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Γράφει η Σοφία Ισμήνη.

Έξω από το παράθυρο απλωνόταν ένας τεράστιος κόσμος.
Πότε πότε του έριχνε μια κλεφτή ματιά, πίσω από τις κουρτίνες και έπειτα έστρεφε το βλέμμα γεμάτο αποδοκιμασία στο αντικείμενο που δέσποζε τρανό και άψυχο στη μέση της κάμαράς της.
Θυμήθηκε τη μέρα που το απέκτησε και λίγο πριν τα μάτια της βυθιστούν στο κενό, πέταξαν σπίθες που πριν ακόμα πάρουν ανάσα, έσβησαν ξέπνοες.
Απλοντυμένος μα τόσο κομψός, επιμελώς ατημέλητος και τόσο ονειρεμένος, την πλησίασε με βήμα γεμάτο σιγουριά.
Άπλωσε τα χέρια να τον αγγίξει, να πιστέψει πως είχε σάρκα και οστά, πως δεν ήταν αποκύημα της φαντασίας της. Σε μια προσπάθεια να στηριχτεί, να μην τρεκλίσει μπροστά στη θέα του άνδρα που στεκόταν απέναντί της μοιραίος και τόσα πολλά υποσχόμενος, τον αγκάλιασε και…τη διαπέρασε.

Χώρεσε μέσα σε κάθε ρωγμή, σε κάθε τρύπα του υποσυνείδητου, του συνειδητού, της ύπαρξής της, έως εκείνη τη στιγμή. Τα χείλη τους ενώθηκαν αβίαστα και ξαφνικά τα πάντα σταμάτησαν.
Ο χρόνος, ο φόβος, ο νους.
Όταν άνοιξε τα βλέφαρα, τον είδε να της χαμογελά. Έμεινε να κοιτάζει τα μάτια του, δυο πύρινες σφαίρες, που στροβιλίζονταν μέσα της ανάβοντας κάθε της σπιθαμή.
«Έχω κάτι για σένα», της είπε και την παρότρυνε να κοιτάξει λίγο παραπέρα.
«Μα…» ψέλλισε γεμάτη έκπληξη.
«…Είσαι σίγουρος, αλήθεια, για μένα είναι;».

Για εκείνη ήταν. Ένα τεράστιο σεντούκι, γεμάτο φύκια για μεταξωτές κορδέλες, πράσινα άλογα και παραμύθια της Χαλιμάς. Κι ο ουρανός, και τα άστρα, όλα εκεί. Όλα για εκείνη, όλα δικά της.
Τα κρατούσε φυλαγμένα σαν θησαυρό.
Θησαυρό, που ενώ τώρα γνώριζε πως ήταν κάλπικος, είχε για εκείνη τόση αξία. Γέμισε από δαύτον για δυο ζωές και δεν της έκανε καρδιά να τον πετάξει.

Καρδιά;
Ποια καρδιά.
Δεν της είχε αφήσει καρδιά.

