποζητήσει σʾ εσένα τη γνώμη σου, την άποψή σου κι όχι ένα κοριτσάκι που θα του ψελλίζει συνεχόμενα, φοβισμένα «ναι».

Απλώνει το χέρι του να σε κρατήσει, έτσι απλά, επειδή είναι ικανός να κάνει το απλό, σημαντικό.

Είσαι η ιδανική για εκείνον, όχι επειδή συμμορφώνεσαι με κάποια πρότυπα, αλλά επειδή δεν τον ενδιαφέρει το ιδανικό και δεν το ψάχνει. Ξέρει τον τρόπο να σε κάνει να νιώσεις ιδανική για εκείνον κι αυτό του αρκεί.

Είναι ο άντρας που δεν είναι όμορφος, αλλά θα σου αποδεικνύει καθημερινά πως μοναδικός σκοπός του είναι το να νιώθει όμορφος στα μάτια σου.

Ξέρει να ηγηθεί, και μέσα απʾ την ηγετική του υπόσταση θα καλύψει όλες σου τις ανασφάλειες, την ίδια στιγμή που στα μάτια σου θα αναζητά εκείνη που θα μείνει στα δύσκολα χωρίς πολλές φαμφάρες.

Να ξέρεις πως τα λόγια του είναι οι πράξεις του, αλλά ακόμα κι όταν τα χρησιμοποιεί, το κάνει για να μην ξεχνιέσαι, γιατί ξεχνιέστε, αγαπητή μου.

Είναι εκείνος που στο άκουσμά του θα ριγήσεις από πόθο, θα σε κάνει να τον ποθήσεις παίζοντας με το μυαλό σου κι όχι με το κορμί σου.

Στο τέλος της ημέρας, στο κρεβάτι σου, θα είναι αυτός που, κλείνοντας τα μάτια σου δίπλα του, θα σε κάνει να χαμογελάσεις με την εικόνα ενός γέρου γκριζομάλλη που σε πλησιάζει από πίσω κουτσαίνοντας, και σε παίρνει αγκαλιά, την ίδια στιγμή που φιλά τον ρυτιδιασμένο σου λαιμό.

Αυτός ο ίδιος που το πρωί δε θα ξεχάσεις ποτέ να τον αποχαιρετήσεις με μια καλημέρα και ένα φιλί.

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feautured

Όσο αγαπάς τον εαυτό σου τόσο θα αγαπάς τους άλλους.

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Της Ανθής Κατερίνη.

Αποκτάς μεγαλύτερη αγάπη για τους άλλους όταν αρχίζεις να φροντίζεις τον εαυτό σου. Εάν θέλεις να τους αγαπήσεις και δεν μπορείς να το εκφράσεις, η ίδια αυτή δυσκολία υπάρχει στην σχέση σου με τον εαυτό σου. Και αν σήμερα θέλεις να τους πεις πόσο όμορφοι είναι, είναι γιατί τα λόγια και οι πράξεις σου δεν κατευθύνονται εχθρικά προς τον εαυτό σου όπως χθες. Από τις σωστές για σένα επιλογές απορρέει από μέσα σου η επιθυμία να σου πεις μπράβο και έτσι καταλήγεις να επιβραβεύεις την ύπαρξη των άλλων που υπάρχουν εκεί και στέκουν τόσο όμορφοι. Με ιδιαίτερη ομορφιά, με την φιλικότητα και τον αυθορμητισμό τους, με την επιμονή και την εργατικότητά τους, με το άγχος τους, με την ντροπαλότητά τους. Όλοι βλέπεις σου αρέσουν τέτοιες μέρες που έχεις φροντίσει τον εαυτό σου και όλους τους αγαπάς ακόμη και αν είναι τόσο διαφορετικοί μεταξύ τους. Αποτελούν πλευρές του εαυτού σου και τις αποδέχεσαι. Μα εάν κάποια έχεις αποκλείσει από την ταυτότητά σου και δεν την θεωρείς δική σου πλευρά καταβάθος την ζηλεύεις και την αποστρέφεσαι σαν ατελής άνθρωπος που είσαι, που δεν του αρέσει να τον βαραίνει μία αίσθηση κατωτερότητας. Γι’ αυτό δεν πρέπει να φοβάσαι να γίνεις όλα αυτά που έχεις αποκλείσει πως μπορείς να είσαι. Αυτό ήταν μέχρι χτες. Σήμερα μπορείς να επιλέξεις από την αρχή. Μια επιλογή σε κρατά και η ιδέα πως δεν ήταν τέτοια όμορφα πράγματα στο πεδίο των επιλογών σου.
Όσο αγαπάς τον εαυτό σου τόσο θα αγαπάς τους άλλους. Όσο πιο όμορφο σε βρίσκεις τόσο θα βλέπεις ομορφιά στους άλλους.
Σταμάτα τις πράξεις που σε οδηγούνε σε φαύλους κύκλους αρνητικών συναισθημάτων. Αν σε τρέφει αυτή η ρόδα που πάνω της τσουλάς και ταυτόχρονα στην άσφαλτο πατιέσαι, μάθε να μην φοβάσαι να μείνεις εκτεθειμένος με τον πόνο σου, αντί να τον καλύπτεις με σκουπίδια. Μάθε πως όταν σταματήσεις τα εφήμερα παυσίπονα τότε θα σε διδάξει ο πόνος σου. Πρέπει να τον κοιτάξεις και μια φορά στα μάτια. Να μην τον πνίγεις με μία κουβέρτα για να εξαφανιστεί. Αντιθέτως, να καλύψεις εσένα με την κουβέρτα αυτή, να ζεσταθείς και ό, τι άσχημο ,θα δεις, που θα φύγει σαν μικρόβιο που δεν μπόρεσε να επιζήσει μέσα σε έναν οργανισμό που οι στρατιώτες του πολέμησαν με τόλμη και δύναμη για την προστασία του παλατιού τους. Γύμνασε τους πολεμιστές της ψυχής σου και θα γίνεις ο καλύτερος προστάτης του εαυτού σου. Γιατί όσο και να μην θέλουμε να το παραδεχτούμε εάν κατηγορούμε κάποιον για το κακό που μας έκανε, στην πραγματικότητα κατηγορούμε εμάς που μας φερθήκαμε με τέτοια αναισθησία και δεν μας προστατέψαμε όπως μας άξιζε. Και τέτοια ντροπή πώς να την ξεχάσεις; Με το να κάνεις τον εαυτό σου να σε εμπιστευτεί ξανά. Να πιστέψει πως εάν αφεθεί χαλαρός στα χέρια σου δεν θα βρεθεί ξανά στο πάτωμα, αλλά θα είσαι εκεί να τον αφήσεις να πέσει απαλά μέσα στην τρυφερή σου χούφτα.

