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Ο έρωτας θέλει να τον τολμάς και η σχέση να την εμπιστεύεσαι.

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Της Στεύης Τσούτση.

Λατρεύω τις σχέσεις.
Λατρεύω τους ανθρώπους που είναι ερωτευμένοι και δε φοβούνται να το δείξουν. Που έχουν τα κότσια να απαρνηθούν την απόλυτη ανεξαρτησία και να βάλουν έναν άλλο άνθρωπο στη ζωή τους.
Γιατί θέλει αλήθεια πολύ τσαγανό για κάτι τέτοιο.Θέλει μαγκιά να αλλάξεις τα πάντα σου για να κάνεις θέση στον έρωτά σου.
Να δεχτείς πως πλέον είστε δύο κι όχι ένας. Πως θα πρέπει να υπολογίζεις ανάγκες κι επιθυμίες που δεν είναι δικές σου. Υπάρχει εκείνος. Και θέλεις να υπάρχει. Εσύ τον ονομάτισες έρωτα και τώρα πρέπει να πράξεις τα δέοντα.
Σε τρομάζουν; Νιώθεις πως χάνεις την αυτονομία; Την αυτάρκεια; Την ελευθερία;
Και πολύ καλά κάνεις και τα χάνεις.
Η σχέση, μάτια μου, σου επαναπροσδιορίζει τα πάντα.
Σου αλλάζει όσα ήξερες μέχρι εκείνη την ώρα και στα συλλαβίζει ξανά. Καινούρια…
Εσύ είσαι πάλι. Αλλά όχι μόνος… Υπολογίζεις, μετράς, σέβεσαι. Μα δεν αποφασίζεις.
Αποφασίζετε…Μαζί…
Είναι ωραίο να μοιράζεσαι. Είναι ωραίο πράγματα που έκανες μόνος, πλέον να τα κάνεις μαζί.
Αυτό το “μαζί” είναι το ομορφότερο δώρο που μπορεί να χαριστεί ποτέ στον άνθρωπο. Πάει αντάμα με την πληρότητα και τη γαλήνη του ότι δεν είσαι μόνος.
Όχι δεν είσαι μόνος. Κι έρχονται ώρες που απορείς γιατί κάποτε υπήρξες. Απορείς πόσα πολλά έκανες μοναχός που τώρα δε διανοείσαι καν πως δε θα κάνετε παρέα.
Κι άλλα που σου φαινόταν βουνό, πως τώρα γίνονται παιχνίδι.
Μεγάλη υπόθεση να ανοίγεις την καρδιά σου. Να γράφεις πάνω της όνομα αγαπημένο και να λες “ας τη μοιραστούμε”.
Ρίσκο θα μου πεις. Πάντα θα σέρνονται οι ίσκιοι των παλιών πληγών και οι φόβοι πως μπορεί να ξανανοίξουν. Ή ακόμη χειρότερα να γίνουν περισσότερες.
Αλλά πως να τη ζήσεις τη ζωή σε προστατευτικό κουκούλι, μου λες;
Πόσο να αποστασιοποιηθείς από τον άλλο; Σαν χτυπά η καρδούλα σου για πάρτη του, σαν όλο το είναι σου τον ζητά, μπορείς να μείνεις σε απόσταση;
Κι αν μείνεις, τι θα καταφέρεις;
Ζωή μισή. Ανέραστη, ανάλατη, αδιάφορη.
Ο έρωτας θέλει να τον τολμάς και η σχέση να την εμπιστεύεσαι. Να ανοίγεσαι και να τη ζεις.
Να λες στον άλλο “Οι παντόφλες που σου πήρα είναι κάτω από το κρεβάτι και η οδοντόβουρτσα σου στο μπάνιο” και να ξέρει πως του έκανες χώρο.
Κι ας φρικάρει. Κι ας φρικάρεις κι εσύ μαζί του.
Μοιράσου τη ζωή σου. Κάνε χώρο στον άλλο να απλωθεί. Και μη φοβάσαι αν θα το μετανιώσεις.
Μη φοβάσαι ότι μπορεί να ξημερώσει μέρα που ο χώρος σου θα μείνεις κενός, δίχως εκείνον.
Παλεύεται με το φόβο η ζωή;
Θα σου πω εγώ κι ας μην είμαι παντογνώστης.
Όχι δεν παλεύεται. Δεν περνά η ρημάδα, μόνο σέρνεται.
Γι’αυτό ξέχνα τις δεύτερες σκέψεις και ζήσε το.
Κι ό,τι γίνει.
Τουλάχιστον, όποια κι αν είναι η κατάληξη δε θα έχεις κανένα “αν” να σε βασανίζει.