Κι αν κάτι χτυπούσε μέσα της, ό,τι κι αν ήταν αυτό, είχε αρρωστήσει.
Κάθε που ανοιγόκλεινε το σεντούκι της, και μια αρρυθμία, μια ακόμα φραγμένη αρτηρία στα όνειρά της, ένας ακόμη πόνος στο στήθος. Κι αυτό το κάτι, να πάλλεται εντός της, ακανόνιστα και απελπισμένα. Να διογκώνεται και να συρρικνώνεται, στην προσπάθειά της να χωρέσει την απώλεια, την απουσία του, το τίποτά του.
Πότε μεγάλο, πότε μικρό.
Πόση προσπάθεια είχε καταβάλλει για να υποκριθεί τόσα πολλά, αναρωτιόταν.
Με πόση ευκολία άραγε γέμισε αυτό το μπαούλο και πόση συνείδηση χρειάστηκε για να το δέσει επάνω στα φτερά μου;
Γιατί είχε φτερά τότε, πετούσε κι ας ήταν στα χαμηλά, δοκιμές έκανε, έπαιρνε δυνάμεις για να ατενίσει μια μέρα τον κόσμο από εκεί ψηλά που ονειρευόταν.
Τώρα το βάρος την κρατούσε αιχμάλωτη στη γη, μα κι αν ακόμα μπορούσε να το ξεφορτωθεί, από φόβο και μόνο, δεν θα άνοιγε τα φτερά της ξανά.
Φιλάσθενη η καρδιά της πια, φυλαγόταν από κάθε είδους φτερούγισμα.
Τα αισθήματά της, τα καταχώνιασε κι αυτά στο ίδιο σεντούκι.
Κι αν η μελαγχολία ήταν συναίσθημα, ήταν το μόνο που έμεινε απ’έξω, το μόνο που μπορούσε να αισθανθεί.
Αυτό, και μια ανατριχίλα όταν σκεφτόταν εκείνες τις φλεγόμενες σφαίρες, τα μάτια του, που ενώ υποτίθεται πως έλεγαν πάντα την αλήθεια, σε εκείνη είχαν πει τόσα ψέματα.

αναπνοές

Σοφία Ισμήνη

Έχω μια πεποίθηση στη ζωή, πως ό,τι είναι αληθινό θα μείνει. Θα επιβιώσει κόντρα σε κάθε φόβο, κάθε αντιξοότητα, σε κάθε προγνωστικό. Αγαπώ τους ανθρώπους που τολμούν να ονειρεύονται, απεχθάνομαι τα στερεότυπα που σκοτώνουν τα όνειρα. Κυνηγός του απόλυτου, σε ένα κόσμο δέσμιο του σχετικού, γράφω, με την ελπίδα πως θα λύσω τα δεσμά του.

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    Besides, business will certainly understand that you are and will certainly spread the word concerning your business. Likewise, as discussed in this write-up from Small company Feeling, talking at an event will offer you a setting as an authority in the specific niche. So it will raise your relevance and also assist you to be seen as a specialist gamer in the industry.
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    One of the very best banner styles that exist is developed by Disney+. Their banner advertisement works as well as enticing as well as can be best described as an unique suggestion. With limited text in an intriguing font and a clear image, Disney+ has actually also consisted of a clear contact us to action button that guides the visitor to Disney’s subscription page. Another means to stick out making use of an appear banner is to be innovative. It is extremely vital to take a look in all the information of the advertising and marketing product prior to publishing it.
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    This is because they have the ability to provide a specialist display screen that successfully and plainly promotes your products, solutions and brand name message to your target market. Do not restrict your event banner to message; use graphics as well as images too. Huge, vibrant graphics and images will certainly not just tempt visitors to take a look in your instructions however also help to enhance your message. It’s, nonetheless, essential to utilize top notch graphics and also images that are classy, visually pleasing, simple to interpret, and also relevant to your business and items.

    Although Connecticut political election laws call for several forms of political advertising to determine their enrollers, the regulation (Conn. Gen. Stat. § 9-621) especially excuses yard indications under 32 square feet from this policy.

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    You may be required to craft a banner ad for the various type of occasions. Events might vary from a simple university workshop to a high account business affair. One of the key ideas is to create banner ad designs is that it should be a distinct idea. Roll up banner stands can be found in helpful for use at neighborhood craft fairs along with exhibition work areas at huge exhibit events.

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    Relying on where the source of your pain is coming from, you might be able to develop a natural remedy for the level of sensitivity of teeth or require to see a dental professional. Not surprisingly, many people want to figure out just how to eliminate delicate teeth by themselves prior to they established a separate dental visit. According to the Academy of General Dental Care, regarding 40 million individuals in the USA experience some kind of tooth sensitivity. If you are currently experiencing pain, you might be looking for simple home remedies to relieve your discomfort.
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    In a 2017 research study, scientists discovered that a saltwater rinse may be as effective as a chlorhexidine mouth wash in the decrease of oral plaque. Using a deep sea rinse as a mouthwash is an additional means to fight microorganisms in the mouth and boost dental hygiene. A 2013 study discovered that one in eight people who visited oral practices experienced sensitive teeth. There are a number of natural remedy you can use to deal with dental pain and teeth sensitivity. Nonetheless, professional solutions to oral pain are suggested. Home remedies can ease pain momentarily, but may not cure the resource of your pain.

