Προχθές εκεί που τα έπινα με κάποιον κολλητό μου που δεν τον λένε Χάρη και δεν είναι τραγουδιστής, ειπώθηκε μεταξύ άλλων και η εξής ατάκα: «Τα έμαθες; Ο τάδε παντρεύεται με την τάδε σε τρεις μήνες. Τον τύλιξε τελικά».
Παρεμπιπτόντως, αυτό το «τα έμαθες» που προηγείται κατά παράδοση πριν από κάθε κουτσομπολιό σε φάση «ο κόσμος το χει τούμπανο, δεν είμαι κουτσομπόλης» έχει καταντήσει πιο γραφικό και το ηλιοβασίλεμα της Σαντορίνης. Και επιστρέφω στο διάλογο: «όχι, δεν τα έμαθα. Και αλήθεια, τι εννοείς «τον τύλιξε»;».
Και μου εξήγησε. Και τα νεύρα μου ξεπέρασαν το ύψος της σημερινής θερμοκρασίας. Τα δικά μου, μέτρησέ τα σε Fahrenheit.
Οι γυναίκες –λέει- έχουν σκοπό ζωής –λέει- έστω και υποσυνείδητα –λέει- να παντρευτούν και να κάνουν οικογένεια –λέει-. Δεν ξέρω αν φάνηκαν οι καπνοί που έβγαιναν από τα αυτιά μου, πάντως σε εκείνο το σημείο έκανε μία παύση. Πήρε το πιο ήρεμο και γαλήνιο βλέμμα του και μου εξήγησε με ρητορικό ύφος ότι «Όλες οι γυναίκες βλέπουν τους άντρες ως εν δυνάμει συζύγους τους».
Αν κάποιος μου έθετε το ερώτημα «ποια πιστεύετε ότι είναι η διαφορά μεταξύ κανόνα και στερεότυπου» σχεδόν χωρίς δεύτερη σκέψη, θα έριχνα όλα μου τα λεφτά πάνω στην απάντηση: Οι εξαιρέσεις. Γιατί ας μην γελιόμαστε, κανόνας χωρίς εξαίρεση δεν υφίσταται. Ενώ στερεότυπο; Στα στερεότυπα ουυυ, χαμός γίνεται. Πού ακούστηκε άλλωστε κουτάκι με μεταβλητή χωρητικότητα; Δεν γίνονται αυτά.
Το κουτάκι του στερεότυπου άπαξ και κλείσει, δεν ανοίγει ούτε με τάμα στην Παναγία της Τήνου.
Και α ναι! Δεν τα μαθες; Εμείς οι γυναίκες τις βλέπουμε τις εκκλησίες και για τάματα πέρα από γάμους. Και επίσης: Αν η περίπτωση του φίλου μου στον τομέα γυναίκα-θέλει-γάμο αποτελεί κανόνα στον αντρικό πληθυσμό τότε πραγματικά ελπίζω και εύχομαι να αποτελείς εξαίρεση. Γιατί τα πράγματα προφανώς και είναι διαφορετικά.
Δεν γνωρίζω τι συνέβαινε παλαιότερα, ωστόσο έχω ακούσει αρκετές ιστορίες για γυναίκες που διάλεγαν την παντρειά προκειμένου να καταφέρουν να φύγουν από το πατρικό τους σπίτι –δεν πρέπει να περνούσαν ιδιαιτέρως καλά. Επίσης, τότε είχε μεγάλο σουξέ και το συνοικέσιο. Και η θεία από το Σικάγο. Ωστόσο, και σιχαίνομαι που θα χρησιμοποιήσω την κλισέ φράση που ακολουθεί αλλά δεν υπάρχει καλύτερη: Οι καιροί αλλάζουν.