Πηγή

Στεύη Τσούτση

Μηχανολόγος Μηχανικός Ε.Μ.Π για τον μπαμπά, καλλιτέχνις για την ηρεμία της ψυχής της. Πνεύμα ανήσυχο και βαθιά συναισθηματικό. Πιστεύει στην καλή πλευρά των ανθρώπων κι ας την πατάει συχνά πυκνά. Κάθε της σκέψη, όνειρο κι ελπίδα τα μετουσιώνει σε λέξεις από τότε που έπιασε πρώτη φορά μολύβι στα χέρια της. Θα τη δεις να χορεύει όπου σταθεί κι όπου βρεθεί, να σκαρφίζεται από το πουθενά ιστορίες και να ονειρεύεται… Κι αποδείχτηκε πως δίκαια πιστεύει ότι τα όνειρα, όπως κι ο έρωτας, πάντα βρίσκουν το δρόμο τους. Λίγο μετά τα τριάντα, μπορεί να καμαρώνει πως κάτι κατάφερε από όσα τόλμησε να ονειρευτεί: Επιμελήτρια εκδόσεων, συγγραφέας και τυχερή κόρη, αδερφή και σύζυγος. Moto της; Όλα γίνονται αρκεί να τα πιστέψεις και να παλέψεις γι’αυτά.

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Όσο αφήνεις το παρελθόν να σε στοιχειώνει, τόσο λιγότερο θα απολαμβάνεις τη ζωή σου

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Έτσι, θυμόμαστε όσα είναι πραγματικά σημαντικά για μας και μας συναρπάζουν, γιατί ενεργοποιούνται οι περιοχές και οι νευρωνικές συνδέσεις του εγκεφάλου που είναι υπεύθυνες για τη διατήρηση αυτής της μνήμης.

Το πρόβλημα ανακύπτει όταν ο εγκέφαλος διατηρεί έντονα αναμνήσεις που θα πρέπει να ξεχάσουμε, γιατί δεν μας κάνουν καλό. Και ακριβώς αυτή η σήμανση συγκεκριμένων αναμνήσεων που επιθυμούμε να σβήσουμε είναι ο μηχανισμός που τις κρατά ζωντανές στο μυαλό μας.

Όπως πρεσβεύει και η μέθοδος της αντίστροφης ψυχολογίας, η διαδικασία της λήθης ξεκινά όταν αντίστοιχες καινούργιες μνήμες αντικαθιστούν τις παλιές μη επιθυμητές. Έτσι στο τέλος, όταν το μυαλό ανακτά μνήμες του παρελθόντος, έχει κάτι πιο φρέσκο να φέρει μπροστά μας!

“Πρέπει να ζουμε στο παρόν, να αναβαθμίζουμε τον εαυτό μας σε κάθε ευκαιρία που παρουσιάζεται μπροστά μας, να κερδίζουμε την αιωνιότητα κάθε στιγμή. Μόνο οι ανόητοι κάθονται στο νησί που κρύβει το θησαυρό κοιτώντας από μακριά άλλες παραλίες. Όπως δεν υπάρχουν άλλα νησιά για μας, έτσι υπάρχει μόνο μία ζωή που καλούμαστε να ζήσουμε.”

Η ανάμνηση μοιάζει με άρωμα που κρατά για πολύ

Οι απολαύσεις είναι λουλούδια που ανθίζουν όταν ζούμε τη ζωή μας, την παίρνουμε στα χέρια μας και τη γευόμαστε. Οι ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις είναι εκείνες που συνέβησαν τις στιγμές που έπρεπε και που δεν ξεχείλωσαν πέρα από τα όριά τους μη αφήνοντας να γευτούμε καινούργιες στιγμές.

Δεν θυμόμαστε γεγονότα στην ολότητά τους παρά μόνο συγκεκριμένες στιγμές, γι’ αυτό λοιπόν θα πρέπει να έχουμε βιώματα και εμπειρίες ξανά και ξανά. Ο πλούτος της ζωής βρίσκεται στις αναμνήσεις που συνεχίζουμε να κάνουμε και επιλέγουμε να κρατάμε. Μερικές φορές είναι δύσκολο να τολμήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες, ειδικά αν είμαστε κολλημένοι και περιχαρακωμένοι στη ζώνη άνεσης μας. Ωστόσο, αν θέλουμε να έχουμε ευχάριστες αναμνήσεις θα πρέπει να ζούμε μία έντονη ζωή.