    You might likewise intend to attempt sipping with a straw whenever possible to limit tooth direct exposure. Your teeth obtaining brown places be the result of several problems, some easy and others a little a lot more complicated. It’s vital to uncover the resource of such oral staining as well as identify just how to manage it quicker as opposed to later on. Dental enamel problems occasionally arise from gastric condition.

    The outer layer of enamel is covered in thousands of tiny, permeable openings called “tubules.” Tubules can catch discolor bits, making teeth look darker over time. But the layer below your enamel– called dentin– has a natural yellow shade to it as well. There are physical changes that can happen inside of your tooth while it’s creating, due to medicine or minerals, that alter the color of your tooth. But also for one of the most component, tooth discolorations happen due to the fact that our teeth just normally take in spots from foods and the environment we stay in. Specifically as we age or subject our teeth to those compounds on a much more frequent basis than other individuals. Tooth stains does not just come from having naturally dark teeth or consuming a great deal of coffee.

    Honey is an anti-bacterial agent, and can be made use of for wound administration. Honey can assist to speed up healing, as well as reduce pain, swelling, and swelling. Include 1/2 to 3/4 tsp of salt to a glass of warm water and also mix well. Foods with acidic points may be the sensitive teeth trigger. If you are struggling with sharper discomfort as opposed to milder discomfort then speak with to your dental practitioner instead of natural remedy. At least 40% of adults are suffering from teeth sensitivity in the united states.
    Very Easy Natural Remedy To Get Remedy For Sensitive Teeth
    Most of the services are things you can try in the house to combat tooth sensitivity. To deal with delicate teeth, pour vanilla remove onto a cotton ball. Use the cotton round to your gum tissues for a few minutes, and repeat the procedure as commonly as required.

    Allow’s take a look at several of the root causes of brownish discolorations on teeth. If you have brownish discolorations in between your teeth that you wish to eliminate, you can use cooking soda and water. Whitening toothpaste, strips, as well as rinses are often an even much better solution.

    All-natural Smiles gives remarkable dental care at an extremely low cost. Baking soda as well as hydrogen peroxide have actually been shown to dissolve plaque, eliminate germs, and get rid of stains. In a mixing bowl, combine 1 tbsp baking soft drink and also 2 tbsps hydrogen peroxide.
    Why Do I Have A Dark Place On My Tooth?
    While they usually call for a number of consultations, expert lightening can remove brownish places on teeth efficiently. The downside is that lightening just deals with all-natural teeth and not on crowns or bonding. This is due to the fact that chlorhexidine binds to hard cells greater than soft tissue. If you’re sure that the staining is brought on by the foods or drinks you’re eating, there’s an easy natural remedy that can commonly assist lighten them once more. Mix cooking soft drink and also water, and also brush your teeth with it every few days to supplement your typical oral treatment regimen.

    One of one of the most common types of toothaches to have is a level of sensitivity to tooth pressure when you’re attacking or eating. If your tooth injures when you bite down, there can be a few factors for the acute pain; none ought to be disregarded. Are you struggling with toothache after eating sorts of food?

    While you whiten on the move, you will certainly feel confident understanding that you are brightening every outer surface area of your tooth enamel. Kinds of tooth spots that you have can help you to figure out exactly how to get rid of discolorations in between teeth. This is a great alternative for lightly to moderately-stained teeth.
    One or more teeth might come to be tarnished and discolored as a result of mouth rinses which contain dyes or colorings. Making use of mouth wash with chlorhexidine can cause tooth and tongue stains. Cleaning extra often and adding an additional third time every day will certainly aid you get rid of this concern.