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Ανθή Κατερίνη

Κάθε φορά που χάνομαι ανάμεσα στον ρεαλισμό και τον ρομαντισμό, στην αισιοδοξία και την απαισιοδοξία παίζω με τις λέξεις για να με ανακαλύψω. Οι σκέψεις μου χορεύουν στάζοντας μελάνι και δεν ξέρεις ποτέ τι θα σχηματίσουν τα βήματά τους. Η αδυναμία μου είναι οι όμορφες ψυχές. Μυρωδιές, μουσικές, εικόνες χρωματίζουν την καθημερινότητα μου. Στόχος μου είναι η αυτοβελτίωση γι’ αυτό συχνά αλλάζω αφήνοντας πίσω ότι στέκεται εμπόδιο ανάμεσα σε μένα και τον εαυτό μου.

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feautured

Η Ελλάδα πάντα από κάπου αιμορραγεί.

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Μοιραστείτε το με τους φίλους σας

Της Δικαίας Μαραβέλια.

Αγαπητέ μου Έλληνα, ξέρεις από τότε που η Ελλαδίτσα μας θυμάται τον εαυτό της, πάντα από κάπου αιμορραγεί.
Τραβάς εσύ από την μια, τραβούν οι υπόλοιποι από την άλλη και τώρα είναι η ώρα που χρειάζεται την καλύτερη περίθαλψη γιατί αιμορραγεί στο κέντρο της.
Οι αξίες μας, ο πολιτισμός μας, η ψυχή μας, εμείς οι ίδιοι αφήσαμε να μας τα πάρουν… και τώρα απαιτείς να στα επιστρέψουν. 
Φοβάσαι να πεις δημόσια, ότι φοβάσαι για τα παιδιά σου;
Ξέρεις φοβάμαι, που φοβάσαι. Φοβάμαι που νομίζεις ότι τα θέματα που απασχολούν ολόκληρο τον πλανήτη δεν σε απασχολούν.
Ναι ζούμε στην πιο ευλογημένη χώρα στο κόσμο, στην χώρα της δημοκρατίας, στην χώρα που κάνουμε ποστ μόνο, τις σοφίες των σοφών μας, χωρίς να γνωρίζουμε το βαθύτερο νόημα τους.
Φοβάμαι… αλλά είμαι αισιόδοξη. Για τα παιδιά ρε, για τα παιδιά μας!

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Δικαία Μαραβέλια

Η Δικαία Μαραβέλια ζει μόνιμα στη Σύμη.
Μεγαλωμένη και κανακεμένη, στα γόνατα του παπά Τάσου, με ιερή στιγμή αυτή που την τάϊζε γλυκό σταφύλι με τόση ευλάβεια, σαν να ήταν κοινωνία.
Τον έβλεπε πάντα να γράφει όταν δεν λειτουργούσε.
Τώρα έφτασε η ώρα να ακολουθήσει τα χνάρια του, συντροφιά με τους αγγέλους της.

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