Μολονότι, έχουμε ένα απτό και ικανό φυσικό σώμα και με τις αισθήσεις μας μπορούμε να έρθουμε σε επαφή με το εξωτερικό κόσμο και να τον καθορίσουμε όπως θέλουμε, εγκλωβιζόμαστε σε όσα μας λέει το μυαλό μας και η εσωτερική μας φωνή. Παρ’ όλο αυτό, θα πρέπει να πάρουμε μια απόφαση. Είτε Θα περάσουμε τη ζωή μας αναμασώντας όσα μας συνέβησαν στο παρελθόν και ενθυμούμενοι τις άσχημες εμπειρίες που είχαμε, είτε θα πάρουμε τον έλεγχο της ζωής μας, θα ζήσουμε νέες εμπειρίες και φυσικά θα ελέγξουμε τα συναισθήματά μας. Μόνο αν τολμήσουμε κάτι τέτοιο, θα μπορέσουμε να απολαύσουμε την ύπαρξή μας.

Το κλειδί για να βιώνουμε περισσότερο είναι να σκεφτόμαστε και να αναπολούμε το παρελθόν λιγότερο και να περιορίζουμε τις προσδοκίες που περιμένουμε να υλοποιηθούν στο μέλλον. Να αποδεχτούμε αυτά που έχουμε στο εδώ και στο τώρα και τίποτα περισσότερο. Να ζούμε τις στιγμές μας εμποδίζοντας τους εαυτούς μας να αποπροσανατολιστούν από τις παγίδες που βάζει το μυαλό.

Εν τέλει, ο προορισμός μας είναι να ζήσουμε, όμως καταλήγουμε να ζούμε ελάχιστα. Είναι η ώρα να αντιστρέψουμε αυτόν τον κανόνα. Η ευτυχία δεν βρίσκεται σε άλλο τόπο και χρόνο, αλλά στο παρόν στο εδώ και στο τώρα. θυμάστε πάντα.

Πηγές: share24.gr / Spirit Alive 
Εικόνα: Johnny Palacios Hidalgo paint
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Τάσος Λειβαδίτης: «Μάθε να αγαπάς αυτούς που δεν πληγώνουν την αγάπη»

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Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από τα δύσκολα. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που σε πλήγωναν εύκολα, που δεν δίσταζαν να σου πουν όχι, που δεν σε φρόντιζαν όσο θα ήθελες. Έμαθες να έλκεσαι από ανθρώπους που ενώ γνώριζες ότι δεν είσαι ευτυχισμένος, ευτυχισμένη, παρέμενες και το ονόμαζες σχέση.

Παλιά έλεγες ότι αξίζεις περισσότερα, σταδιακά όμως σταμάτησες να το λες. Τον ξέχασες τον εαυτό σου. Δικαιολογούσες όλες τις συμπεριφορές των άλλων. Έμαθες να εφευρίσκεις δικαιολογίες για όλες τις συμπεριφορές, για όλα τα λόγια, για αυτά που σε πλήγωναν. Έμαθες να λες ότι γίνεσαι πιο δυνατός, πιο δυνατή έτσι.

Έμαθες να προσπαθείς να σώσεις, ακόμα και αυτά που δεν σώζονται. Προσπαθούσες για χρόνια να πείσεις τον εαυτό σου ότι έτσι είναι οι σχέσεις. Δύσκολες, πρέπει πάντα να καταλαβαίνεις τον άλλον, απαιτούν μόνιμα συμβιβασμούς και μόνιμα έπρεπε να προσφέρεις εσύ.

Να σου πω όμως κάτι; Δεν είναι έτσι οι σχέσεις. Έμαθες να αγαπάς όσους πληγώνουν την αγάπη, όσους πλήγωναν εσένα. Ονόμαζες το λίγο πολύ και πάντα δικαιολογούσες. Πάντα έλεγες ότι καταλαβαίνεις τους άλλους και ότι στην αγάπη πρέπει πάντα να ακούμε. Να σου πω όμως κάτι;

Δεν είναι αυτό αγάπη. Στην αγάπη προσφέρουν και οι δύο, νιώθουν και οι δύο, ακούνε και οι δύο, φροντίζουν και θαυμάζουν και οι δύο, ρωτάνε και οι δύο, ενδιαφέρονται και οι δύο, είναι παρόντες και οι δύο, επιδιώκουν και οι δύο, προσφέρουν και οι δύο, θέλουν τη σχέση έμπρακτα και οι δύο.

Δεν πληγώνουν. Δεν μειώνουν. Δεν παραμελούν. Δεν αγνοούν. Δείχνουν, με λίγα ή με πολλά, δεν έχει σημασία. Σέβονται. Και είναι τόσο όμορφο να σε σέβονται, να σε θαυμάζουν, να σου λένε πόσο όμορφος είσαι ή πόσο όμορφο είναι αυτό που έφτιαξες.