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Σχέσεις

Όσο αφήνεις το παρελθόν να σε στοιχειώνει, τόσο λιγότερο θα απολαμβάνεις τη ζωή σου

Published

on

Μοιραστείτε το με τους φίλους σας

Όταν σκεφτόμαστε συνεχώς πράγματα από το παρελθόν μας, είτε αναπολώντας τα, είτε αναθεωρώντας τα, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε μία παγίδα που μας κρατάει πίσω. Δεν δίνουμε αξία στο παρόν μας και έτσι δεν μπορούμε να χαρούμε τις εμπειρίες που βιώνουμε καθημερινά.

Η ζωή δεν είναι ένα ημερολόγιο γεγονότων που χρειάζεται ξεφύλλισμα από έναν παθητικό αναγνώστη, αλλά μία αρένα δραστηριοτήτων που πάντα έχει κάτι να μας τραβήξει το ενδιαφέρον. Το βέλος της ζωής δεν δείχνει ποτέ προς τα πίσω, δείχνει πάντα μπροστά.Έτσι, είναι ανώφελο κάποιος να κολλάει τη σκέψη του στο παρελθόν ή στο μέλλον σα να μην υπάρχει το “εδώ” και το “τώρα”.

Φυσικά, οι αναμνήσεις είναι εγγενές μέρος της ζωής και συχνά αναπόφευκτες. Είναι ένας τρόπος να μένουμε κοντά στα πρόσωπα που αγαπάμε και σε όσα είμαστε παθιασμένοι. Είναι το συστατικό της προσωπικής μας ταυτότητας και του χαρακτήρα μας. Είναι οι ρίζες βαθιά μέσα στον πυρήνα του εαυτού μας.

“Τό χθες δεν είναι τίποτα περισσότερο από την ανάμνηση του σήμερα, και τo αύριο, τo όνειρο του σήμερα”

-Kahlil Gibran-

Οι μνήμες είναι συχνά κάτι το απατηλό μιας και είναι φτιατσιδωμένες από τα γεγονότα του παρόντος και έτσι πέφτουν στη φάκα του νου. Η διαφορά ανάμεσα στις ψεύτικες και τις γνήσιες αναμνήσεις μοιάζει με τον τρόπο που ξεχωρίζουν τα φο-μπιζού από τα πραγματικά κοσμήματα, τα φο-μπιζού μοιάζουν αληθινά επειδή αστράφτουν πιο έντονα.

Η μνήμη μοιάζει με ένα όχι τόσο έξυπνο σκύλο που όταν του πετάξεις ένα ραβδί θα σου φέρει ένα διαφορετικό που βρίσκεται πιο δίπλα.

“Να ζείτε την κάθε μέρα της ζωής σας”

Η ζωή θα ήταν αδύνατη αν θυμόμασταν όλα όσα μας έχουν συμβεί

Ο Άλμπερτ Αϊνστάιν σε μία συνέντευξή του στο παρελθόν είχε ερωτηθεί τι κάνει όταν του έρχεται μία νέα ιδέα. Αν για παράδειγμα την καταγράφει σε ένα χαρτί ή σε κάποιο συγκεκριμένο σημειωματάριο. Απάντησε αποφασιστικά πως «Όταν έχω μια νέα καταπληκτική ιδέα, δεν τη ξεχνώ εύκολα». Και αυτή είναι η αλήθεια. Όταν κάτι μας συγκινεί σχεδόν αδύνατο να το ξεχάσουμε.

Έτσι, θυμόμαστε όσα είναι πραγματικά σημαντικά για μας και μας συναρπάζουν, γιατί ενεργοποιούνται οι περιοχές και οι νευρωνικές συνδέσεις του εγκεφάλου που είναι υπεύθυνες για τη διατήρηση αυτής της μνήμης.

Το πρόβλημα ανακύπτει όταν ο εγκέφαλος διατηρεί έντονα αναμνήσεις που θα πρέπει να ξεχάσουμε, γιατί δεν μας κάνουν καλό. Και ακριβώς αυτή η σήμανση συγκεκριμένων αναμνήσεων που επιθυμούμε να σβήσουμε είναι ο μηχανισμός που τις κρατά ζωντανές στο μυαλό μας.