Οι γυναίκες φεύγουν από το πατρικό τους χωρίς να λογοδοθούν. Διαλέγουν μόνες τους το σύντροφό τους. Και στις περισσότερες περιπτώσεις, θέλω να ελπίζω ότι δεν δίνουν λογαριασμό σε κανέναν σχετικά με τις επιθυμίες και τις προτιμήσεις τους. Και αν θέλουν έναν άντρα να τον παντρευτούν, δεν το κάνουν γιατί το «τι θα πει η άτιμη η κοινωνία» αλλά επειδή πραγματικά, γουστάρουν να περάσουν τη ζωή τους μαζί του. Και για να ξεκαθαρίσω και κάτι που ίσως αγνοείς: Η Ματίνα Μανταρινάκη ήταν fictional χαρακτήρας.
Ο οποίος χαρακτήρας by the way:
Οι υπόλοιπες γυναίκες δεν ζούμε και αναπνέουμε για να μας περάσουν την κουλούρα. Ή για να κάνουμε παιδιά έτσι, επειδή περάσαμε τα τριάντα «και δεν έχουμε χρόνο».
Η κατάρα της τριαντάρας
Μέσα σε όλο αυτό το μεγάλο πανηγύρι της χαράς και του σεξισμού έρχονται και τα χρόνια να παίξουν το ρόλο τους. Κάπως κομπαρσικό μεν, αλλά τον παίζουν. Γιατί σου λέει, η εικοσάρα έχει «μία ζωή μπροστά της». Έχει να τελειώσει τη σχολή της. Να βρει δουλειά (αυτό δεν το λένε και όλοι -δυστυχώς). Να διασκεδάσει την εργένικη ζωή της. Ενώ η τριαντάρα; Εδώ υπάρχει παύση συνοδεία γκριμάτσας.
Η τριαντάρα τι; Τι; Και ξανά τι; Η τριαντάρα δεν έχει τη ζωή μπροστά της; Η τριαντάρα δεν μπορεί ή δεν θέλει να το γλεντήσει; Η τριαντάρα το μόνο που έχει στο μυαλό της πρωί-μεσημέρι-βράδυ είναι να βρει το θύμα που την παντρευτεί; Για να μην παρεξηγούμαι, η λέξη «θύμα» χρησιμοποιείται κυρίως από άντρες όταν αναφέρονται σε φίλους τους που αποφάσισαν να παντρευτούν. Και μιας και τους ανέφερα αυτούς τους άντρες, να σημειώσω κάπου εδώ ότι η κατάσταση έχει εξωκείλει. Εντελώς.
Δεν ξέρω από πού πηγάζει όλη αυτή η τραγική πεποίθηση ότι μία γυναίκα όσο μεγαλώνει γίνεται μία κινητή μπομπονιέρα (στο πιο αδύνατο) ωστόσο, πρέπει επιτέλους να σταματήσει να υπάρχει στο μυαλό όλων.
Και επειδή δεν θέλω να γίνομαι αφοριστική, πρέπει να σου πω ότι προφανώς έχω γνωρίσει γυναίκα που ήθελε σε υπερβολικό βαθμό να παντρευτεί και να κάνει παιδιά. Αλλά το τι υπάρχει μία τέτοια γυναίκα, δεν σημαίνει ότι όλες μας σκεφτόμαστε με τον ίδιο τρόπο.
Γιατί δεν έχουμε όλες τις ίδιες προσλαμβάνουσες από τις οικογένειές μας. Γιατί δεν είμαστε όλες το ίδιο ανασφαλείς. Γιατί δεν είμαστε όλες το ίδιο ανώριμες να θέλουμε να παντρευτούμε μόνο και μόνο για να μην μας λένε γεροντοκόρες και άλλα τέτοια κολακευτικά. Γιατί, γιατί, γιατί.
Οι άνθρωποι, γυναίκες-άντρες, έχουμε περισσότερο ενδιαφέρον από τα υπόλοιπα είδη κυρίως επειδή είμαστε διαφορετικοί. Πώς στο καλό γίνεται να το ξεχνάμε συνέχεια αυτό;
ΥΓ: Σε περίπτωση που ανήκεις στην ίδια συνομοταξία με το φίλο μου, σε παρακαλώ πριν βγάλεις το συμπέρασμα ότι η κοπέλα που έχεις δίπλα σου σε βλέπει σαν ξερολούκουμο πασπαλισμένο με ρύζι, ξανασκέψου το.
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