Σταμάτησε να δικαιολογείς και να αρκείσαι στα λίγα. Φρόντισε τον εαυτό σου και αγάπησέ τον μέσα από τις επιλογές σου. Μην περιμένεις μία γιορτή για να σου δείξει ο άλλος αν σε αγαπάει. Αγάπη σημαίνει να σου δείχνω καθημερινά ότι αξίζω εγώ να είμαι δίπλα σου.

Ελένη Σολταρίδου – enallaktikidrasi.com

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Δε κλαίω γιατί είμαι αδύναμος! Κλαίω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός!

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Ναι κλαίω. Κλαίω γιατί δεν είναι «ντροπή», επειδή δεν «εκτίθεμαι» όταν το κάνω όπως εσύ υποστηρίζεις. Κλαίω γιατί τα χω καλά με τον εαυτό μου κι έχω μάθει να μην τον καταπιέζω μόνο και μόνο για να μπορώ να εντάσσομαι στην κάθε κοινωνική νόρμα που θέλει τους «δυνατούς» αναίσθητους.

Κλαίω γιατί δεν είμαι αναίσθητος και επιλέγω να μην μηδενίζω τον ανθρώπινο συναισθηματισμό και την πηγαία δύναμη ξεσπάσματος που έχω μέσα μου και που όσο κι αν εσένα σου φαίνεται περίεργο, θέλει πολλά κουράγια να καταφέρεις να βγάλεις προς τα έξω.

Γιατί όταν αυτή η δύναμη απελευθερώνεται μένει εκεί για να σε ξυπνήσει, να σε κινητοποιήσει και να κατευθύνει την συνείδησή σου εκεί που έχεις ξεχάσει πώς να πάς.

Εκεί που είσαι άνθρωπος και εκφράζεσαι με ειλικρίνεια και θάρρος, όχι απέναντι στους άλλους αλλά απέναντι στον ίδιο σου τον εαυτό.

Εκεί που κοιτάς κατάματα την ψυχή σου και της ζητάς παραπονεμένα το λόγο που σ’ αφήνει να ζεις όπως σου λένε οι άλλοι. Εκεί που ο πόνος, η συγκίνηση, η αγανάκτηση , η χαρά είναι και πάλι μέρος του εαυτού σου κι όχι απαγορευμένες, ξεχασμένες καταστάσεις του είναι σου.

Και ναι έφτασα εκεί. Και ήταν δύσκολο να αντιμετωπίσω τον εαυτό μου, μάλλον, ήταν δύσκολο να τον βρω γιατί συνεχώς τον έχανα ψάχνοντάς τον πίσω από καλώς δημιουργημένα, κοινωνικώς αποδεκτά προσωπεία.

Κι όταν τον βρήκα επιτέλους φοβήθηκα, κι άρχισα να τρέχω με πανικό για να μην συνειδητοποιήσω άλλα. Και μακριά από αυτόν έτρεχα κι από όλους τους άλλους, που μου έδιναν ρηχά διδάγματα επιβίωσης και επέμεναν πως είμαι αδύναμος και πως πρέπει να «σκληρύνω» και να κρύψω τον εαυτό μου για να επιβιώσω.

Στο τέλος όμως σταμάτησα. Γιατί ήταν μάταιο και γιατί κουράστηκα. Σταμάτησα αποφασιστικά, γύρισα προς τα πίσω, είδα τον εαυτό μου, του χαμογέλασα, τον πήρα αγκαλιά και μαζί πήραμε τον δρόμο του γυρισμού. Και μαζί ήμασταν πιο δυνατοί απέναντι στους άλλους. Και δυσκολευτήκαμε και συναντήσαμε εμπόδια αλλά δεν είχε πλέον σημασία γιατί είμαι πλέον ζωντανός! Κι όταν αισθάνομαι το κάνω με όλη την έννοια της λέξης!

Κι αν θέλω να κλάψω θα το κάνω, ακόμη κι αν είναι με μια μικρή λεπτομέρεια που με συγκίνησε και βελτίωσε ολιγόλεπτα την βαρετή καθημερινότητα που έχετε δημιουργήσει, και που ευτυχώς πλέον βιώνω ως απλός παρατηρητής. Και ευτυχώς δεν είμαι μόνος μου. Υπάρχουν κι άλλοι σαν κι εμένα και θα υπάρξουν ακόμη περισσότεροι.

Θα κλάψω γιατί είμαι ζωντανός και αν ο λόγος δεν σας αρκεί και θέλετε κάτι πιο «λογικό», θα κλάψω για σας και τον χαμένο σας συναισθηματισμό. Όχι για να σας θρηνήσω αλλά για να σας κάνω να θυμηθείτε τι θα πει «είμαι ζωντανός».

Σας χαιρετώ,

Ένας ζωντανός άνθρωπος

Πηγή: have2read
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