Όπως πρεσβεύει και η μέθοδος της αντίστροφης ψυχολογίας, η διαδικασία της λήθης ξεκινά όταν αντίστοιχες καινούργιες μνήμες αντικαθιστούν τις παλιές μη επιθυμητές. Έτσι στο τέλος, όταν το μυαλό ανακτά μνήμες του παρελθόντος, έχει κάτι πιο φρέσκο να φέρει μπροστά μας!

“Πρέπει να ζουμε στο παρόν, να αναβαθμίζουμε τον εαυτό μας σε κάθε ευκαιρία που παρουσιάζεται μπροστά μας, να κερδίζουμε την αιωνιότητα κάθε στιγμή. Μόνο οι ανόητοι κάθονται στο νησί που κρύβει το θησαυρό κοιτώντας από μακριά άλλες παραλίες. Όπως δεν υπάρχουν άλλα νησιά για μας, έτσι υπάρχει μόνο μία ζωή που καλούμαστε να ζήσουμε.”

Η ανάμνηση μοιάζει με άρωμα που κρατά για πολύ

Οι απολαύσεις είναι λουλούδια που ανθίζουν όταν ζούμε τη ζωή μας, την παίρνουμε στα χέρια μας και τη γευόμαστε. Οι ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις είναι εκείνες που συνέβησαν τις στιγμές που έπρεπε και που δεν ξεχείλωσαν πέρα από τα όριά τους μη αφήνοντας να γευτούμε καινούργιες στιγμές.

Δεν θυμόμαστε γεγονότα στην ολότητά τους παρά μόνο συγκεκριμένες στιγμές, γι’ αυτό λοιπόν θα πρέπει να έχουμε βιώματα και εμπειρίες ξανά και ξανά. Ο πλούτος της ζωής βρίσκεται στις αναμνήσεις που συνεχίζουμε να κάνουμε και επιλέγουμε να κρατάμε. Μερικές φορές είναι δύσκολο να τολμήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες, ειδικά αν είμαστε κολλημένοι και περιχαρακωμένοι στη ζώνη άνεσης μας. Ωστόσο, αν θέλουμε να έχουμε ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις θα πρέπει να ζούμε μία έντονη ζωή.

Μολονότι, έχουμε ένα απτό και ικανό φυσικό σώμα και με τις αισθήσεις μας μπορούμε να έρθουμε σε επαφή με το εξωτερικό κόσμο και να τον καθορίσουμε όπως θέλουμε, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε όσα μας λέει το μυαλό μας και η εσωτερική μας φωνή. Παρ’ όλο αυτό, θα πρέπει να πάρουμε μια απόφαση. Είτε Θα περάσουμε τη ζωή μας αναμασώντας όσα μας συνέβησαν στο παρελθόν και ενθυμούμενοι τις άσχημες εμπειρίες που είχαμε, είτε θα πάρουμε τον έλεγχο της ζωής μας, θα ζήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες και φυσικά θα ελέγξουμε τα συναισθήματά μας. Μόνο αν τολμήσουμε κάτι τέτοιο, θα μπορέσουμε να απολαύσουμε την ύπαρξή μας.

Το κλειδί για να βιώνουμε περισσότερο είναι να σκεφτόμαστε και να αναπολούμε το παρελθόν λιγότερο και να περιορίζουμε τις προσδοκίες που περιμένουμε να υλοποιηθούν στο μέλλον. Να αποδεχτούμε αυτά που έχουμε στο εδώ και στο τώρα και τίποτα περισσότερο. Να ζούμε τις στιγμές μας εμποδίζοντας τους εαυτούς μας να αποπροσανατολιστούν από τις παγίδες που βάζει το μυαλό.

Εν τέλει, ο προορισμός μας είναι να ζήσουμε, όμως καταλήγουμε να ζούμε ελάχιστα. Είναι η ώρα να αντιστρέψουμε αυτόν τον κανόνα. Η ευτυχία δεν βρίσκεται σε άλλο τόπο και χρόνο, αλλά στο παρόν στο εδώ και στο τώρα. θυμάστε πάντα.

Πηγές: share24.gr / Spirit Alive 
Εικόνα: Johnny Palacios Hidalgo paint
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Τάσος Λειβαδίτης: «Μάθε να αγαπάς αυτούς που δεν πληγώνουν την αγάπη»

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Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από τα δύσκολα. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που σε πλήγωναν εύκολα, που δεν δίσταζαν να σου πουν όχι, που δεν σε φρόντιζαν όσο θα ήθελες. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που ενώ γνώριζες ότι δεν είσαι ευτυχισμένος, ευτυχισμένη, παρέμενες και το ονόμαζες σχέση.

Παλιά έλεγες ότι αξίζεις περισσότερα, σταδιακά όμως σταμάτησες να το λες. Τον ξέχασες τον εαυτό σου. Δικαιολογούσες όλες τις συμπεριφορές των άλλων. Έμαθες να εφευρίσκεις δικαιολογίες για όλες τις συμπεριφορές, για όλα τα λόγια, για αυτά που σε πλήγωναν. Έμαθες να λες ότι γίνεσαι πιο δυνατός, πιο δυνατή έτσι.

Έμαθες να προσπαθείς να σώσεις, ακόμα και αυτά που δεν σώζονται. Προσπαθούσες για χρόνια να πείσεις τον εαυτό σου ότι έτσι είναι οι σχέσεις. Δύσκολες, πρέπει πάντα να καταλαβαίνεις τον άλλον, απαιτούν μόνιμα συμβιβασμούς και μόνιμα έπρεπε να προσφέρεις εσύ.

Να σου πω όμως κάτι; Δεν είναι έτσι οι σχέσεις. Έμαθες να αγαπάς όσους πληγώνουν την αγάπη, όσους πλήγωναν εσένα. Ονόμαζες το λίγο πολύ και πάντα δικαιολογούσες. Πάντα έλεγες ότι καταλαβαίνεις τους άλλους και ότι στην αγάπη πρέπει πάντα να ακούμε. Να σου πω όμως κάτι;

Δεν είναι αυτό αγάπη. Στην αγάπη προσφέρουν και οι δύο, νιώθουν και οι δύο, ακούνε και οι δύο, φροντίζουν και θαυμάζουν και οι δύο, ρωτάνε και οι δύο, ενδιαφέρονται και οι δύο, είναι παρόντες και οι δύο, επιδιώκουν και οι δύο, προσφέρουν και οι δύο, θέλουν τη σχέση έμπρακτα και οι δύο.

Δεν πληγώνουν. Δεν μειώνουν. Δεν παραμελούν. Δεν αγνοούν. Δείχνουν, με λίγα ή με πολλά, δεν έχει σημασία. Σέβονται. Και είναι τόσο όμορφο να σε σέβονται, να σε θαυμάζουν, να σου λένε πόσο όμορφος είσαι ή πόσο όμορφο είναι αυτό που έφτιαξες.

Σταμάτησε να δικαιολογείς και να αρκείσαι στα λίγα. Φρόντισε τον εαυτό σου και αγάπησέ τον μέσα από τις επιλογές σου. Μην περιμένεις μία γιορτή για να σου δείξει ο άλλος αν σε αγαπάει. Αγάπη σημαίνει να σου δείχνω καθημερινά ότι αξίζω εγώ να είμαι δίπλα σου.

Ελένη Σολταρίδου – enallaktikidrasi.com

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Δε κλαίω γιατί είμαι αδύναμος! Κλαίω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός!

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Ναι κλαίω. Κλαίω γιατί δεν είναι «ντροπή», επειδή δεν «εκτίθεμαι» όταν το κάνω όπως εσύ υποστηρίζεις. Κλαίω γιατί τα χω καλά με τον εαυτό μου κι έχω μάθει να μην τον καταπιέζω μόνο και μόνο για να μπορώ να εντάσσομαι στην κάθε κοινωνική νόρμα που θέλει τους «δυνατούς» αναίσθητους.

Κλαίω γιατί δεν είμαι αναίσθητος και επιλέγω να μην μηδενίζω τον ανθρώπινο συναισθηματισμό και την πηγαία δύναμη ξεσπάσματος που έχω μέσα μου και που όσο κι αν εσένα σου φαίνεται περίεργο, θέλει πολλά κουράγια να καταφέρεις να βγάλεις προς τα έξω.

Γιατί όταν αυτή η δύναμη απελευθερώνεται μένει εκεί για να σε ξυπνήσει, να σε κινητοποιήσει και να κατευθύνει την συνείδησή σου εκεί που έχεις ξεχάσει πώς να πάς.

Εκεί που είσαι άνθρωπος και εκφράζεσαι με ειλικρίνεια και θάρρος, όχι απέναντι στους άλλους αλλά απέναντι στον ίδιο σου τον εαυτό.

Εκεί που κοιτάς κατάματα την ψυχή σου και της ζητάς παραπονεμένα το λόγο που σ’ αφήνει να ζεις όπως σου λένε οι άλλοι. Εκεί που ο πόνος, η συγκίνηση, η αγανάκτηση , η χαρά είναι και πάλι μέρος του εαυτού σου κι όχι απαγορευμένες, ξεχασμένες καταστάσεις του είναι σου.

Και ναι έφτασα εκεί. Και ήταν δύσκολο να αντιμετωπίσω τον εαυτό μου, μάλλον, ήταν δύσκολο να τον βρω γιατί συνεχώς τον έχανα ψάχνοντάς τον πίσω από καλώς δημιουργημένα, κοινωνικώς αποδεκτά προσωπεία.

Κι όταν τον βρήκα επιτέλους φοβήθηκα, κι άρχισα να τρέχω με πανικό για να μην συνειδητοποιήσω άλλα. Και μακριά από αυτόν έτρεχα κι από όλους τους άλλους, που μου έδιναν ρηχά διδάγματα επιβίωσης και επέμεναν πως είμαι αδύναμος και πως πρέπει να «σκληρύνω» και να κρύψω τον εαυτό μου για να επιβιώσω.

Στο τέλος όμως σταμάτησα. Γιατί ήταν μάταιο και γιατί κουράστηκα. Σταμάτησα αποφασιστικά, γύρισα προς τα πίσω, είδα τον εαυτό μου, του χαμογέλασα, τον πήρα αγκαλιά και μαζί πήραμε τον δρόμο του γυρισμού. Και μαζί ήμασταν πιο δυνατοί απέναντι στους άλλους. Και δυσκολευτήκαμε και συναντήσαμε εμπόδια αλλά δεν είχε πλέον σημασία γιατί είμαι πλέον ζωντανός! Κι όταν αισθάνομαι το κάνω με όλη την έννοια της λέξης!

Κι αν θέλω να κλάψω θα το κάνω, ακόμη κι αν είναι με μια μικρή λεπτομέρεια που με συγκίνησε και βελτίωσε ολιγόλεπτα την βαρετή καθημερινότητα που έχετε δημιουργήσει, και που ευτυχώς πλέον βιώνω ως απλός παρατηρητής. Και ευτυχώς δεν είμαι μόνος μου. Υπάρχουν κι άλλοι σαν κι εμένα και θα υπάρξουν ακόμη περισσότεροι.

Θα κλάψω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός και αν ο λόγος δεν σας αρκεί και θέλετε κάτι πιο «λογικό», θα κλάψω για σας και τον χαμένο σας συναισθηματισμό. Όχι για να σας θρηνήσω αλλά για να σας κάνω να θυμηθείτε τι θα πει «είμαι ζωντανός».

Σας χαιρετώ,

Ένας ζωντανός άνθρωπος

Πηγή: have2read
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